April 14, 2012: We Survived

So, any dark tales from yesterday’s Friday the 13th? I’m sad to report that mine was dull.

49 LTEs written in response to April 14, 2012: We Survived

• Everton are up 1-0 over Liverpool in a Merseyside FA Cup semi-final.

• davidwatts

Two brilliant goals by Man City and they are dominating something called Norwich at the half

• 1-1 thanks to Suarez. ~20 minutes to go.

• Goal Norwich. I’d love to see ManCity drop 2 (or maybe even 3) points after having a 2-0 lead. I’ve got the Minute-by-minute for MC-NC and the FA Cup game streaming.

• davidwatts

Man City is the ESPN2 game this morning
I’ll tune into live sports programming at 7am even though I dont care about the results. its a nice thing to have on while doing my morning reading.

• Yeah, my stream is ESPN’s feed as I’m being subjected to Macca. Kinda funny the picture is going from a camera in England to a satellite in space to America. Then from a computer in the States through the tubes over to the Czech Republic.

• City responded and ended up 6-1 winners. They’re only 2 points back of ManUtd, who play Villa tomorrow at home.

• I’m rooting for Everton, but Maxi Rodriguez will always have a place in my heart

Let’s hope he doesn’t do that to Timmy Howard

• freealonzo

Wow, Liverpool wins 2-1. Weren’t they playing their 3rd string keeper? Can Liverpool add a FA Cup to their Carling Cup this year?

• ubelmann

It was a nice afternoon for a Sounders 1-0 win over the Colorado Rapids. Brian Mullan earned a caution for a rash challenge on Oswaldo Alonso. I’ll be pretty happy the day Mullan’s out of the league.

• davidwatts

Noon game/FOX broadcast for the Twins today.

• Beau

and I’ll be here for it, my last game a while

• brianS

what??

• davidwatts

as a team, the Twins have grounded into 10 double plays (3 by Mauer and 3 by Valencia). The next closest team in the AL has 8 (Det, Tor)

• bhiggum

Team OBP and BABIP for those three clubs-
Tigers- .342, .317
Twins- .311, .282
Jays- .272, .226

Wow, Toronto really stands out. Twins probably will have some improvement on BABIP through the year, but the poor Jays have a bad case of the assbats. How do you hit into that many double-plays when you don’t hardly get anyone on base?

• New Britain Bo

It’s not Platform 9 3/4 at King’s Cross, but still a cool tube idea.

• Beau

Tiger starters have no wins on the season. Tiger relievers are 5-0.

• davidwatts

Duane Below for Cy Young!

• If he wins it over Jeff Gray, the institution is meaningless.

• Rowsdower

We’re supposed to be getting some severe weather this evening here in Omerha. It must be serious, I keep hearing that Jim Cantore from the Weather Channel is in town.

• davidwatts

the Storm Prediction Center seems to think so. They dont issue High risk areas very often.

• In sad, slightly scary news, Piermario Morosini, footballer for Livorno*, died of a heartattack on the pitch today, aged 25. The rest of the games in Italy this weekend have been postponed out of respect.

*Livorno plays in Serie B, the Italian second division.

• New Britain Bo

The Adventures of Fluffie, The Erstwhile Used Mesh Pouf Bath Sponge.

After running a 5K in Bloomfield this morning, and moving my batch of ProSeries Surly Furious to 2′ary fermentation, this Bo Britain was relaxed and ready for some domestics.

I started a batch of laundry, then remembered that it’s that time of year -- to clean out the dryer tube apparatus (or whatever it is called).

After unhooking the tube from the dryer, I went out to the man-space in the garage. Hanging on one of the hundred hooks on the overly crowded peg board was Fluffie.

I attached the pouf bath sponge to one end of a cord, and a large bolt to the other end. Feeding the bolt through the tube, I pulled the rope through after stuffing Fluffie into the other end.

Within seconds, the sponge came whooshing through the opening, followed by a litter of dryer lint. Attaboy, Fluffie! Your work is done!

• brianS

Wow. Nice idea, but how long is your dryer tube thingamajig? Mine is only a couple of feet of flexible tubing before it attaches to the wall — and THAT outlet is a good 25 feet (up and out) to the vent outside.

• New Britain Bo

Mine is about 10 ft long -- flexible stuff, goes right into vent to the outside. You might need to tie to the tail of a squirrel/hamster to pull thru.

• Yeah, ours is ungodly long; I have no idea how I’d clean it out completely

• socaltwinsfan

Seen on Facebook from one of my wife’s friends:

On my way home from work, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat.

I have a $50 bill and a$2 bill. I figure with the $2 bill, I can get something to eat and not have to worry about irritating anyone for trying to break a$50 bill.

Me: ‘Hi, I’d like one seven-layer burrito please, to go.’ Server: ‘That’ll be $1.04. Eat in?’ Me: ‘No, it’s to go.’ At this point, I open my billfold and hand him the$2 bill. He looks at it kind of funny.
Server: ‘Uh, hang on a sec, I’ll be right back.’ He goes to talk to his manager, who is still within my earshot.

The following conversation occurs between the two of them:

Server: ‘Hey, you ever see a $2 bill?’ Manager: ‘No. A what?’ Server: ‘A$2 bill. This guy just gave it to me…’
Manager: ‘Ask for something else. There’s no such thing as a $2 bill.’ Server: ‘Yeah, thought so.’ He comes back to me and says, ‘We don’t take these. Do you have anything else?’ Me: ‘Just this fifty. You don’t take$2 bills? Why?
Server: ‘I don’t know.’
Me: ‘See here where it says legal tender?’
Server: ‘Yeah.’
Me: ‘So, why won’t you take it?’
Server: ‘Well, hang on a sec.’

He goes back to his manager, who has been watching me like I’m a shoplifter, and says to him, ‘He says I have to take it.’

Manager: ‘Doesn’t he have anything else?’
Server: ‘Yeah, a fifty. I’ll get it and you can open the safe and get change.
Manager: ‘I’m not opening the safe with him in here.’
Server: ‘What should I do?’
Manager: ‘Tell him to come back later when he has real money.’
Server: ‘I can’t tell him that! You tell him.’
Manager: ‘Just tell him.’
Server: ‘No way! This is weird. I’m going in back.

The manager approaches me and says, ‘I’m sorry, but we don’t take big bills this time of night.’

Me: ‘It’s only seven o’clock! Well then, here’s a two dollar bill.’
Manager: ‘We don’t take those, either.’
Me: ‘Why not?’
Manager: ‘I think you know why.’
Me: ‘No really, tell me why.’
Manager ‘Please leave before I call mall security.’
Me: ‘Excuse me?’
Manager: ‘Please leave before I call mall security.’
Me: ‘What on earth for?’
Me: ‘Uh, go ahead, call them.’
Manager: ‘Would you please just leave?’
Me: ‘No.’
Manager: ‘Fine — have it your way then.’
Me: ‘Hey, that’s Burger King, isn’t it?’

At this point, he backs away from me and calls mall security on the phone around the corner. I have two people staring at me from the dining area, and I begin laughing out loud, just for effect.

A few minutes later this 45-year-oldish guy comes in.

Guard: ‘Yeah, Mike, what’s up?’
Manager (whispering): ‘This guy is trying to give me some (pause) funny money.’
Guard: ‘No kidding! What?’
Manager: ‘Get this. A two dollar bill.’
Guard (incredulous): ‘Why would a guy fake a two dollar bill?’
Manager: ‘I don’t know. He’s kinda weird. He says the only other thing he has is a fifty.’
Guard: ‘Oh, so the fifty’s fake!’
Manager: ‘No, the two dollar bill is.’
Guard: ‘Why would he fake a two dollar bill?’
Manager : ‘I don’t know! Can you talk to him, and get him out of here?’
Guard: ‘Yeah.’

Security Guard walks over to me and……

Guard: ‘Mike here tells me you have some fake bills you’re trying to use.’
Me: ‘Uh, no.’
Guard: ‘Lemme see ‘em.’
Me: ‘Why?’
Guard: ‘Do you want me to get the cops in here?’

At this point I’m ready to say, ‘Sure, please!’ but I want to eat, so I say, ‘I’m just trying to buy a burrito and pay for it with this two dollar bill. I put the bill up near his face, and he flinches like I’m taking a swing at him. He takes the bill turns it over a few times in his hands, and he says,

Guard: ‘Hey, Mike, what’s wrong with this bill?’
Manager: ‘It’s fake.’
Guard: ‘It doesn’t look fake to me.’
Manager: ‘But it’s a two dollar bill.’
Guard: ‘Yeah? ‘
Manager: ‘Well, there’s no such thing, is there?’

The security guard and I both look at him like he’s an idiot and it dawns on the guy that he has no clue and is an idiot. So, it turns out that my burrito was free, and he threw in a small drink and some of those cinnamon thingies, too.

• davidwatts

funny story.

I heard that exact same story read on KQ as a “listener segment” almost verbatim about a year ago.

• Yeah, this has bogus written all over it, since the customer wouldn’t be privy to all the other conversations.

I can see it happening, though. It’s probably got its basis in reality.

• Beau

I got this in an e-mail forward about ten years ago. It’s obviously apocryphal, but like you said, I’m sure it’s happened in some manner.

• DK

Yeah, I could be wrong, but I think it’s been a while since one could get a 7-layer burrito for \$1.04.

• I saw this story years ago (my God, 15 years ago probably) on the back page of the MN Daily.

• Headline on SBNation right now

Joey Votto And The Twilight Of The Giant First Basemen
Twelve years ago, giant first basemen walked the earth. Twelve years from now, Joey Votto will be 40.

I have no idea what that even means besides the fact Votto is currently 28 years old.

• brianS

pfft. the Giants have three first basemen right now.

• SBG

This bolds well for Mr. Clemens.

• SBG

One hundred years ago right now, the Titanic had already hit the iceberg and was taking on water. A twitter feed is reenacting the event. @TitanicRealTime

• brianS

Abstract
Since the sinking of the Titanic, there has been a widespread belief that the social norm of ‘women and children first’ gives women a survival advantage over men in maritime disasters, and that captains and crew give priority to passengers. We analyze a database of 18 maritime disasters spanning three centuries, covering the fate of over 15,000 individuals of more than 30 nationalities. Our results provide a new picture of maritime disasters. Women have a distinct survival disadvantage compared to men. Captains and crew survive at a significantly higher rate than passengers. We also find that the captain has the power to enforce normative behavior, that the gender gap in survival rates has declined, that women have a larger disadvantage in British shipwrecks, and that there seems to be no association between duration of a disaster and the impact of social norms. Taken together, our findings show that behavior in life-and-death situation is best captured by the expression ‘Every man for himself’.

• davidwatts

The Wolves should have hired Rick Adelman 10 years ago

Jon Krawczynski ‏ @APkrawczynski

Adelman is dumbfounded by hand-wringing over Westbrook’s style of play. Said “he can come over here” and play anytime.

• davidwatts

Im glad I dont work for this company anymore. I miss the job, just not the higher ups ruining running it

Local radio company threatens listeners with lawsuits

• davidwatts

somehow, the Wolves are in this game at halftime. JJ Barea has 17 points

• brianS

Wow. That is ridiculous. I hope the story goes viral.

• davidwatts

Yeah, its a terrible strategy for building listeners. But it doesnt really surprise me.

Gary Buchanan, Three Eagles president and chief operating officer, declined to comment about listener complaints or letters from Three Eagles attorneys, saying “this shouldn’t be something (the Journal Star) should be concerned with.”

if you look at the corporate website, its high comedy what they say

Three Eagles Communications commits to keeping your entertainment local and consistent with talent that lives in our communities.

yep, thats why every station they have bought, they slash the on air staff and voice track or run syndicated programming. They want to be like Clear Channel.

• They own KKEZ, which used to be the only 1/2 decent station near my parents when I lived there. But they were bought by these guys in 07 and then changed formats in ’09 and now are terrible.

• davidwatts

where has this Anthony Randolph guy been all season? he seems engaged on both ends of the court.

• davidwatts

Kevin Durant is so freaking good, its frustrating!

• davidwatts

if the Wolves have a full compliment of player, I think they could beat OKC 5 out of 10 times.

• brianS

Are caterpillars frat boys?

Caterpillars More Likely to Vomit Alone

ScienceDaily (Apr. 12, 2012) — A type of caterpillar which defends itself by regurgitating on its predators is less likely to do so when in groups than when alone, a new study by researchers from the University of Liverpool and the University of Bristol has found

(h/t the Daily Dish)