- Neither starter gets a quality start, but one of them is declared the winner.
- Baby Jeebus — two walks. Hey, he’s a machine!
- A Tigers error. Nah, that’s too easy.
- Joe Nathan — one baserunner, no runs, and no camera time as FOX spends his half inning on an interview with [best guess: Seligula]
- Countless inane comments by the announcers. Again, too easy.
- KEY PHRASE OF THE GAME: “And how about those Pirates?!”