2013 Game 41 Recap: Minnesota Twins 1, Anachronistic Racist Chanters 5

May 20th, 2013, at 9:09 pm 2 LTEs

Winning Streak: -6 Days Since Joe Mauer was booed for the Twins’ sins: probably 1 Days Until the Universe folds in on itself: days will no longer be relevent since the Earth will be long destroyed Days Until this losing streak is over: 1 day after that

It’s been a long week since the [...]

2013 Game 35 Recap: The Aaron Hicks Show 10, Sucky Sucky South Siders 3

May 13th, 2013, at 10:20 pm 4 LTEs

Days since Joe Mauer’s 30th Birthday: 24 Days since Aaron Hicks got his man bat out: 0 Days since Gladden called a coherent inning: imaginary number

I was in the car for the first 2 hours of this game, so the time in between Hicks’ amazing catch and his second homer was spent walking [...]

Game 28 Recap: Twins 5, Red Sox 6

May 6th, 2013, at 11:15 pm 3 LTEs

Number of games under .500: 2 Number of days since Joe Mauer’s 30th birthday: 17 Number of guys who didn’t know not to run on him this game: 2 Number of days since the Twins won the World Series: 7862

Games like this require that you look at the positives. The Twins lost the [...]

Game 22 Recap: Prince Fielder 3, Twins 3, Pelfrey -1

April 30th, 2013, at 1:33 am Write the first LTE

Winning Streak: -1 Number of Days since Joe Mauer’s 30th Birthday: 11 Number of times a Prince Fielder Home Run has ruined the day: significant, but unknown

After this game I couldn’t shake the feeling that I’ve seen this before. Oh yeah, I have seen this before. His very first major league home run. I [...]

The Joe Mauers 8, The No Mauers 2

April 15th, 2013, at 11:50 pm 11 LTEs

Winning Streak: 1

Winning Pitcher: Correia (1-1) Losing Pitcher: Blanton (0-3)

Joe Mauer either really likes honoring civil rights hero Jackie Robinson, or really hates him and wishes for the day to be called Joe Mauer Day with everyone wearing number 3s and fake sideburns. Either way, Mauer destroyed Angels’ pitching and put in [...]

Game 7: Twins 1, Loyalist Supporters of Dynastic Authority 3

April 9th, 2013, at 12:05 am One LTE

WP: Santana(no, not that one) (1-1) LP: Correia (0-1) SV: Crow (1)

Unlike the vast majority of citizens, I grew up very far from Twins territory in the major league sports desert of Oklahoma. When I was a boy there were a couple of occasions where my family would meet my grandpa in KC [...]