241 thoughts on “Game 102: Twins at Rangers”

1. who would you have lead off?

   1. Pussy?

   2. Kubel wheels mcghee

   3. Given these nine guys, my lineup would be something like Juicy/Mauer/Cuddyer/Kubel/Delmon/Casilla/Nishioka/Repko/Plouffe

      1. Kubel batting fourth against the lefty? Plouffe should be higher as well.. maybe he can bat second and the rest shift down?

         1. I'm gonna be honest with ya: I'm a little too tipsy to be thinking about handedness.

            1. Sure, pull out the alcohol excuse..

               1. Believe me, I wish I could pull out that excuse less often.

2. Casilla or Nishi would be preferable. I'd be fine if Gardy just put Repko at the bottom and moved everyone up a slot.

3. Per discussion at mini-caucus: Gameday says the temperature is 104 degrees.

   1. Whats the heat index?

      1. Only 107.

         1. Weak sauce. Juicy sauce loves this weather

   2. It's a dry heat.

4. For god's sake, please tell me this isn't going to be another one of these games.

5. You know...baseball is really dumb sometimes.

6. Scowl.

   1. This game makes me happy that it looks like I have a good season of Survivor brewing. This game makes me relieved I'll have fantasy football again.

      Oh well...here's hoping BS doesn't completely kill this franchise by the time the trade deadline passes.

      1. Span, Hicks, and Gibson for Tyler Clippard! Our closer problem is solved.

7. Mean bean or something

   1. Regression!!!!

8. Blargh. Maybe I'll check back in the 6th or so.

   1. ...Now it's 18-1. At least I'm not tempted to waste the rest of my evening, I guess.

9. blowout? I should be working on another graphic,

10. Damn.

11. Eat me raw, _elm_n.

    1. Can I Dido myself?

       1. dude, this is a family website...

          1. Kelly Wells (I) likes this.

       2. That sounds a little dirty, but sure, go for it.

12. I see Blackie's staked our opponents an early lead, once again planning to crush their dreams of victory with a late-innings incursion on their bullpen.

    1. That's how crafty pirates work.

       1. The Texas PBP guy was talking about how consistent Blac_burn has been over his career. I submit that when you're mediocre consistency is much easier to maintain.

          1. Obviously the Texas guy doesn't realize that pretty good plus pretty bad averages out to consistently mediocre as well.

13. *cue circus music*

14. Hit the cutoff man, you dolt.

15. From personal experience I can tell y'all that texans don't like folks from minnesota.

    1. I think getting the North Stars more than compensates for us getting the good Senators franchise.

       1. I think trading Hershell Walker for multiple Super Bowls trumps that easily.

       2. Yeah, the stars thing still chaps my ass. Living there makes the pain even worse.

    2. Yeah, but that's primarily because they aren't from Texas, right?

16. oh, it's this blackburn tonight.

17. Well the good news is Blackburn hasn't thrown 40 pitches yet. Maybe he can tough it out and pitch like 6 crappy innings to save the bullpen.

    1. 43 pitches, six runs. I'm slightly hopeful for three innings from Bad Blackie.

18. I hate baseball.

19. Is Smalley advocating Michael Young for the Hall? Tell me I missed something in there, please.

    1. .300 hitter!

       1. My head asplode

20. Oooh, Gardy is pissed.

    1. At who, exactly?

       1. He was just looking at the lineup card and waving his arms emphatically. My guess is that he's not looking forward to fragging the bullpen.

          1. Bullpen blackout bingo on the first night of a 10 game road trip? It's gonna be a long couple of weeks.

             Especially if every ball the Twins hit hard is an at 'em ball.

          2. Geez, aren't they carrying 13 pitchers? May as well bring up a spare starter from Triple A. I think there's one wandering around over there.

21. Blackburn realizes he's supposed to get these guys out, and not just throw BP, right?

22. Hey, maybe Texas can score three runs every inning this game.

    1. I'm told Blac_burn is a model of consistency.

       1. He did it! Too bad I was also right about him not making it through the third.

23. I don't even have Gameday up. I'm just here to hang with you guys.

24. I love coming back from commercial and there's already one out.

25. Some games I can only dream of having as many hits as our opponent has runs.

    1. Look at the bright side: easy trivia win tonight.

       1. yeah, my mind has already gone there...

    2. I'd settle for more hits than errors.

26. I think I'm going to watch the President talk about something slightly more depressing than this game.

    1. Me too.

       1. I watched it, and now I cry.

          1. And then I came back to the game, and now I'm ready to move to Finland.

             1. Finland has Europe's highest suicide and alcoholism rates. Just sayin'.

                1. And yet it was the third-happiest country on Earth this year.

                   1. Sounds like self-selection bias.

                      1. Ooh, zing.

             2. I'm thinking Sweden. Maybe we can have a Scandinavian WGOM caucus!

27. Well, after watching this week's Breaking Bad, I'm happy to say I didn't pay attention to the Twins for the first couple of innings.

    Also, it was good to see Ellsworth again.

    1. Left 4 Dead or Resident Evil 4?

       1. I had to go with Resident Evil 4 based on the definition of zombies.

28. On a brighter note, I made some root beer last night and tried some today. I enjoyed it, even if my wife didn't share the same opinion. It definitely tasted a lot different than commercial root beer, though, since I used actual sassafras root.

    1. Ooooh. Does it have a thicker mouthfeel than the commercial stuff?

       1. The mouthfeel was similar to Sprechers because I used malto-dextrin to thicken it up. It had a very, very earthy taste with a lot of black licorice (because I used quite a bit of star anise), and I used brown sugar to sweeten it, which probably made a difference. I'll try to remember to bring it with me on Sunday, if you're interested in trying it.

          1. Absolutely interested. I love rooted beers.

29. Consistency!

30. Holy fucj

31. I'm out. See ya.

32. i'm outta here.

33. httpv://youtu.be/ca9GuwuOVZc

34. Man neck tat would be awesome here

35. I really wish Slowey & Gibson were tearing up AAA so that they could be inserted into the rotation for Blackburn & Duensing. Sigh.

    1. Apparently Gibson is wearing down already. He threw 152 innings last year and 95 this year, so it's not looking good he'll be a solid starter.

       1. It's been nothing but great news for the Twins since they clinched last year, eh? Sigh.

          1. um...Perkins? That's all I got

          2. On the plus side, Gibson has a 3.67 FIP, which looks nicer than his 4.81 ERA.

       2. So he's the new Slowey?

    2. I think it should be considered no matter how Slowey and Gibson are doing- it can't be much worse that what we've seen here, can it?

       1. I think they could call up someone from the WGOM and get similar results, truth be told.

          1. a loss is a loss no matter how much you lose by

       2. Slowey went six innings tonight, so not an option.

36. Time to Jack a donger

    1. Nah gbs are just that much more fun.

       1. Fun? I remember fun. This isn't it.

37. well, I was all over that trivia question, fwiw. not sure I stick around to hear if I won.

38. Are you kidding me? Intentional walk down by 8 runs? Joe Poz is rolling over in his unyet made grave

39. I just turned on the radio to hear Dazzle say "Down 12-1."
    I'm going to slouch away, and watch to see if CJ comes in.

    1. Oop! Here he is! Go CJ! 2.2 innings tonight should make you a hero!

40. So, which position player should be called on to sponge this one up?

    1. Im thinking that Joe mauer needs to prove his manliness and ask for the ball.

       1. That would be epic, especially since he could catch for himself.

          1. Mauer can pitch when CJ is done, and CJ will go catch for him.

             1. C'mon, CJ is awesome, but he's not that awesome.

          2. His slugging pct would be pretty good for a pitcher, too.

41. I'm pretty sure Blackburn could have done this bad

42. Neck Fat fields his position like a wounded manatee.

43. One out! BTW, whosever run that was, Down by 12 in the fourth, with the bases full and one out, you'd better not complain about inherited runners scoring. (As i brush that dirt off CJ's shoulders for him.)

    1. *swoons*

    2. Doomtree returns the favor(s)

44. When a team gives up 3-runs an inning for three innings, you'd expect things would have to improve.

    1. Things did improve, for Texas. !!!+5!!!

45. I miss skinnier delmon. Somebody get him some spanks

46. 4 innings in 1 hr 40 min! Yikes.

47. Just saw a girl who was, at max, seventeen holding one of those aluminum Bud Light bottles.

    1. Relaxed drinking laws go into effect when rangers score 14 or more, and when the cowboys play.

48. I just want to say a big thank you to Verizon FiOS for screwing up the on-screen guide so I would record the wrong game. I know I said some bad things about you initially, FiOS, but I now realize you were just saving me from myself. That is all.

    1. I don't know about the tv side, but I sure wish Fios was available for internet here.

49. CJ, you can erase him with a DP. Don't let the Texas heat get to you. You're from Georgia anyways, so you should be kindof used to it.

50. Chuck James Alert!

51. BTW, if CJ does fall apart here, I want the Twins to tie the record, giving up runs in each inning. But First I want CJ to finish the 7th with a lower ERA than he has now.

    1. Ah piss. Doomsday.

52. Even though CJ has only retired two batters and it's the 5th, I feel as though he's gotten more outs than the other pitchers.

53. Honestly, though, is there a reason why Mauer's still in this game?

    1. No backup catcher then.

       1. Yeah, better to have Joe shred his knee in a blowout.

          1. Unfortunately, might already be past that point.

54. Ho. ly. Crap.

55. Chuck James wins if he gives up less than 3 runs.

56. Playing "Hit the Road, Jack" is a douchey thing to do when up by 15.

    1. It's kind of a douchy thing almost always.

57. You know it's bad when you are carrying 13 pitchers and the team's announcer is speculating that a position player might pitch and the game is only in the fourth inning. And it's been downhill from there.

58. Time to put James back into the freezer. Romeo should be warming up.

    1. That should read tomei

       1. Surely Cuddy is the position player to come in and pitch, right?

          1. Casilla...I hope.

          2. _elm_n is the one with flames tattooed on his throwing arm.

             1. I would love to see Delmon airmail a few fastballs from the pitching rubber.

          3. Really looking more for hilarity than anything else

             1. I was laughing at Romeo, though I had no idea who you/autocorrect really meant.

                1. Casilla is definitely the Romeo. Shouldn't have been so quick to anti autocorrect

          4. I want it to be Cuddy. Then only SS and C left for him to play.

             1. and why the hell can't he play those tonight, too?!

                1. How much would an NL team offer the Twins for a pitcher who can hit like Cuddy and can play 2B/3B/CF/wherever on his off days and even once a new pitcher comes in?
                   /But don't trade Cuddy.

                2. Yup, let's start moving Cuddy around the diamond tonight. Not that all the hits, runs and errors aren't entertaining, but yuck. Just yuck.

59. Holy shitballs, what the hell happened while I went to eat?! I'm glad I'm loaded with wine right now...

    1. when aren't you? (glad)

       1. I'm trying to think of a response, but...damn it, so much wine.

          1. Guess that'll have to do.

             1. Yeah. Also, akdsjhgfahdfgal

60. I love how Texas manged to incorporate jingoism into its run-scoring celebration.

61. Okay, I'll be back after I watch Top Gear.

62. In curling it's considered acceptable to forfeit when you're way, way behind. Gardy, do it.

    1. That's only a 9-0 score in the scorebook, too. Of course it's too late now -- this game's official.

63. Warning track Mauer. Crax

64. Now dick is on the 3 catchers thing. Boo on this game.

    1. Yep, down 18-1 is the time to worry about possibly losing the DH the rest of a single game.

       1. How can you expect to score 18 runs in four innings with a pitcher batting?
          Even if the pitcher is a position player.

65. Really? Having a pitcher hit would make things worse? Just tell him to go up there and watch three strikes. Take Mauer out.

66. Nice night for Jason Kipnis (of the Indians): walk-off single for his first MLB hit.

    1. I saw him make his debut in person last Friday. I happened to catch Ackley's debut this year mostly by accident, too. Apparently wherever I go, rookie second basemen follow. (I also learned that my fiancee's father played HS ball with Steve Stone.)

67. No AL team has ever scored more than one run in each inning in which its batted.
    TEX has a record available to it.

    1. If TEX can score more than TWO runs in each inning in which they've batted, they'll be setting the record so high in the stratosphere that no one should ever imagine meeting it possible.

       1. Doomsday throws a scoreless frame, and takes away any reason I have left to track this game. Goodnight unless a position player starts pitching.

68. Well, it appears that for me to get the cheap trivia win, it can't be just ANY blowout game, it's the non-mindnumbingly-death-inducing-crapfest blowouts only.

    1. Wait, I wasn't really listening, but scouring b-r.com. Did you win again, Daniel Carlson?

       1. nah, some other ya-ya

69. If Doomsday pitches more than one inning, and gives up fewer than two runs, I'll be happy for him, but I'm not changing my allegiance.
    #TeamCJ

70. This isn't real, right?

    1. Right. Go back to bed.

    2. Real as pain, baby.

       (Side bet: By week's end, the locals won't match the number of runs Texas eventually plates tonight.)

       1. You gotta give me odds to get me to bite on that.

          1. Even.

             You'll win a signed* copy of Joe Pos' Big Red Machine.

             *not signed by the author.

             1. Hee hee!

71. I was upset with Doomsday for the walk, then I saw that pitch 2 was an inside strike not a ball, and now I'm upset with the ump.

    1. The Twins should play the rest of the game under protest.

72. If Jason Hamilton can get subbed out this early in the game, so can Mauer, dammit.

    Also, it appears as though lineup ordering isn't going to play much of a role in the outcome of tonight's contest.

73. Normally I don't remind citizens to watch the videos of the day, but seriously, watch that video instead of this.

    1. Word.

       1. Another word.

    2. But not more than ten times.

       1. I'd be willing to pay a fine. It is that good.

74. AND HERE COME THE TWINS.

    1. and there they go...

75. 

76. dammit, that last ball was an outside strike -- CALL THOSE, ump!

77. Pavano better be ready to pitch 15 innings tomorrow and Wednesday.

78. Woo-hoo - more runs! [Tarantino gun-to-head.jpg]

79. I hate to be a downer but I don't think the Minnesota Twins are going to win this baseball game.

80. Mauer moves to first? Sheesh. He should have been out of the game already.

81. Twins with 3-fewer hits than the Rangers have XBHs

82. Dude! I wish 16+ more guys had been on base.

83. KUBES!

84. And it is a twenty to FOUR ballgame.

85. This is going to be an epic comeback.

    1. I'll enjoy burning up some bullpen arms.

86. Keep them runs coming!

87. Cuddyer scheduled to pitch the 8th. The Twins need to get him the win.

88. Here comes Cuddyer.

89. Cuddy is versatile as hell.

90. F*^&#)%^( I wish I could watch live.

91. Cuddy already looks better than Hoey.

92. Nice job helping Cuddy out guys.

93. This won't count against my in fantasy because I started him as a field player, right?

94. Someone make a cool banner!

    

95. Heh. Butera is coming out to talk to Cuddy.

96. It looks like Cuddy has one pitch with some crazy movement to it.

    1. He had that when he played third, too.

97. This could get ugly. er.

    1. Thank god Murphy was up to bat!

98. Cuddyer's got some Maddux-esque tail on his fastball.

    1. Yeah that thing was darting pretty good. The only really good wood on it was when it ended up in the middle of the plate.

99. Can Cuddy relieve more often?

100. I wish to the Spaghetti Monster that Gameday would have a live lookin right now.

     1. Just seeing him stand on the mound was worth the price of MLB.tv.

        1. Stupid [redacted] blackout.

101. If Cuddy was lefthanded they could demote Neck Fat.

102. I can't believe he got out of that with no runs scored.

103. We should trade Cuddy for RH reliever... himself.
     I had turned off the radio to watch some youtubes or something. I missed the first four batters.

     1. I will never turn off my radio again.

        1. Just keep the WGOM on in the background. We'll let you know of anything important.

104. Cuddy had to get 4 outs and he still got it done with no runs.

105. What lovely little urchins.

106. That was fun. Now, can we have Liriano pinch hit for him?

107. Great Moments in Gameday History

     

     1. Frickin 6.10.

        1. Even with that ERA Chuck James is still shorter than Neck Tat.

108. Cuddy gets a chance to help himself out. Maybe he'll avoid swinging at crap outside the zone, lest he know how it feels.

109. I'm glad it was Cuddy.
     And right now he'll have a chance to make the final out of the eighth and the ninth.

110. RBI for the P.

111. Well, at least it was a briskly paced 26 run, 38 hit, 7 error game.

     1. Yeah, all that in 3:20? Hard to believe.

112. The Twins won the game from the 6th inning on....

     1. socal, is that you?

113. Cuddy's Final Line: 1-4, 1 BB, 1 R, 1.0 IP, 0 ER, 0 R, 1 BB

     He's 2nd for the game in WPA (Batters) behind Kubel (.056 v. 0.19) and T-2 for pitchers with Burnett (.000 - Leaders James & Dumatrait .001)

114. So I guess the lesson here is that Cuddyer is our best reliever?

115. Thanks socal for the pinch hit. I picked a good.time to be off the grid.

116. mcuddy5: Obviously I hated the circumstances, but would be lying if I said that I didn't have fun on the mound tonight!

Comments are closed.