2011 Game 115: Red Sawks!!!! on ESPN!!!!

Tonight on the 4ltr, the Red Sawks play*, and the Yankmees don't!!!!111one111!!! How did that happen?

Anyway, there is some sort of milestone at stake (Tim Wakefield seeks career win 200, including many games NOT against the Yankmees).

In order to provide context for the milestone, there may or may not be another team on the field. However, it is rumored that two non-Sawks players that 4ltr viewers may have heard of, Joe Mauer and Jim Thome, may be mentioned. Mauer, because his iconic sideburns are two of the most notable features of flyover America, and Thome because he too is within striking distance of a milestone of sorts, even though it is likely to happen in obscurity unless it happens tonight.

Bring the snark, kids. That's what we are playing for.

*some guy named Booker or Barker or something is starting for the other team, in case anyone cares.

219 thoughts on “2011 Game 115: Red Sawks!!!! on ESPN!!!!”

          1. I assume I knew that at some point, what with me having used this for three years. Well, no harm done, except that I missed the first three Twins runs.

  1. Tim Wakefield is so old, he played with Barry Bonds when Bonds was a Pirate. And the Pirates went to the playoffs.

    1. I was going to try to follow that, but it's so good, it is essentially unfollowable. Well played, dw.

  2. Rick Sutcliffe doing all he can tonight to justify his place as worst baseball commentator at ESPN.

  3. so, is the rule "If your OPS is under 700, you may swing only at fastballs; otherwise, hope the knucklers miss"??? I'd go with that.

  4. That's the way, uh-huh u-huh I liiiike it.

    Just logged on to WGOM and the game and all is right with the world.

    For now.

    1. My wife saw the score and said: "they're not sucking now"

      I replied: "There's still a good deal of game yet."

  5. Another quick inning for Baker. Now, if he can just get through the sixth....

    (career OOPS in the 6th is -- GULP -- 887, compared to 683 over innings 1-3)

  6. Dick's saying he never watches games 3, 4 and 5 when he watches the 1987 World Series, and he wonders why any Twins fan would. What a tool. Part of the reason the last two games were so great is because they came on the heels of those losses. I'm over-thinking this, but it feels like he's saying when he watches The Godfather, he skips the stuff about Michael becoming the new Don.

    1. I can see skipping those games. Games 6 & 7 are just great knowing they were must-win without actually having to watch the losses. Besides, I've seen enough already this year.

            1. I'm expecting Capps to be a Red Sox next season. Theo seems to sign a lot of portly pitchers who I'd classify as "white trash."

  7. I'm Fat Tire-ing it tonight, as the Milkmaid's other purchase was Sam Adams Cherry Wheat (which, I'll admit, isn't as horrid as I was remembering).

      1. I only took one drink of it, and it was accidental (I could have sworn I'd picked up a Fat Tire). I didn't like it, but I think if it was the only option available, I'd be alright.

  8. Well, at least I got to watch the three Twins highlight vids on Gameday before the Sawks' explosion relegated them to the way, way bottom.

  9. That Kurkjian segment on Nishi was brutal but pretty accurate from what I've seen. If even his fellow teammates think he is AAA it's really hard to see him turn it around. Maybe Nishi can become Rochester's highest paid player.

    1. I liked the old guy in the front who stayed in his seat, kind of stone-faced until AFTER the catch, then handing him his hat.

    1. According to the script on his glove it's Mechanic. If you're Phil Dumatrait, you don't get a sweet nickname like that.

  10. I'm assuming Crawford was trying for a base hit on his bunt, there. Or he's really stupid. Maybe both.

      1. Hey- Capps and Danny V both did something good, on the same play. What's going on with this game?

    1. Happens all the time; make an error in the top of an inning, hit 3 homers in the bottom. But only if the guy is leading off the inning.

      1. I suppose there's no guarantee that the 200th win won't come against the Twins. It just won't today. Those danged knucklers...maybe he'll be at 201 by the end of this series.

  11. Top of the lineup for the Sox.

    Hold 'em and there's a fair chance of winning.

    But hold them dammit.

    1. Hold 'em and there's a fair chance of winning.

      You expect a lot from the Twins bullpen and their offense.

  12. Three hits this inning, and Gameday describes all of them as "soft". Just call it the Charmin offense.

        1. #1 would be worth tossing the rest of this season. There's gotta be a toolsy high-school outfielder out there for the Twins to take at the top of the draft.

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