Weather: 61 degrees, drizzle
Wind: 12 mph, L to R
Time: 2:52 (:27 delay)
Attendance: 36,807

Box Score
Fangraphs

By the banks of the mighty Cuyahoga River (Non-flammable for Half a Century!™), the good people of Cleveland paid tribute tonight to Jim Thome. The Gentleman Masher rose to the occasion with a home run, a double, and an infield single, driving in half of the Tribe's runs for the night. I'm going to miss that guy. Oh, hell - I miss him already.

Like many games this season, the Twins could just as easily have won this one had they been able to coax a clutch hit with men in scoring position. The Twins left a team total of 11 runners on base, and left runners in scoring position in seven innings.

Despite that brain-rattling level of offensive impotence, the Twins managed to score five runs off Cleveland, four of them off starter Justin Masterson, who struggled with his command and didn't make it out of the fifth inning.

Chris Parmelee earned his coffee tonight by leading off the Twins' scoring in the top of the first, driving in Ben Revere and Trevor Plouffe! with a roller up the middle that made it to the grass just in time. In his next at bat leading off the third inning, Parmelee jacked one into the right field seats and took a 360-foot stroll. Joe Benson added to the Twins' tally with a productive out, scoring Dinkleman on what would have been a double play if not for a throwing error by pivot man Jason Kipnis.

With the game tied 5-5 going to the home half of the ninth inning, Twins skipper Ron Gardenhire sent seven-million dollar man Matthew Dicus Capps to the mound to extend the game. Instead, he extended an invitation to mash a tater to pinch hitter Carlos Santana, who deposited said tuber over the fence in right center. Meanwhile, in the District of Columbia, young Wilson "League Minimum" Ramos has played in 109 games and booked 420 plate appearances. He's batting .267 with a 112 OPS+. Drew Butera is not.