All-Star Game 2012 – Kauffman Stadium, KC


  • Neither starter gets a quality start, but one of them is declared the winner.
  • Baby Jeebus -- two walks. Hey, he's a machine!
  • A Tigers error. Nah, that's too easy.
  • Joe Nathan -- one baserunner, no runs, and no camera time as FOX spends his half inning on an interview with [best guess: Seligula]
  • Countless inane comments by the announcers. Again, too easy.
  • KEY PHRASE OF THE GAME: "And how about those Pirates?!"


137 thoughts on “All-Star Game 2012 – Kauffman Stadium, KC”

  1. I already won the over on the length on the national anthem. He even fooled the flyover guys.

    1. Maybe, someday people will hit three minutes and that will be the norm. We've already butchered it this badly, why not more!

    1. Brian McKnight (born June 5, 1969) is an American singer-songwriter, arranger, producer, and R&B musician. He is a multi-instrumentalist who plays eight instruments including piano, guitar, bass guitar, percussion, trombone, tuba, flugelhorn and trumpet.[1] McKnight is perhaps most recognized for his strong falsetto range, and is widely regarded as one of the strongest talents in the adult urban contemporary R&B genre, although his recent efforts have received mixed reviews.
      McKnight's work has earned him 16 Grammy Awards nominations, but currently holds the record for having won none.


    1. I would follow Ichiro through the gates of Hell.

      I wouldn't even give Chipper a ride to 7Eleven.

  2. These are the saddest of possible words:
    “Jeter to Fielder has no chance.”
    Trio of ball scubs, and no fleeter than birds,
    Jeter to Fielder has no chance.
    Ruthlessly pricking our gonfalon bubble,
    Making an NL All-Star teams hits into doubles –
    Words that are heavy with nothing but trouble:
    “Jeter to Fielder has no chance.”

  3. "One of the best hitters in the league".

    Really McCarver? I never would have guessed the All-Star game would have one. Or 20.

  4. Hey, guys, just got home from work. Out of essentially nowhere, I'm looking at a likely promotion. Things are good.

    So how's the game going? Gotta be awesome, right????????

      1. There's nobody in my store on the level of the two people the Milkmaid deals with, as far as I can tell.

        Plus, it would seem the entire management group is high on me and wants me to move up. It couldn't be blocked without a ton of effort.

        That said, I'm not writing it off.

  5. At least we don't have to worry about the Twins getting screwed out of home field advantage in the World Series just because of the crappy performance of the AL AS team.

  6. Hmm...I can't decide if I like the fact that they're wearing their own uniforms, or if I miss the dog-ugly American and National jerseys they come up with year after year.

    1. Spooky, they'venever worn the AL/NL jerseys for the game: those are BP jerseys. Also used for the HR Derby.

      1. Don't lie to me. Seriously? They didn't wear them last year? And most years?

        I never miss the game. Am I always high when it's on? Seems unlikely, since I haven't been high in over a decade, but here we are.

        1. I don't think you've been high, I think you've watched too much coverage of the whole week and gotten HR Derby coverage and warmups mixed with the actual game.

  7. Ok, seriously, was the AL starting lineup made of entirely guys who are 4th in the AL at something?

  8. players should be allowed to take their phones on the field and be allowed to tweet when they are on defense

  9. Get home from the airport and turn on the game? Or get home from the airport and mow the lawn? I chose wisely.

    Looking at the score, is it possible that Twins pitchers were chosen as injury replacements and I didn't hear about it?

    1. You have a lawn that is mowable? A couple more weeks of drought and I'm gonna be the proud owner of an acre of dirt.

      1. i've had a lawn to mow for the first time in almost 15 years and i have no problem with the lack of grass growth. of course, that wouldn't surprise my neighbors as we're now deep in the suburbs and i'm the one with weeds for about 6 houses.

  10. "No Church in the Wild" is the best song off the Kanye/JayZ album.
    /I haven't seen commercials in months.

  11. Weird that Jeter cut off the throw from Hamilton and didn't bother with Harper advancing to second.

  12. looking for positives....Joe Buck is kind of tolerable tonight (on the other hand, Tim McCarver needs to hand in his mic)

    1. At least they explained why the Royals' fans were booing Cano the whole time last night. Berman and Kruk were convinced it was because the Yankees were awesome, rather than a failure to pick Butler for the Home Run Derby.

      1. I don't understand why Selig or one of his minions could have called Cano and said, so it's you, Butler, and who else from the AL?

        Pos had a good line in his column: it shouldn't be a rule just as it shouldn't be a rule that you invite the bride's family to the wedding.

    2. I think McCarver has gotten even worse, and it's just that Buck seems tolerable by comparison. The theory of relativitye broadcasting.

    1. I have zero idea who that was, but that's pretty much how I feel regardless who is singing that song.

    2. I almost panicked when I couldn't find the remote, but I was able to mute it with plenty of time to go.

  13. Fox broadcast features a former American Idol contestant to sing during an athletic performance?

    Has she had work done to her face?

  14. I've missed most of the game due to all four waking up or getting out of bed or screaming from bed at various times. has Cano batted yet? Was he well received?

  15. My theory is that Mauer doesn't want to play, and came to an agreement w/ Ron Washington on the plane. We all know that Mauer tries to sit every chance he can get.

  16. i finally saw my whateverth mention of the song in the past few days, so i listened to the first 30 second of that "call me maybe" song. is that where that stupid "i just met you, and this is crazy" meme came from? so glad i don't listen to the radio.

      1. Same here. I just saw the Andre Dawson? State Farm commercial for the first time. That was solid.

  17. mccarver is complaining that rodney's hat angle could be confusing to hitters. yyyyyup.

  18. I just complained about Buck and McCarver. I said "can you imagine a worse announcer than Buck or McCarver?" Philosofette was all over that one with "Hawk Harrelson." I love her.

    1. You must be less used to them than I am. Every day I battle with thick dialects and Panda didn't stymie me all that much. A few years ago, though...possibly.

      1. i'm guessing, based on locale, you might have more experience with latin-based language accents than i do. my base is mainly east asian, south asian, and eastern block.

  19. news preview immediately after post-game interview: 2 girls shot in a park and another child hit by a semi. awesome, chicago.

  20. The American League team obviously needed more Twins players. I guess we'll just have to settle for not having home field advantage in the World Series!

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