2012 Game 100: Pre-Columbian Americans @ Twins

First Pitch - 6:10 p.m. CDT
Television: FSN
Lineups

Gentlemen, tonight we hit the century mark for the 2012 season. If you adhere to the aged adage that every team wins 50 games and loses 50 games (a truism that is paradoxically a fallacy) and it's what you do with the other 62 games that matters, the Twins have 63 games left to start mattering and they're several games in the hole. I for one am not optimistic of much more than a fourth place finish, but teams as far back as the Twins at this point have gone on to contend in the closing days (this may or may not be a true statement, but it feels comforting to say it). Besides, lately I've been trying to avert my gaze from the darkness and focus on the brighter side of things, even if it's in retrospect. To that end I am quite pleased with the season that Scott Diamond is having. When the Man of Adamant is on the mound, I find myself really looking forward to watching that particular Twins game. Likewise I've been pleased to see Liriano's pirouette (noun: 2. Dressage - a complete turn in which the horse uses its hind legs as a pivot) from the horrible start he had this season, even if he dropped an odiferous steamer in his last start. In April and May I was ready to jettison him and the horse he rode in on for peanuts and the vendor tossing them to the crowd. At least the vendor could hit his spots and didn't try to overpower every toss. Offensively, Amenable Hog Shank has been my favorite addition to this team in quite some time, so much so that I barely miss... I barely miss... oh, hell, who was that guy out in right field last year? Used to do card tricks in the dugout, guessed wrong a lot at the plate. Well, no matter. Just eyeballing the numbers it looks like Willingham is on pace to hit 42 homers this year, and we haven't seen a Twins player do that since Harmon Killebrew. I long ago adopted Jamey Carroll as my new baseball boyfriend, based mostly on his gritty veteran-ness, defensive versatility, and occassional clutch hitting. Alexi Casilla has shown marked improvement with the leather, though he's still basically Luis Rivas at the plate, and after a stern lecture from yours truly Trevor Plouffe! blossomed into a big league hitter as suddenly and beautifully as a desert flower after the rain. Sadly, he's been placed on the 15-day DL with a sore thumb and Danny Valencia's been called up to fill his roster spot (God help the left side of the infield). So sure, we kind of suck, but we suck less than last year and mediocre Twins baseball is infinitely superior to the Twins baseball we get between November and March. But if you'd rather watch dancing horses and ping pong, by all means tune in the Olympics instead.

On The Hill:
Justin Masterson: 7-8, 4.12 ERA, 3.82 FIP, 4.01 xFIP, 2.2 WAR, .299 BABIP
Sam Deduno: 1-0, 3.94 ERA, 6.07 FIP, 4.56 xFIP, -0.1 WAR, .326 BABIP

Sammy notched his first Major League win in his last start agains KC, allowing just one run in six and two-thirds. Masterson's not had much luck against the Twins, he's just 1-5 in 11 starts against the local nine and lost his one start ag'in' the Gemini this season. A repeat of last night's offensive explosion would be nice.

Play ball!

235 thoughts on “2012 Game 100: Pre-Columbian Americans @ Twins”

    1. He's apparently been a bit unlucky, just a 3.61 ERA vs. the Twins so it looks like he hasn't had great run support.

  1. Royals lost. Twins can be out of last place with a win tonight for the first time in a long time. Actually, they're out of last place right now, but I would like to keep it that way.

    1. what the heck has happened to the Royals? they were respectable for the first couple months of the season.

      1. Heh. Perhaps so. Love the song, though. These guys were a big part of the soundtrack to my college years.

  2. So the Twins once again let somebody go DTD for about a week and then put him on the 15 day DL. I feel like our training staff is not very good at being decisive.

    1. I feel like our training staff is not very good at being decisive.

      (With just a bit of editing, I made this statement hew closer to the truth.)

      1. Right. The fact that they can't tell when somebody needs to go on the DL is probably an indication that they don't know what they're doing. It should happen from time to time, but it seems like the rule more than the exception with the Twins.

        1. Happens time and time again. It's kind of become their M.O.

          As night is to day, so is the Twins training staff to their Phoenix Suns counterpart.

        2. I was telling my wife just the other day that if I were made GM tomorrow, my first move would be to replace the entire training and medical staff. You have to be able to get maximum return on your current assets by keeping them on the production line, and we just don't seem to get that with our current staff.

      1. Yeah, but if Plouffe hadn't pulled himself out of the lineup after batting practice last night, we'd really be complaining about the trainers.

  3. Did Dick just say Willingham will probably settle in at 35 home runs this season? He must have failed algebra.

      1. as long as the Twins jack a couple of homers and win, it would be a minor thrill

  4. Had a great walk at Elm Creek tonight, not quite two miles in 40 minutes. Can't wait until the hitch is totally out of my giddy-up.

    1. Me too, dammit. And now I have to go look at art (friend's opening tonight.)

      They better not trade this guy.

      1. Better for him to have hammered and have us miss it than to not hammer at all.

      1. Butter, spices, Worcester, garlic, lemon, simmer. No actual BBQ used. Check the thread for yesterday for a longer version of the same.

        1. My parents like to broil shrimp in butter, garlic and spices (lots of rosemary, a bit of chile, etc.). V. easy, and makes for great sopping with crusty bread.

          1. Twayn, you could cut the butter with extra virgin olive oil and still get a great product.

  5. oh great, not only are there circle me Bert signs, there are circle me Bert songs.

    1. “The world absolutely needs Woo Girls. If there were no Woo Girls, there would be no Girls Gone Wild, no bachelorette parties, no Las Vegas poolside bars … the souvenir shot-glass industry would collapse, so would the body glitter industry and the stretch Hummer rental industry. Tiny cowboy hats would be worn only by tiny cowboys. And when ‘Brown-Eyed Girl’ would come up on the jukebox, all you would hear would be silence.....and 'Brown-Eyed Girl'"

      ~ Barney Stintson, 'How I Met Your Mother'

  6. The Natives pxp dudes are getting restless as a result of that call.

          1. We are talking about Valencia reaching on an error right? Just want to make sure we aren't talking about different umpire calls.

            I saw the first baseman keep his foot on the bag and dirt between Valencia's feet and the bag.

            1. Okay, never mind. I was dazed and confused and a little distracted. It was daylight between V's foot and bag.

      1. Oh yeah! Remember how we used to blame Casilla for everything? We should probably start doing that again.

        1. I've always wanted to start a thing. You know, other than the one I started at your site.

            1. Talking about "that thing" and "flying" just opens the door for all sorts of jokes that I'm not going to make.

  7. Kicked my keg tonight. All I have left is this and this. Mrs. Buffalo is not going to be happy when she gets home.

    1. I have one of these in the fridge waiting for a special occasion, but I'm just drinking a SN Pale tonight.

      1. That is La Terrible. I forgot I still have this in the fridge. Which just looks terrible.

        1. I have it on good authority that it makes a pretty flower vase. The contents, however, are said to be a little...different.

            1. because nobody ever buys a second?

              that said, I both do and don't want to try it.

                  1. There is a lot of maple in this. Wow. I am getting a pretty smoky finish in my nose, too. I can safely say I have never had a beer like this before.

                    1. There is a liquid smoke nose to it. As for an actual bacon taste, not really.

                    2. I will be back in a couple of minutes. I have to grab toothbrush and toothpaste and brush my nose.

  8. Joey Belle's 1995 season (50 HR's 52 doubles) was pretty awesome, and he didnt play a full season because it was a shortened season.

    Somehow, Mo Vaughan won the AL MVP that year

    1. If you look back through the MVP voting, there are several really bad ones. Hopefully, the era of giving them to mediocre relief pitchers is over.

  9. If you are playing the drinking game were you drink every time Bert says 'drop the barrel of the bat', you are two sheets to the wind.

  10. so, Dazz knows where to get a Jucy Lucy. But his partner doesn't really know what one is.

  11. Oh, I really wish that we would get to see this Casilla more often instead of the regular version.

      1. that I knew. Didn't hear that Danny V callup. Figured they would just bring up another middle reliever or catcher.

      1. there was a game log?

        dude, you are MONDAY! You expect us to read your stuff on a saturday without even a single picture of a deconstructed truck?

          1. Paragraph breaks are for pussies like Hemingway and... wait, I did have paragraph breaks!

    1. I'm making adovada chicken burritos with black beans and red/green sauces (wet burritos). The green sauce is a tomatillo-avocado sauce, the red my homemade chile colorado. Chicken was marinated all day in the chile sauce, then dumped (with sauce) into the crock pot.

        1. can do. I won't have a full set of pictures, unfortunately. But I will illustrate.

          This game isn't over yet???

  12. I take it all back. I don't want the Twins to trade anyone. Go all in this year.

  13. Wow. I go to do some errands and the Twins score nine runs. Fortunately, I had my XM with me so I could listen to most of it. That was fun.

  14. The Twins have scored 2,3, and 5 runs in the last 3 innings. That means they'll score 7 next inning, if they're counting by primes, or 8 if they're counting by Fibonacci numbers.

    1. I know that one well. I had a hopitulas, a self righteous, and some foreign beer plus a delicious burger at the avenue pub. Yeah, today was a good day.

  15. Deduno kind of reminds me of LaTroy Hawkins, except of course for pitching awesomeness in consecutive starts.

          1. He is, however, willing to let them use his likeness for a Hamburglar-type Mr. Banana Grabber character.

    1. They're going to be surprised to learn that means stints on the 60-day DL instead of the 15-day DL.

    1. Nice. Now check to see if a team has ever come from 13 games behind at the end of July to contend for a division title in the last week of the season. I'm almost sure it's happened, but I am too lazy debilitated to look it up.

  16. Quick, when was the last time the Twins scored 11+ runs on back-to-back nights?

    1. Rk Strk Start End Games W L AB R H 2B 3B HR RBI SO BB SB CS BA OBP SLG OPS Opp
      1 MIN 2010-07-26 2010-07-27 2 2 0 86 30 39 13 2 3 30 15 10 0 2 .453 .510 .756 1.266 KCR
      2 MIN 2009-05-21 2009-05-22 2 2 0 80 31 32 5 2 6 29 10 9 1 0 .400 .457 .738 1.194 CHWMIL
      3 MIN 2008-09-13 2008-09-13 2 2 0 78 24 27 5 2 3 24 10 13 2 1 .346 .452 .577 1.029 BAL
      4 MIN 2007-07-06 2007-07-06 2 2 0 87 32 36 6 0 8 32 8 15 0 0 .414 .490 .759 1.249 CHW
      5 MIN 2006-08-05 2006-08-06 2 2 0 79 25 34 7 2 2 25 7 16 0 1 .430 .530 .646 1.176 KCR
      6 MIN 2002-05-16 2002-05-17 2 1 1 103 26 38 8 0 5 26 18 9 4 0 .369 .412 .592 1.005 KCRNYY
        1. No. He asked for last, so I limited it to 2000-2012 to make the query quicker. It first happened in 1923; 1962 for the Minnesota version.

        2. Here's the franchise history of two-plus:

          Spoiler SelectShow
    1. Really. Man, you go to Chicago for a week and then have a heart attack and you miss out on all kinds of stuff.

      1. you go to Chicago for a week and then have a heart attack

        causal link? You make the call.

    2. And his fastball moves on three planes, unlike Slama's two-dimensional variety. Now if Perdomo could just throw the damn thing through the strike zone.

      1. I'm working on developing a 4-dimensional fastball in my free time. It's going pretty well.

  17. We let Lillibridge get a hit? That's like letting Casilla get two extra base hits.

  18. Into fourth place! Third place is next! Who needs Liriano? We're on track for 104-58!

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