I've been going at this all wrong.
All this time, I thought the Twins hated me, a loyal fan. Lately, though, I've been seeing things differently.
* Crisp fall afternoons are great times for walks and the like, so the Twins made sure that their fans were able to go about their business without having to worry about pesky pennant chases, like that attention starved team from Cleveland.
* The Rays selfishly play an 18 inning game, just so that their playoff hopes remain alive, giving their fans insomnia. The Twins know that their fans' sleep is important, so when they start a game late, they make sure they lose quickly, so as to give their fans a chance at an earlier bedtime.
* Weekend afternoons are to be savored, so when the A's send a perfectly serviceable pitcher like Jarrod Parker to the mound, the Twins send Pedro Hernandez, so you know you probably don't even have to start watching. "You've had a long week", the Twins says, "why don't you go play some video games? I'll be fine." Don't mind if I do, Twins... don't mind if I do.
The Twins really do love us, and they're proving it by letting us go.