Cup of Coffee

June 8, 2018: Recluse

43 Comments

Years ago I had this nagging desire to shut myself in my house and never leave. For whatever reason, over the past few months, those desires have returned. I assume this is just the midlife crisis I thought would pass me over, but all the same, it sucks.

43 thoughts on “June 8, 2018: Recluse”

      2. Breaks my heart. He was a culinary icon, and a wonderful story teller too. I have to stay off the book of face today, as already I have stumbled into multiple idiots saying he deserved to die because he said bad things about Trump.

      2. Starting last summer with my high school classmate Jesse Bartholmey, I’ve certainly heard of more suicides in this past year than I had in a long time, whether famous, people I knew or friends of friends. I know copycat suicides are a thing but the dramatic rise in numbers is overwhelming.

        1. The rise is hard to explain. Some of it is aging and lack of strong social ties with many older, rural adults (particularly men).

          Suicide deaths are more strongly a male thing, but suicide attempts lean strongly female.

            1. I’m not the subject matter expert, but this is something my agency has been heavily involved in up here. Some of our most significant accomplishments in the past few years have been associated with developing dynamic collaborative relationships with multiple providers and stakeholders in the area of ending homelessness. Ending all homelessness may not be achievable, but ‘functional zero’ on our homeless Veterans registry - i.e., housing solutions for more Veterans from the list than are replaced by newly-identified Veterans. Seems to be that stable housing and solid case management make positively addressing substance abuse and mental health concerns much more likely ... employment can happen and, perhaps, suicide becomes less of an ‘option’.
              Estimates for MN are approximately 100 Veterans commit suicide each year, across the state and across a wide range of age groups, though Vietnam Era Veterans are generally more represented than recent conflict Veterans (they make up the largest share of the overall Veteran population as well).

              1. Yep and yep. Rough estimate for LA County is on the order of 100-120 veteran deaths by suicide per year.

    3. I really appreciated Bob Collins take on this. You can see it on Twitter or on MPR probably

          1. Ah yeah crap both are these days I guess, the gist is people in crisis aren't likely to call or ask for help.

            Personally I think that is a sentiment that should be accepted for a wide range of issues, but it was nice to see a few people I respect say it.

      1. Agreed, and it feels so much like him. Reading through it, I couldn't help but hear his voice saying it.

      2. Oh man, that was such a good read.

        I'm taking this much harder than I would have expected. Feelings are the worst.

      1. Also a great read. Man, the feelings.

        On a serious note, you described yourself as an angry, sensitive young person, and that was me to a T. I believe that is why Anthony Bourdain's voice resonates with me.

        1. Yes, that’’s the case for me, too. I think Bourdain’s sardonic voice circa Kitchen Confidential was exactly pitched at a frequency I could receive. I’m thankful I had the chance to grow beyond that person, but also thankful I heard him when I did.

          Whatever the level of toxicity of his brand of masculinity was at the time (and he certainly was clear he didn’t like his past behavior) he exhibited a desire to better his view of the world, and I’m glad some of that rubbed off on me over the years. I think he was a good model, not because of who he was in 2000, but because of who he continued to become in all the years that followed. That’s a lesson I’m going to spend some time with.

          Hang in there, meat.

      3. Thank you for both putting it down, and then sharing it out. Well said.

  5. Yesterday I took the wife's minivan in to get a slow tire leak fixed. While I was there, I told them to do an alignment. Unfortunately, they found a broken sway bar link on the passenger side and wanted more than $300 to replace the pair, that's a 200% markup on the parts over retail and about $120/hour for labor. So I decided to save some money and do it myself. Now I'm about $50 in on parts and another $30 for hacksaw blades for the reciprocating saw. The problem, of course, is rust and corrosion and the fact that I'm trying to turn a nut on a ball and socket joint with no counter force on the stud, which has an Allen wrench inset but is virtually worthless, I quit trying after bending a long 5mm Allen wrench about 40 degrees. I'm heading out to finish the job now and hope to get it done before the rain falls since I already have two disabled vehicles in the garage and have to work on this on in the driveway.

    1. So, total time to remove broken, rusty, corroded piece of shit stabilizer bar link was about 2 hours. That's just the work time, it doesn't include the three trips to the auto parts and hardware stores. I used up two hacksaw blades for the reciprocating saw - front end parts has some hard steel in them. I could have probably cut the removal time in half if I had a hoist, it was hard to maneuver the saw around in the wheel well without hitting something that shouldn't get cut, like brake lines and hoses and rubber boots and such, so I took my time and worked very carefully. Total time to install new stabilizer bar link? About 2 minutes, literally. Insert two studs through two holes and secure with two 18mm nuts. Next on the agenda is jacking up Younger Daughter's bashed in front end to see how much the damage is going to run. I know from a cursory glance it's going to need a whole new strut assembly, tie rod and and stabilizer link. Once I know what my costs are going to be I can decide whether to save it or sell it.

  6. The most annoying thing about United Methodist Annual Conference is that there is so much wasted time. We take four days to do what could easily be done in a day and a half. The conference hasn't been as bad as it might have been, but I am more than ready to go home. In the words of the old country song, I've enjoyed as much of this as I can stand.

    2. Oy. I really hope this is not the start of a long, slow, downward career spiral for him, he's the only unicorn I've ever seen.

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