44 thoughts on “February 14, 2019: Dedicated To The One I Love”

  1. Dad update: He seems to be doing a little better. He's a long way from out of the woods, but things seem to be headed in the right direction for now. Continued prayers are appreciated.

    "1969 Rewind" will take a break for a few days. Consider it a series of rainouts. I hope to resume the series early next week. The birthday list will continue with reprints for a few more days.

      1. Not direct. He and Mom live in a nursing home in Armour, which is about two hundred miles from where I live. But I'm the one with power of attorney (both business and health care), so I'm the one who pays the bills and arranges their care. I'm also the main one who visits, makes sure things are going okay, gets them some "extras" to make them more comfortable, etc.

        We'll be dividing our time between the parish and Armour for a while. Fortunately, the people of our parish are very good and understanding about things like this. It's probably more frustrating for me than it is for them--I want to stay involved in things in our communities, and right now I just can't. But it's only for a while.

        1. I might add that one of the things I did this week was sign a Do Not Resuscitate order for Dad. I talked to Mom and my brothers about it, and we all agreed it was the right thing to do. I'm not having second thoughts about it. Still, it's a thing to be the one who actually signs the paper that says it's okay to let Dad go if/when it comes to that.

          1. These are tough decisions, jeff. I'm thinking about figuring out how to make some of those choices now to save other folks from having to make them.

            1. I'm reading "Being Mortal" right now, and this comes up a lot.

              I need to go to Dad when I'm done and say "Read this, then we need to talk", but whoooo boy that doesn't sound easy or fun at all.

              1. It's not easy, but I hope you can make it happen. With my dad, especially in recent years, if he didn't want to talk about something, he just wouldn't. No matter what you said, he'd just remain silent. If that didn't work, he'd change the subject and talk about something else. I guess we all have subjects that we find it very painful to talk about, but it's usually better if you can force yourself to talk about them anyway.

          2. Yeah, that's very hard. And it's a very compassionate thing to do. CPR is a brutal procedure and the older you are, the less of a guarantee you won't be more miserable if you survive it.

            1. When my grandpa had his heart attack, my grandma had the clarity of mind to inform the paramedics of his DNR order when they arrived on scene. She said it was incredibly hard, but they had talked about it at length and knew where the both of them stood on the issue, so she had no doubt that everything happened the way he wanted it to. So yeah, communication is key.

            2. No kidding on the "very hard" part.

              I'm not a believer; hence, I'm of the opinion that when you are done, you are done. That puts a certain spin on approaches to end-of-life decision-making. How do you weigh the costs of intervention against the permanency of death? (and, in my honest moments, I have doubts about my confidence in these views, just as people of faith often have moments of doubt)

              Those who believe in the afterlife are in a different institutional position. How do you morally justify prolonging life at high cost (pain and suffering in the here and now) against the promise of the ever-lasting?

              I don't say that to try to start a fight about theology, but rather to just comment that those of us put into the position of responsibility vis-a-vis our loved ones when they can no longer speak (clearly) for themselves face really hard choices. Add to that the extreme difficulty of extracting our selfish motivations (be it "I want more time with this person no matter what" or "I am so tired and want my life back" or whatever)....

              My older brother (currently) is the Designated Survivor for my parents when they reach an age of incompetence. I don't envy that role, even as I frankly worry about his capacity to act in their best interests.

              1. I think a lot of people look at it the wrong way. (Not saying you.) Whatever your beliefs, the inevitable will happen. Prolonging life at all costs doesn't make sense.

                1. Oh, I agree. In the abstract.

                  But the calculus is not obvious. Example: how many of us in our arrogant youths would have said that we would not want to "live that way", referring to being a quadriplegic or having some other severe disability? Versus those actually IN that situation?

                  I don't say that so much as to criticize the arrogance of youth (ok, a bit) as to say that what is "worth it" is very, very personal and hard to predict.

                  1. True. It's one thing to think you know what you would want in a situation you're not in. It's another to actually be in the situation. And of course, once you're in the situation, you're sometimes no longer able to say what you want.

                    What made it harder in my dad's situation is that he has said he wanted full code status. We're of the opinion that he did not fully comprehend what that meant, that it could include being kept alive in a vegetative state or in a state of pain. When we would try to talk about those things with him, he would simply go silent and refuse to engage (see above response to MagUidhir). Again, I'm not having second thoughts--I'm confident we've made the right decision. And it's helpful that the family is in agreement on it. But it's still hard to be the one who has to put his signature on the paper.

                    1. This whole topic is fascinating to me. I help people plan for this sort of thing in my practice sometimes, and folks come to all sorts of different conclusions.

                      I'm especially fascinated by BS's thoughts on how belief and lack of belief shape the decision, because as a believer I'm of essentially the opposite mind. I think that part of the purpose of this life is to squeeze every last bit of experience out of it - pleasure, pain, joy, sorrow, etc. - and so, promised glorious afterlife or not, I'm on board with the costs of keeping myself going.

                      Of course, that's how I feel now. Maybe I'll feel different when I'm in a different part of my life.

  2. First Valentines Day since 1987 that I'm not married or dating someone. Guess I'll be like Jeremy Messersmith tonight.

        1. I wouldn't say he's "flamed out". To me that indicates that he'll never be anything and it's time to give up on him. He didn't have a good year last year, and he certainly doesn't look ready now, but I'm not ready to give up on him just yet.

        2. Too early to say that. He certainly was bad at AAA, but it was his first time there and hasn't had a full season in AAA yet. He also was the youngest player for Rochester last year.

      1. From Jeff Passan:

        Outfielder Max Kepler and the Minnesota Twins are in agreement on a five-year, $35 million deal with a sixth-year option, a league source tells ESPN. The option is for $10 million and includes a $1 million buyout.

      1. MLBTR has this:

        Polanco has nearly the same service time that a pre-breakout Jose Ramirez had with the Indians when he signed a five-year deal worth a guaranteed $26MM (plus two options). Ramirez, to that point in his career, was a .275/.331/.404 hitter — numbers that closely resemble Polanco’s own .272/.329/.420 line.

        Seems unlikely that Polanco is going to bust out like Ramírez. He signed his contract two years ago, after his 2016 season when he hit 312/.363/.462. I think it's a mistake to only compare their career numbers because Ramírez was coming off a career best 4.1 rWAR season. Polanco's best year was 2017 though his rate numbers in 2018 were better, 288/.345/.427, but still fell short of Ramírez's 2016.

        So, either Ramírez got a good deal and Polanco is overpaid or Cleveland got really lucky with Ramírez (probably) and Polanco's contract is fairer.

  3. Anyone here been to surly fest? I’m thinking of hitting up mn for the fair this year and could see myself coming in early to go to surly fest.

    1. It's pretty good. The set up they have for shows is really good. Lots of space, no conflict with bathroom, beer, food lines and concert watchers. Plenty of each. Take light rail as not a lot of parking.

      1. I can assure you the dude-bro ratio at Surlyfest is no worse than wandering around NOLA.

        1. Just as I saw this on the sidebar the full time AirBnB next door exploded with dude bros. I'm thinking that I may try to get tickets.

  4. We've got our third major rainstorm of the season today. They call it an atmospheric river. The college near us has a weather station that you can follow online. We've had nearly 3 inches of rain in a little more than 12 hours.

  5. So I posted a dramatic furnace-out situ yesterday. Today I'm finishing up work calls around 5EST and I notice that I'm feeling rather cold (yeah, I'm in shorts, but hey). So I check the thermostat and it's 66 clicks! (had it set for 75F).

    I called the team at Scandia Plumbing and Heating, and they dispatched a dude right away. He basically said the same thing happened as yesterday (stuff got sucked into the pressure-air-suck-hole, and it triggered a sensor) - cleaned it all out - I heard the vaccuum in action. No charge to this boyo and house hot again.

    I need to get a 1) house Wifi solution (today I use my cell phone's HotSpot to work remotely), and 2) a thermo-alarm deal that sends alarms when the Thermo is not what it should be. Anyone have recommendations to either?

    1. We have an Ecobee thermostat that can message us in a number of settings (temperature, humidity, etc). If you don’t want a whole new thermostat, my wife (the one who set this all up in our house) says there are other companies that make monitors like that for temp, water detection, humidity, etc., though I have no experience with any of them.

    2. I can answer the Wi-Fi question. You want something called "mesh-networking". If you have the ability, hard-wired access points (APs) are the best but it's hard for someone to do on their own. Instead, mesh-networking APs provide a middle ground. I personally don't use them, but I've heard good things about Eero while Wirecutter likes Netgear's Orbi.

      The reason this is important is because in order to get the best Wi-Fi experience, you want one AP per room with their broadcast power turned down as much as possible. I'm not rich enough for that so instead I have three APs: one each in my office, master bedroom, and living room. Not coincidentally, those are the three spots where Wi-Fi is used the most.

      Wi-Fi works like chatting with someone. It's only the two of you so conversation flows without major interruptions. Adding a third person talking about something completely different means collisions will happen and the two of you have to share with the third person (the AP). Computers are stupidly fast and Wi-Fi is designed around this so if the two devices and AP are in the same room, everyone has a good signal and it's still fine. However, if you're in the same room as the AP while NBBW is as far away as possible, the AP will talk to both of you at the speed where NBBW will get a good signal. Even if it can communicate with you faster, the AP can't switch speeds for that. Generally things are okay because most activities on the internet are insensitive to latency and you don't notice loading the WGOM taking an extra half second. But, if both of you are streaming video, you are more likely to notice problems such as the video's quality shifting or bufferinf. This is why having multiple APs is beneficial. Spread them around the house to account for usage patterns and now each of you have your own AP* and can communicate quickly with it.

      * Lots of hand-waving here about how internet access makes it to all of the APs, but it tends to work out well.

      1. So in talking with my Sconnie buddy, he has me leaning towards a less high-tech approach. He uses a solution that hooks into your land-line, and will call your programmed phone number should the temperature go below your designated thresdhold. So if the most likely down-furnace use-case is power outage, the land line still has power - WiFi would not (unless it has a battery-backup).

        1. My dad has one of those for the house Up North. Has zone sensors that talk to the base unit, so those must be powered separately.

          1. Just ordered this, and sent to the Hnos in Minny to install.

            Back in H'istan after aborted ski-camp 2-weeks in Scandia, after developing a lower-left-lung infection. Might have been the cold temps, shoveling my driveway cause the plow-guy couldn't get past the icy part of the driveway, forced air heat, 2 x failed furnace. Doc has me on Arythromycin, cough syrup, and a mist inhaler. My diaphragm muscles are shot from the coughing.

  6. Had a pretty rough flight most of the way in to Kona today. I think a lot of it was the crap the islands had to deal with a week ago. Maui had snow down to 6000', and they're getting the rains now

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