Tonight on the 4ltr, the Red Sawks play*, and the Yankmees don't!!!!111one111!!! How did that happen?
Anyway, there is some sort of milestone at stake (Tim Wakefield seeks career win 200, including many games NOT against the Yankmees).
In order to provide context for the milestone, there may or may not be another team on the field. However, it is rumored that two non-Sawks players that 4ltr viewers may have heard of, Joe Mauer and Jim Thome, may be mentioned. Mauer, because his iconic sideburns are two of the most notable features of flyover America, and Thome because he too is within striking distance of a milestone of sorts, even though it is likely to happen in obscurity unless it happens tonight.
Bring the snark, kids. That's what we are playing for.
*some guy named Booker or Barker or something is starting for the other team, in case anyone cares.