2011 Twins Game Logs

Game 38: Twins at Blue Jays

161 Comments

Gardy stalked down the sidewalk straight to an obscure door of the decrepit Metrodome. Gardy reached around the wall feeling for a light switch. He found it and switched it up, but nothing happened.

"Figures," he muttered to himself.

Gardy stormed down some stairs into the bowels of the Metrodome. He continued down several corridors before finally trying to open a door, but it was locked.

"Why is this thing locked?" he called through the door. "Open up!"

"You didn't give the secret knock!" a muffled voice said from inside the room.

"I hate all this cloak and dagger b--- s---," Gardy muttered before tapping out "Shave and a Haircut."

The door was unlocked from inside, and it opened slowly with a loud creeeaaaak to reveal a darkened room save for a lonely candle in the center of a table in the middle of the room. Bill Smith and Jim Pohlad were sitting at the table wearing black capes with hoods.

"The plan isn't working!" Gardy said as he stormed in, slammed the door and dropped in a chair at the table.

"You must have patience, my young apprentice," a crusty voice said from a darkened corner of the room followed by a puff of cigar smoke. "This is a long horse race, and we have to hold our thoroughbred back, so he will finally have enough endurance to finish the race and win the prize at the end!"

"T.K., I am not your apprentice anymore, and I'm tired of all the horse racing crap. Your horses have won fewer races than I've won playoff games," Gardy said. "And who is that in the other corner over there?"

"I'm hunger. I'm thirst. Where I bite, I hold till I die, and even after death they must cut out my mouthful from my enemy's body and bury it with me. I can fast a hundred years and not die. I can lie a hundred nights on the ice and not freeze. I can drink a river of blood and not burst," a creepy voice said from the darkened corner.

"OK, who brought the FOX exec here?" Gardy asked.

"I did," Smith said," He has a vested interest in this as well."

"Yes, and it's going splendidly," said Pohlad with glee. "This is going to be a spectacular comeback. This is going to be so much fun!" Pohlad jumped up and down as he talked. "They thought they had seen amazing comebacks before, but they've never seen anything like this."

"OK, OK, settle down," Smith said. "Gardy, I know you're frustrated, but you knew the first part of the plan would be difficult. Your players will be restored to you when the time is right. We need to rest them so they'll be ready for October."

"Could you at least have given some reasonable injuries? Sore arms, oblique strains, bilateral leg weakness? C'mon, even Ron Coomer doesn't buy that one."

"That one's mine," Pohlad said with a grin. "I love that one."

"And why did you give Morneau food poisoning? Or force Pavano to grow a beard? And what did you do to Cuddyer?" Gardy asked.

"We took his magic kit away," Smith said with a wry grin.

"And I didn't know we would get this far back in the standings," Gardy said. "The fans are starting to lose hope. I'm starting to lose hope."

"When the time is right. We must stick to the plan," Smith said.

Well, it better be soon," Gardy said. "Please! Let it be soon!"

161 thoughts on “Game 38: Twins at Blue Jays”

  2. Why would the FOX exec want the Twins to succeed in October? They couldn't have BoSox-Yankmes ALCS if the Twins are in it. I don't trust that creature's counsel!

      1. I don't think they do, at least not all of the FSN networks. FSN NW re-branded to ROOT sports in late March, but hadn't been officially associated with FOX for a couple of years.

      2. But your story makes it about staying healthy enough for October, when FSN gets no broadcasts.

        1. FSN set records for ratings in the Twins' comebacks of 2006, 2008 and 2009. You still have to win during the season to get to October. It was a reach just to make a joke. When I envisioned the meeting in the darkened room, the meeting in the Stone Table room in Prince Caspian came to mind and I loved that quote from the werewolf, so I had to come up with someone to be pure evil. I figured an FSN exec and FOX was funnier, since everyone seems to hate FOX and plus that's a similar animal to a wolf. I couldn't come up with anyone that was "evil" in the Twins' organization. Maybe Jack Morris since the quote is boastful about endurance.

          1. Gotcha. I didn't mean to tear down your story, I liked at least one of the characters potentially not having the Twins' best interest in mind. Like in the Harry Potter books, you're never sure about Snape til the end.

    1. After the game? So he's still available to pitch today?
      What do the Twins do for a LOOGY now? Bring Dusty back? Claim Mahay or someone else? (There are always LOOGYs available somewhere, right?)

      I see that Carmen Cali is a free agent. I couldn't remember which arm Julio DePaula pitched with, but wikipedia says it's his right and also that he's playing in Korea.

      1. I would assume he is available today, but unlikely to be used. Here's the tweet:

        Mijares reported left elbow soreness this morning. Gardenhire said the reliever will likely be placed on DL after today's game. #Twins

        1. At that point they had no way of bringing in someone else to replace him on the roster today. Maybe he'll get an appearance pinch bunting or in the outfield.

              1. They are magical cursed golden roller skates that can adjust themselves to fit anybody.

        1. Okay, his 2010 stats are available in the Minors section of b-r.com. I can use that as my Rosetta Stone:

          2010: 41 games, 17 starts, 6-12 record, 3 Saves, 4.58 ERA, 131 IP, 133 H, 68 BB+HBP, 68 K, 8 HR.
          2011: 11 games, 5 or 6 starts, 0-3 record, 0 Saves, 6.95 ERA, 33.2 IP, 44 H, 22 BB+HBP, 29K, 3HR.

        1. 14 games, 20 IP: 2.25 ERA, 1.05 WHIP, 11.7 K/9.
          I think DK is right. Didn't know Charles Jim was doing so well in AAA.

          1. There's also Phil Dumatrait, 15 games, 15.2 IP, 4 saves, 1.15 ERA, 1.34 WHIP, 6.9 K/9 (but 6.3 BB/9 vs 2.7 BB/9 for James).

            1. From Joe C's Twitter:
              Dumatrait and Swarzak up, Hoey down, Mijares to DL, Holm DFA'd to make room on the 40 for Dumatrait.
              I guess Dumatrait is the proven closer.

              1. I don't know why it's Dumatrait over James.
                James had more success in the majors (as a starter), has better K rates, better BB rates, and better WHIP.
                However, Dumatrait has a .259/.259/.296 AAA batting line vs James' .154/.154/.154. Maybe Dumatrait can PH, too.
                (In the majors, Dumatrait has only 1 single in 27 ABs, and James is only 8-for-97 plus one double and 3 walks.)

                1. Bad timing for James. Manship had a short start today and James had to pitch 2 2/3 innings (4 Ks, 2 BBs, no hits, no runs allowed). I would hope he would have been called up over Dumatrait, who doesn't look like he will help the staff's control problems.

                  1. Dangit. Someone should have called Nieto and told him that James was about to be called up and not to use up his arm too much. I've decided that I'm liking Chuck until he proves that he stinks in the majors (which he did, for six starts, in 2008, and he hasn't even had a cup of coffee since).

    1. Bert says that automatically when a ball is hit hard, no matter where it is.

      1. I know. He's just filling time, going to the well he knows. I just wish he'd occasionally watch the pitch rather than the result. It is strange how he can tell you all about a pitch if there's no contact, but if there's contact he suddenly loses his ability to see.

  5. one of peckish jane's friends came over, which i wasn't really looking forward to. however, they showed up with a gift new glaurus sampler 12 pack. i've given them a key to our apartment.

        1. Sometimes its hard to be a Twins fan
          Giving all your love to just one team
          You'll have bad times
          And they'll have bad times
          Doing things that you don't understand
          But if you love them you'll forgive them
          Even though they're hard to understand
          And if you love them
          Oh be proud of them
          'Cause after all they're just jocks

          Stand by your Twins
          Give them two arms to cling to
          And something warm to come to
          When nights are cold and lonely
          Stand by your Twins
          And tell the world you love them
          Keep giving all the love you can
          Stand by your Twins

          Stand by your Twins
          And show the world you love them
          Keep giving all the love you can
          Stand by your Twins

  11. Wow. Bert just had the gall to say that no matter how many pitches you threw the day before, you better be ready to pitch every day or you should put yourself on the DL.

  14. Del on should be yanked from the game after that 'effort'. No way Molina scores if he just runs after the ball.

    1. Before today he was leading the majors in OPS by more than 0.200 (and the by more than 0.300).
      His OPS right now is more than 50% higher than Kubel's.

      1. .358/.517/.798 -- Bautista, going into today
        .370/.582/.799 -- Barry Bonds, 2002 (his highest OPS year)

        (And Bautista's OBP may be more impressive since he's only got 2 IBB so far this year. He probably can't keep this up, but he's been on a crazy tear.)

          1. I'm honestly surprised they haven't yet. With 2 IBB, the mighty Mark Trumbo has more intentional walks than Jose Bautista this year.

              1. as joeC just pointed out, batista has 15 HRs, the twins have 18. that stat is not as surprising.

                1. The Twins have 15 home runs this season!?!?!? How is that not surprising? I thought they had like 6.

  19. that is Bautista's 10th HR against Twins pitching in the last 2 years. TEN

      1. I was thinking more like stop the season at 50 games if the Twins don't have 15 wins.

  22. Jose Bautista has 13 career HR's against the Twins. that is tied with Baltimore and Bos as the team he has hit the most HR's against. Next on the list is the Yankees with 11

  23. Nice work on the game log, socal, very enjoyable read.

    _elm_n, you suck.

    I have grass to mow and dandelions to uproot. Enjoy the game, citizens. If you can.

  26. TOR squawkers ripping De1m0!n on the fundamentals - what happened to the Twins of yore, etc. Smallball not working anymore, blah-blah-blah.

    1. I wonder if the nine-figure payroll is going to finally prompt opposing broadcasters into questioning whether the Twins are all about "the little things."

  29. Is it too early to say that Bill Smith has run this team into the ground or is that too GOSO?

      2. well, not the bullpen. and of course, the bullpen is entirely responsible for this year's struggles.

      3. True, though the bullpen saw some departures, and of course the middle of the infield is also gone.

        I'm thinking mostly about the poor performance of major trades and the draft prospects coming up.

        1. IMO, the Twins farm system is largely suffering due to the Twin's success over the last decade. Since it often takes prospects 4-5 years to make it to the majors, from '02-'07 Terry Ryan had the benefit of bringing up players from the farm system who were drafted near the top of the draft. There's a big drop-off in expected performance from someone in the top 10 picks of the first round to the bottom 10 picks of the first round (where on average you get someone as valuable as a utility infielder.)

          And in comparison with Terry Ryan, I'd say that TR got lucky on some trades and BS has made some risky trades that haven't panned out. Now maybe that level of risk wasn't worth taking in the first place, but I don't see BS as having greatly failed this year's team. The risks he took worked out last year and they haven't so much this year. TR was always criticized for not taking risks, not "going for it," and this is the flip side of that coin.

          1. I don't disagree with this. TR had some good poaching of other team's systems that were likely not all of his making. I am thinking mostly pitching like Santana, Liriano and Nathan, but also players like Bartlett.

            I guess the difference is that BS hasn't had any big clear successes so far on the acquisition front. Thome last year maybe is the closest.

            1. It's true that he hasn't had anything turn out really, really well just yet. BS hasn't done the bold strokes as well as TR did. BS has seemingly done some of the roster fill-ins a bit better, at least at times. Last year Pavano, Hudson, Hardy, and Thome all were key contributors, the sort of veteran contributors that TR never had good luck at bringing in.

              I guess my overall take on Smith is that when he got the job, he enacted what seemed to be a pretty clear plan: get younger in 2008, lock down the quality players on hand to long-term deals and ramp up to peak in 2010 when the new stadium opens. If the Yankees weren't allowed to have a $200M payroll, who knows, that plan could even have culminated in a 2010 WS victory. None of the individual bits of his '08 to '10 plan worked out brilliantly, but as a whole it didn't work out so bad.

          2. The Twins have done well with their picks this century, at least their first picks in the draft. If you count 2000, that was a bad start with Adam Johnson after that it was Mauer, Span, Matt Moses, Plouffe, Garza, Parmelee, Revere, Aaron Hicks, Kyle Gibson and Alex Wimmers. Johnson and Moses were the only busts so far. Plouffe is up and looks like he could possibly be an average shortstop, which is nothing to sneeze at for the Twins, Revere was twice the organizations' position player of the year, Hicks is considered by some the Twins' best prospect, and Gibson is the top pitching prospect, if there is such a thing, and is doing well in AAA. Parmelee is in the wrong organization because the Twins don't appreciate his two best skills: patience and power. However, he is still advancing slowly and could be a decent RF/1B/DH. I don't remember any complaints when Wimmers was drafted, but him being unable to throw strikes in his first start was concerning, but hopefully that will be handled correctly. Few high upside players, but plenty of useful players. What you would expect from the Twins. They rarely take risks, so they rarely hit on a star, but they rarely crap out as well.

  30. I like it when DicknBert would rather talk about Parkinson's than the baseball game they are wathcing...

  32. I turned off the radio and closed the gameday window. I do have things to do. See y'all later.

    1. If you feel the same way about the game, but do have nothing better to do, there's a slew of Ha Ha Tonka performances in the Video Frame.

  34. OPS of the Twins' lineup:

    .710
    .917(SSS)
    .887
    .600
    .518
    .674
    .657
    .302
    .474

    Some of these need to go up. Some of these need to be replaced.

  38. You know what this lineup could use more of? Brendan Harris.

  44. When Nishioka comes back, Plouffe better being playing short instead of Casilla.

    2. That means he's seen at least 18 pitches in his last 6 at-bats. That might be a record for him.

      1. He's seen a ton of pitches today. He keeps fouling them straight back before they finally throw it slow enough or far enough out of the zone for him to miss it.

  52. Yeah, it's probably time to start walking Bautista and/or stop watching this game.

  53. Baustita now has 12 HR's in 2 years against the Twins, 7 this year and 15 in his career

      1. You triggered bad flashbacks of Thome hitting it off the curtain at the Dome.

  54. I turned it on just in time to see Bautista hit another one. His third of the game? Why are we pitching to this guy?

    F this.

  55. PatNeshek @JoeCStrib Now I don't feel so bad about giving up that MONSTER HR to Bautista last year @ Target Field

    1. July 13th was the low point of the season, 6 games below .500

      then they acquired Shannon Stewart and won the division by 6 games

  60. Slowey started the game with a 2.25 ERA, now at 4.15.
    I hope Gardy lets him finish the damn thing.

  61. Wow, I picked a good day to have to judge Survivor. Of course, these days, I kind of wish I had to judge Survivor every day of the week.

  66. I don't know what that loading the bases was about, but Kubel applied the bookend to the series.

  67. How bad is the Twins schedule early in the season? The Twins have played 23 road games and 15 home games so far and they are about to play 16 of their next 22 games on the road. Assuming no rainouts, on Trey's birthday (June 8), the Twins will have played 39 road games and just 21 home games. Plus, they are in the middle of playing 30 games in 31 days. That is just insane. I can't remember the Twins spending so much time on the road. I have little hope of Mauer being back before then, and I doubt Nishioka will be back much before then either. It's like watching a team in quicksand and not being able to do anything about it.

  68. The one glimmer of hope I can muster at this point: The Twins are done playing AL East teams until July (Bert said August, but I have tickets to a July 5 game that say "TC vs. Tampa Bay Rays," which last I checked still play in the AL East). The Twins are 6-18 against the AL East and 6-8 against everyone else, so there's hope they can at least start playing .500 ball.

    1. that's the spirit, socal!

      The Twins are gonna win some games!!!

      /New Guy optimism

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