WGOM Lexicon

ass-bats (ass bats)
n. 1 the Mariners in 2010.
A link or two to bat-girl.com would be great
something that should have been memorable but has been forgotten. Named after former Twins catcher Earl Battey. For example, "spooky totally Battey'd this entry in the lexicon." The origin of this was when SBG was counting down the top 40 Twins by VORP and he said that Mauer would make people forget about Battey. rhu_ru took exception and a meme was born.
Better Know a Citizen. They're introductory surveys to our regulars.
blown opposition save opportunity. If the Twins are down by three, the opposition has warmed up their closer, and the Twins give up more runs and deny a chance for a Save, this is what happens. The stat is exactly as meaningful as the Save.
Cuddy Go Boom!
Michael Cuddyer hit a home run.
Delmon Young hit a home run.
Ditto. But, Dido's pretty.
forbidden topic, the
Politics. We don't mess with that here.
"Face of the Franchise." Derisively leveled at Torii Hunter, fan and media favorite who spent his last year in a Twins uniform praising every big market he played in. He was also immune to media criticism despite repeatedly throwing players under the bus, and as such, Michael Cuddyer is dangerously close to claiming this acronym.
"Game Over, Season Over." First said by a former Citizen during a stressful game in late 2009, predicting the Twins had no chance to come back and make the playoffs. This prediction was proven false. It can now be used whenever something bad happens to the home town nine, though usually not when they have a lead.
The Twins' long reliever; originally referring to Willie Eyre and the Simpson's character.
He Who Must Not Be Named
Former Twins "closer" Ron Davis. Seeing his name in print makes Rhubarb_Runner's eyes bleed.
I wanna see the Johns
"I want to see the Twins sweep this series." Named for Jasper Johns's work Fool's House, which features a broom.
A fairly unknown or commonplace opposing pitcher (typically lefty), which has historically has given Twins batters fits.
"Joke," as intentionally misspelled by brianS. Why does he do it? You'll have to ask him.
Kelly Wells
Often refers to a double play ("DP.") It's spookymilk's real name, but also the name used by a female porn star. If you need more explanation, you probably don't actually want it.
Light Rail
Scott Baker. E-6: "Well, he's no 'Big Train' Johnson."
Mauer with Pauer/Power
Matt Wieters. Not really, though.
the one baserunner Joe Nathan seems to always allow per appearance
puppies and fireworks
"The Twins won." We celebrate with photos of puppies, usually two together, and fireworks.
used to reference former Twins infielder [redacted].
One of many digs at Matt Capps's girth. See also: Crisco and references to Babe.
Predicted, but not aloud. Named for spookymilk's silently predicted homers starting in late 2009.
tin-eared dumb f*&k
LeBron James. I think E-6 is to thank for this one. As, of course, is The Decision.
a nickname for Joe Nathan due to his Tourette's while on the mound. Used with love.
Warning track Pauer
Joe Mauer nearly hit a home run.
Worst All-Star Twin, Ever -- Ron Coomer.
Yeah, me neither.
Usually means "I agree." Started with spookymilk pointing out a stupid thing Bill Simmons said, and somehow ended up turning into this.

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Remodeled basement. Same half-baked taste.