In today's let's get back to .500 edition the hometown ii's look to take revenge on their fearless leader's former squad. Will this squad ever score a run, or are they already looking toward their World Series Win in 2016? Only time will tell.
Game Start: 12:08pm
Probables:
MIN: Ricky (Not Ricardo) Nolasco, RHP
DET: Anibal (Not an Island) Sanchez, RHP
Lineups:
MIN:
1. Santana SS
2. Dozier 2B
3. Mauer 1B
4. Hunter RF
5. Vargas DH
6. Plouffe 3B
7. Arcia LF
8. Suzuki C
9. Schafer CF
DET:
1. Gose CF
2. Kinsler 2B
3. Cabrera 1B
4. Martinez DH
5. Martinez RF
6. Cespedes LF
7. Castellanos 3B
8. Avila C
9. Iglesias SS
Go Twins!
Here's to continuing our buntless 2015 campaign.
ii made a pretty good catch. It will keep DicknBert going for the next month at least.
I can see Ricky ('s In Love) keeping that Tigers lineup, 1-9, from scoring. But how is that Twins lineup going to get any hits?
Calling a Ricky (Don't Lose that Number) Quality Start No Decision.
I'm giving myself half credit for this.
Gameday suggests that Kerwin has a pretty tight strike zone in the early going ... accurate or no?
Every ball that BabyJeebus has put in play this year has been to 2nd base...SSS and all that, but oy.
The predictable result of Mauer trying to pull the ball.
double oy.
Guys! Buddy Carlyle is back in the Majors!
In one of my epic "Mugshot Purgatory" columns in the old basement, he featured in the Braves photos, having his MLB and AAA pics both taken with his MLB hat, but the MLB shot was smiling and the AAA shot was not.
and he got his first career save!
TWINS ON THE RADIO! Oh man this makes working so much better!
Looking at anything the Twins post on Facebook, and I liked it better when the franchise was without a face.
I heard him do the intro on the TIBN and cringed. Ugh.
The Twins have to score at least 161 runs this season.
I believe the Twins can out will the other teams by pitching 50 innings of shutout baseball each game and forcing the other team to forfeit.
That's the spirit!
Make that 163.
I pre-emptively loaded the FSN Detroit feed.
You mean the plate umpire is allowed to ask for help on a checked swing?
Only if they are appealing to Joe West
Actually, if Joe West is at the appropriate base, the plate umpire is required to appeal to him.
Looking forward to Game 7 when the Twins get their first lead of the season
Looking forward to Game 9 when the Twins get their first win of the season.
I love how Bert always calls Cespedes "Cepsides".
He's always so confidently wrong, too. He never seems to doubt that he's got the name nailed, and Dick never bothers to correct him.
I wonder how many times Dick tried off-air before giving up completely.
Could have been worse.
That might be the new Twins slogan: "It could be worse".
"Get to Know 'em, it can get worse" ha
Nothing wrong that a grand slam wouldn't fix.
Or two.
"Wins as a starting outfielder in AL history."
Huh?! Yes, I was hoping for a list of people who played until they were old.
Wins are a made-up stat.
That's digging deep, very deep.
They just put so much effort into finding numbers that could be presented better. "Starts as an outfielder in AL history" is actually indicative of player durability and worth - or at least moreso than what they looked for.
We might consider running a pool about when this team will score its first run of the year.
Longest streak to start a season with no runs is two games, done 11 times. Sorry, can't do an inning breakdown.
That's surprising no one has ever done 3, given that runs are usually at a premium at the beginning of a season and I remember when the Twins got three consecutive shutouts from their pitchers and I believe it was all against the Braves.
Why are runs at a premium at the beginning of a season as opposed to the middle or end of the season? The record is four (done eight times) and there are numerous streaks of three; most recent occurrence was the Rays last June. If anything, it seems less likely to happen at the beginning of the season due to players being better rested.
The thought is offense is worse when it's cold.
This is what I would guess too (with absolutely no facts or stats to back it up).
From 2014:
Conclusion: Spring training is much too short. It needs to be seven months to get pitchers into shape.
That's some gold glove defense, ii.
Not an "error," naturally.
What happened? Not watching.
Let a ball roll under his glove, turned a double into a triple.
Welcome back, Torii!
Why were Dazzle and Provus saying it was Schafer? Why does the box score say Schafer?
Because he did the same thing a batter or two later.
Way to follow leadership, guys.
Schafer
😉
There were two separate plays that were messed up, one by Hunter and one by Schafer. Schafer got an error, Hunter did not.
No, Schafer did it too. Right after that.
Different play. There's a lot of outfield sucking to go around today.
If only it was going to be just today.
What ii giveth, ii taketh away.
The way I look at it, the worse the Twins play at the start of the year, the sooner we'll see some of the kids come up, which is what we really want to see anyway.
I'm not sure Torii stops playing, or even starting, regardless of level of play, though.
True. Hunter would have to be a lot worse than I think he's going to be to get pulled from the lineup. He might get more frequent days off, though. And since he'll be forty this year, there's probably a decent chance he'll spend some time on the disabled list.
I'm just hoping against hope that he reneges on his "I'm a Twin for life now that I'm home!" stance and begs for a trade to a contender at the deadline.
Though I'm fairly certain a lot of the local fanbase would talk about how his teammates let him down, rather than how he was a jerk. I'd be elated.
He's showing his leadership by sucking so that the better players will be called up that he can then lead to more victories.
Maybe the Twins will be able to trade for Dubnyk after the hockey season is over.
So we'll be seeing the youngsters next week?
Outfield defense almost as suspect as the pitching.
Hunter is imparting himself on the younger players
Almost? The OF was horrible last year and if anything, it's been downgraded this year.
Stauffer may not have it going today.
Game 2: settling nicely into schadenfreude.
Nothing that a couple of grand slams wouldn't fix.
Just came to apologize. Turned on the game during lunch, just as the bottom of the third was starting. My bad. This one's on me.
When the Twins win the World Series in a few months, we are gonna look back at this beginning of the season and laugh.
Why wait a few months? Fire up those DVDs today!
I did learn, however, during my 20 minutes watching that Torii Hunter is going to school the young players, so that they don't make the same mistakes he made when he was young, which I think we can all agree is exactly what you're looking for in a corner outfielder.
Who you're paying $10 million dollars, to boot.
That's only like one million dollars per lesson.
Oooh, I need to doctor that to say TORII instead
Then just need a [torii] shortcode.
To think I was annoyed that I'd have to bail on this to drive to the airport.
If Ervin Santana wasn't suspended, this game would only be like 5-0.
TWINS BASEBALL!!!!!!
Just thought I'd try that out.
There's a super secret version too if you're feeling extra frustrated.
Do we have a list of shortcodes hiding somewhere?
Most of them are in the bar above the edit box.
okay, I can't figure it out.
TWINS [redacted] BASEBALL!!!
EDIT: heh, i did. didn't know about that one.
whoa, and now it switched.
and again!
Oh, that reminds me I can add another to the list (and add a space, oops). I don't have the code handy but I am pretty sure this one and the usual
tb
one were added at the same time.ahh, it rotates. i thought you were just in the process of changing it. even better.
I could have sworn that I tried that.
Argh. I really wanted to see the first run before I have to take off.
I don't think you'll miss it.
TWINS BASEBALL!!
Not sure if that's the super secret version, but man-o-man is it spot on.
Nope, it's still all text but expresses additional frustration about the baseball being played.
Ahh - I tried variations of that, but not exactly that, i.e.:
[tb]
TWINS BASEBALL!!!
[f]
[ftb]
[tbf]
What's our elimination number?
159
TWINS FREAKING BASEBALL!!!!!
Got it.
In Re the various ii comments above - We may be in for a very, very long season.
emphasis mine
This is when Gordo would always solemnly remind us "This is not a save situation."
Why on earth do you need 2 pitchers in the 9th when you're up by 11 runs?
Off days
In late August when we're in the heat of the race, we're really gonna wish we had these two games.
2015: The Quest to Avoid 90 Losses just became 2015: The Quest to Score A Run.
Never fear, Eddie Guardado will probably light some farts in the clubhouse tonight and all will be well.
Who is Torii going to take a swing at first?
Might as well hack at the other half of M&M.
And land it on Pinto instead of Punto
Further research does not show this as a good thing.
so, with no ubelmann around, I guess I have to do this (or maybe can get away with it). My quick Bayesian analysis suggests that the Twins will score zero runs this season.
What was your prior?
I thought we retired that joak?
😉
took a minute...
The Twins haven't scored a run in their last 28 innings, all at Detroit. (Price shut them out in the season finale last year). Of course, they won the previous game 12-3, so they're averaging 3 runs per game in their last 4 games.
The Twins haven't been shut out in consecutive games since ... Sept. 2013, so not exactly a long time. That was at home to the Rays. In the final game of that series, the Twins trailed 3-0 after six innings and ended up winning 6-4. That final game was started by ... David Price. The Twins loaded the bases in the seventh inning with one out. Maddon took Price out and brought in Jake McGee, who gave up a two-run single to Chris Parmelee to end the drought.
So, I picked a good week to have absolutely no time to follow the Twins.