Not that any of you know her, but I have to do this. Feel free to ignore this.
Noelle is the third young person I've known that died since I moved here just two and a half years ago; a good kid who I'd just started talking with at work fell out of a fourth-story hotel window (his fault, and yes, he was drinking) and my co-writer's sister had an asthma attack, fell to the ground, and died of an aneurysm after hitting her head. Young deaths have followed me, and I realize it's nothing more than bad luck for me to know all these people who come from different places, but it's tiring to watch so many promising lives be cut short.
Noelle was a decent young actress. She didn't go to school for it nor did she even define herself as an actress, but a couple of years before I arrived her, my now-partner in filmmaking used her in a regional series because she looked the part and it didn't ask for a lot of range in comparison to some other roles. Over the course of the 13-episode series, Noelle made marked improvement and I found myself looking forward to her appearances more and more. Right around the time I was finishing up watching the series, Noelle was diagnosed with cancer.
Although I hadn't met her - she was off at college by this point - we know all of the same people so I took it strangely personally, and became invested in her fight. Nobody had an unkind word to say about her - a miracle in this business where everyone gets testy and far too many people talk behind backs - so it was easy to be on her side.
She seemed for a long while to be the type of person who would beat it, but last December she went in for a scheduled checkup and the small amount of cancer she had had migrated into her liver and was attacking it aggressively, and they gave her six months, just a month after her last checkup had suggested she was doing quite well.
A week before this, my co-writer had gotten the funding to do a two-hour special based on the 13-episode show he'd done, because some big players in Hollywood - in particular a name you'd know immediately but I don't think I should share - found out about the series and wanted to see what he could do with better equipment and a few better actors. My co-writer replaced a couple of actors whose performances would have done his career no favors, but he never considered replacing Noelle until she made her updated condition known.
He talked it over with her a lot, and she wanted to appear in the show, going through what she was going through in her real life. She and her parents fought over this decision, but she knew she was at the end anyway and she didn't want to go out without leaving this mark and appearing on TV in her weakened state. I admired the hell out of her for that. I don't want to mince words here; Noelle, a few years ago, was a friggin' babe. Noelle, a few months ago, had been ravaged by the cancer.
She was tired and weak on set, and didn't work more than a couple hours a day. Several breaks were worked into the schedule for her and nobody was to handle her unless she asked for it. Still, she put on a brave face and joked around like she had all her life. She and I became fast friends in our short time together and she told me a lot about her life; more, she said, than she even bothered to tell her parents, which is another sad story I won't get into even though nobody's read this far anyway.
I wanted to be friends with Noelle for a long time even though I knew her odds. She never admitted her odds openly until just a few days before she died; she had a conversation with my co-writer and she was clearly resigned. She made a point to thank him profusely for the opportunities she'd gotten in her short life, and she said she loved him when she was about to hang up. My co-writer knew he'd probably had his last conversation with her.
Noelle was 23. It's not fucking fair, but it's not like I've ever thought it was, so whatever. I've seen a lot of young people go but Noelle's a hell of a thing. I lost a friend, but crueler still, I lost someone who I think was bound to be one of my best friends.
Thanks for reading, if you did so. I'll try to keep things lighter from here on out.
Bizarrely, I've somehow made it to age 30 without anyone I've cared about, even in the slightest, dying before their time.
Tomorrow I start a new job for the first time in over six years. It's an unpaid internship on a psychiatric unit. I'll have no income for three months. Also, Stef just moved in a few days ago, my first ever roommate. A lot of life changes going on at the same time. All scary. All for the best, I think.
Last week I implied I wanted my former employer to take my job and shove it. It really was a good job. They paid me well, and it is still a fantastic nursing home. But for the first four years I was there, a nurse who was a favorite of my boss did everything she could to get me fired. She made up lies about me. She made other co-workers not talk to me, and said she'd fire them if they did. She told several people I wanted to throw the company down the toilet and would tell my boss ways I had disrespected residents and family members. But my boss was in love with her, so I had no chance.
Two years ago she died of cancer. I sometimes feel terrible admitting that this brought greater relief to me than just about anything ever in my life. She was a mean, controlling, sad person who made me fear coming into work for four straight years, and could have ruined my professional reputation. Thankfully, the last two years my boss hasn't had the need to yell at me at all, because nobody has been telling lies to him about my job performance. And I think we ended on a good note.
So yeah, this story is the opposite of yours, and I don't know how you feel, though I am sorry. Coincidentally, I signed on to tell my bit before I even knew you were writing this.
I'm watching Wolves-Blackburn (both came into the day with relegation looming) and following scores around the Premier League. There are some monetary problems with the relegation system, but ho-lee crap is this exciting. This is the epitome of bad teams having a reason to play out the season.
3-0 Blackburn. This is a massacre and the first half isn't over yet.
I remember a few years ago when Fulham was in serious danger. It was unbelievably fun to watch in a bar with 7 different games on in different rooms (and the supporters of each club sequestered by room). Also, it was quite hilarious when Fulham dodged relegation and they showed a delirious Hugh Grant in the crowd.
There it is...Birmingham and Blackpool fall, and it took all day to decide it. Man, that was intense.
It took all day to decide it, but I told you what was going to happen two weeks ago.
Sorry, it happens rarely enough that I feel I have to toot my own horn when I get a prediction right.
Wigan beating the drop is nuts. Have they spent one week outside of the relegation zone all season?
Respectfully noted, sir.
Fun fact: Birmingham has been relegated in 3 of the past 6 Premier League seasons.
Hugh Grant and MJ are the superstars at Craven Cottage.
With the number of goals he put up this year, I wonder if any of the Big Four(or Six now?) are going to try to poach Deuce.
It was a lot more likely until Hodgie botched his way out of Liverpool.
Blackpool, man....damn.
Watching the Spurs game was crazy. Two great goals by Pavy in his preferred area about 25 yards center in front of the net. A trip to Europe's consolation league awaits.
Stupid premier league. I have to wait until August now, and I don't know if the Twins will be anywhere near worth watching until then.
Still, it's a much shorter offseason than American team sports have.
Between the Twins and the Chicago Fire this could be a very long summer.
In more delightful news, the former best GM in sports is the front-runner for the Houston Rockets coaching job???
Since the GM of the Rockets is a stathead's favorite, the hiring of Kevin McHale might make some heads explode.
this would be the same GM who traded stathead favorite Shane Battier away for Hasheem Thabeet and a future Grizz 1st-round pick (likely to be a crappy one)??
One and the same.
Own goal for Blackpool! OHHHHH NOOOOOOO!
I'd wondered about your Facebook status update the other day, Milkman, but didn't want to ask since it seemed so personal. I'm awfully sorry about Noelle – it seems appropriate to grieve not only for the loss of a good, far too young, person, but also for the friendship which never had a chance to flourish the way it would have under normal circumstances, especially considering the start it had and the connection you obviously felt.
It sounds like she lived her last days with dignity and great love and concern for others. I'm not sure how some people do it, but I've seen it enough now to know that's how I want to be able to go, if at all possible.
I didn't see this mentioned in yesterday's CoC, but maybe it was in the game thread. At any rate, Gary Carter has multiple brain tumors.
Doesn't every guy want a little tongue action??
Peeling those things is a bear.
I pickled one last fall, it turned out OK, but too tough. I'll stick to pickling beef & venison hearts and chicken gizzards.
I guess I'd do pork hearts, too, but I don't see them in my store.
Sorry to hear about Noelle. I always wish there was something to say in these situations that made things better, but of course there isn't. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
Thank you Jeff, CH and those who have emailed me. Last night ended up being pretty hard and after the crushing Twins loss it all nailed me at once. I wish I wasn't so far from everyone I know, but at the WGOM I feel like you all are right here with me to some degree.
Sorry,about your loss I have a feeling my Spookymilk Survivor submission won't exactly pick you up either.
Heh. I've read all of them, and dude, they are certainly not the heartwarming type this week.
I was going for lighthearted whimsy, but I'm not sure I hit the mark.
LOL, for real.
Man vs. Computer, Round 2.
I pulled the hard drives (both 40GB Maxtors) from computer 1, carefully noting which was primary and which secondary. They were jumpered for Cable Select. I installed the secondary drive in computer 2 after disconnecting a Zip drive, making sure that the new, secondary drive was connected to the gray (middle) plug. I powered up -- the machine did not recognize ANY hard drives. WTF?
I disconnected the secondary drive and tried again. Still nothing -- "Hard drive 1 not found".
I reconnected the Zip drive and tried again. Everything back to normal. Again, WTF? I have confirmed that the primary drive in computer 2 (Western Digital 40Gb) was jumpered correctly for Cable Select. so that ain't it.
Help. I am flummoxed. (yes, I retried to confirm that I'd properly seated the plugs)
I've never had any luck with the cable select option. I've always manually put one hdd as master and the other as slave. That should fix things.
but why would the machine fail to boot with only the original boot drive connected, then boot properly with the Zip drive re-connected?
How is the Zip drive connected? I've only known them to be external drives, but I think internal was also an option. If so, and it's on the same IDE cable, then it's possible the boot drive is being renumbered. That would cause things to get confused.
It is internal, and on the same ATA cable as the boot drive, in the gray (secondary or "middle") connector position (marked hard drive 2 or Zip).
I get "unknown device type" for the hard drives in setup.
Yeah, that's supposed to be how it works, but it failed the one time I tried.
I renamed Maxtor "Crapxtor" after my experience with them. Since that brand bit the dust awhile ago I'm guessing you're dealing with relatively old IDE HDDs.
I would assign master and slave using the jumper plugs, but I am willing to guess that your Maxtor is the cause of all your technological woes and it still won't work.
yea. No soap on changing the jumper settings to "Master" and "Slave". Ack.
I am going to try the other Maxtor to see whether maybe it is just my data drive that is totally foobarred.
these things aren't co-dependent, are they? shouldn't one work even if the other has failed? I mean, wouldn't it be completely stoopid for drives to be wired like old-time christmas tree lights (in series)???
good news/bad news. I was able to boot up with the second Maxtor (the original boot drive) installed as Slave and the WD as Master. I'm now backing up what little data resides on the drive.
[Joe Schultz!!!!!!!!]
I'm gonna be a mighty sad panda if I can't access the data from my Maxtor data drive. The lesson, as always: do regular backups.
Can Frankie L. play left field?
Aw crap. Wrong place!
Can he catch on his off days?
It won't give Bryan Stow his life back, but this looks to be a step in the direction of justice.