I had a post written up about how much Matt Capps sucks, but I wrote it while angry and somewhat inebriated. Today when I read it, I realized that it wasn't even quarter-bakef. We can't have substandard stuff like that, so instead, I'm going to half-bake it on the fly.
Carl Pavano (6-6, 97 ERA+)
Jeff Francis (3-10, 84 ERA+)
The 'stacheless 'stacheman has been pulling it together as of late, that one game in Milwaukee excepted. We've beaten Francis around a little bit in couple of times we've played him this year, so I'm feeling pretty good about tonight's game. I predict Ben Revere will hit an inside-the-park home run in which he will run the last 80 feet backwards.
Matt Capps sucks....but we'd better score a few more runs tonight than we did last night.
so its Bert Blyleven Day at the ballpark. yay?
I'll give that a yay. Bert the announcer is tiresome, but Bert the baseball player deserves it.
I agree. Dr. Jekyll is outstanding in his field. Uh, literally.
.
1. Revere, CF
2. Casilla, 2B
3. Mauer, DH
4. Cuddyer, 1B
5. Young, LF
6. Valencia, 3B
7. Plouffe, RF
8. Butera, C
9. Nishioka, SS
1. Getz, 2B
2. Cabrera, CF
3. Gordon, LF
4. Butler, DH
5. Hosmer, 1B
6. Francoeur, RF
7. Moustakas, 3B
8. Pena, C
9. Escobar, SS
Is the delay Bert-related?
yep
Hey guys, what the Bert is going on?
I dunno, but it's both Bertcentric and Bertbastic.
It's a Bertbration!
TWITCHY!
That is all.
Heh. TC Bear almost schooled everyone in the homerun contest yet again.
When he decides to someday retire, I'd like to suggest Mr Thome as his replacement.
Forecast: Parly Cludy.
exuding more Revere love
I liked how far past the base Revere was when the first baseman caught the ball.
Evening, everyone.
Happy Bert Day to you!
+ 3701 strikeouts.
Speed thrills.
And Revere continues to improve his SB%
Brilliant analysis by Coomer.
That was an incredibly manufactured run.
_elmOn!
Crooked numbers good!
Cuddy Go 1st to Home!
Delmon!
Delmon!
Nice start to Bert day. Let's just leave it at 1-0 now so Nathan can save...
Oops, 2-0!
Bring in Crapps!
I'd be okay with Capps coming in in the first inning, provided the Twins are down by 11 already, or up by several and a rain delay knocks out the starter.
I won't deny Crapps is still better than half the bullpen.
Amazing, isn't it? Seems like just yesterday the conventional thinking was that losing Fuentes, Rauch, Crain and Guerrier was no big deal because relievers are easily to replace.
they are...we just didn't try
Well, right, there it is.
Free Jim Hoey!
No, I mean take him... for no cost.
I could watch replays of Blyleven's curveball all damn day.
Dido.
And there is the only hit Pavano(ex)stache gives up tonight.
Nicely done by Plouffe!.
That is a perfect bunt, Dick. I know you won't say the word because he got a hit, but that by definition is the perfect bunt.
That was a less than perfect steal, however.
Club America(Mexico City) is playing Manchester City at (Corporate name here)San Francisco Giants ballpark right now.
It'd take quite the errant kick to get in into McCovey cove though.
Another bunt for a hit not called "perfect" by Dick. I just have to shake my head.
A perfect bunt is when Guzman put one down, the Indians threw it up the right field line, and Guzman circled the bases.
Perfect bunt.
I totally remember that, and certainly won't argue with it.
and I was there
You have been to way cooler games than I have. Outside an FOTF grand slam, I've primarily seen highlights for non-Twins teams.
I had the opportunity to go to game 163 two years ago, but I chose instead to keep my job.
I was there...you didn't miss much.
If I'd had the chance, I would have given up my job for that. Lucky me, I was unemployed at the time.
[Dido] on the first - luckily I was underemployed at the time.
I was there...no big deal...plenty of mistakes were made.
BUNK!
Ladies Choice tonight, and the Milkmaid went with a Blue Moon sampler pack, which I guess I can live with.
Right now I'm quaffing a Pale Moon, a very drinkable brew because there is absolutely nothing going on. It's not unpleasant, but even water might be more exciting.
It's among the best non-union, mass-produced session beer out there.
I'm firing off a Torpedo in a minute.
Salad nicoise tonight.
referring to the Blue Moon line, not the Pale Moon per se. I think the flagship Blue Moon itself is pretty quaffable.
Right, right. This is my first Pale Moon, and it's a bummer, because I dig what they do in general and Pales are my favorite style at the moment.
Yeah, I have nothing against the Blue Moon, to be sure. It was basically part of the big step I took between crummy beer and my current tastes, and I still enjoy it occasionally.
I have a PBR, collard greens sauteed with bacon, and some carne adovada-based burritos.
I love sauteed greens. With bacon just makes them awesomer.
We had some burritos made out of the leftover chili pork from meat's recipe. Perfecto.
I bought a butt roast today, specifically to make meat's recipe for tomorrow.
Live dangerously - throw in an orange slice.
That's only for the Blue, right? Perhaps I'll do that for the next one.
yea, I think the citrus would be beyond the Pale.
Nicebooo. 😉cheered or boo'd, it's nice to be appreciated.
For sure, besides, you're on a roll tonight:
It's certainly sub-genre
I certainly did both simultaneously, which with puns is the intended response, I think.
I grabbed a 22 oz (the only size available) of Madhouse's new Honey Pilsner. Nothing to write home about, but not bad either.
Up next I have a 22oz Minobii ESB from Leech Lake Brewery. Gotta support the locals, although they use Fuggle hops in literally everything.
Chocolate milk. After last night, I don't think I'll venture to anything harder.
ok, what KIND of chocolate milk?
I used to buy a grip-n-go choc. milk from a local dairy at the store occasionally, but recently noticed it was chock full of HFCS. Boo. The name-brand stuff, on the other hand -- no HFCS, but 30 pct more expensive.
Lazy bum. Make your own!
Revere = freakin' awesome
He'd look great in LF
buntasm!
Not Mauer's best effort.
2011?
*taps nose*
Oh, hey, I listened to Bring Me the Workhorse today. Great mood album, and went right into my rotation.
Cool. That is definitely a 'moody' record.
Nobody doubted it.
Nailed the trivia...but was it quick enough?
Butters!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111
WHA-WHA-WHAT!?
Man, I can't even remember the Twins' last HR!
I bet Mr. Carson beat you to it
Ha! Well, it's certainly possible.
Butters = Mauer with Power.
Move him to 3rd!!!
spooky!Oh look, music by my least favorite musical artist.
The Kid Rock sub-genre is to be avoided.
is crap a sub-genre? It's certainly sub-genre.
And why Uncle Kracker? He's culturally irrelevant at this point, and there's no chance Bert knows who he is.
Pavano being all "ace-y" tonight. 2 pitches, 2 outs this inning.
Butters now has more home runs than that other catcher...
Three K's already for Pavs? That's very Blackburnesque of him
Funny because it seems to have been true lately.
More than "seems," stats bear it out. His K numbers are startlingly low for him.
I was referring to Blackie's unusually high numbers.
Yeah, at this rate, Blackburn's K rates will be in the MLB top ten when he's in his 17th season.
If he makes it to his 17th, I'm pretty sure his K-rate will lead that category that year.
I remember that game in Philly last summer when Butters hit that home run in extra innings. I remember saying to mo chailín something like "Dang it, he's the worst hitter on the team, why is he pinch hitting?" seconds before he teed off.
I remember Linds and I having the exact same exchange.
"Okay, Royals, we'll put in Capps right now if you agree to swing at every first pitch tomorrow so we can go a while without using him again."
eff me. Escobar?
BANDBOX!!!!!!
I have to say that that's the logical answer to the Butters dinger.
frackin' give-back crap
Ugh, I'm a couple of minutes behind and I'm about to see it. At least I have warning.
I'm still waiting for that break-out hitting streak, Joe.
I'm still waiting for that
break-outhittingstreak, Joe.FTFY
I'm starting to think that might not happen this season. 🙁
I really hope you're wrong...
Oh, me, too. It's just that he's shown very little of the old Jeebus in 130+ PAs. Not a huge sample size, mind you, but big enough to suggest that a little trepidation is not completely unfounded.
.317 for July, but only 1 extra base hit. I don't expect 20 HRs; I would like to see a few more of his "slap-hitter" singles and doubles.
I don't think I will ever get tired of this "every kid should get a chance to learn a second language" advert.
Attebery: "Nishioka...is having an introduction to ... Joe West."
Hmm. What's Japanese for "you're an idiot, Fat Man"??
あなたはばか、ファットマンです。
Now that he's been boned on a call by a fat combative umpire, Nishioka is truly an American.
Butler was out. Frigging umps.
Frigging Joe West. It's obvious his goal in life is to make all the borderline competent umps look great.
West actually does well in the players' ump evaluations, I think, although nobody anywhere (especially the players) actually likes him.
Well now, let that be the end of it, Carl.
Well, look at that. You give them five outs, even the Royals can score a run.
I'm "studying" *. What were the extra outs?
*Checking in here & on GameCast.
Nishioka got the out at second, but didn't get the call. Butler was out at first, but wasn't called.
In fairness, both plays were very close.
If Delmon starts pulling the ball properly, it could be a very good thing. I've really been enjoying the doubles.
Angel...Campos.
For a second there, I thought that Angel Hernandez and Joe West were on the same crew. The Dread Pirate's head would probably asplode.
I thought they were...
They just got separated.
Yeah, I was obviously all over that one (FIRST!).
Perk = ANIMAL
Well gents, I'm off to see the last Plopper movie. Enjoy the Twitchy ninth!
Unless the Twins get one here it's going to be someone else.
why are you posting a pic of Matt Capps?
We need a Calvin and Hobbes-style duplicator, and we need to put Perkins into it.
Or a transmogrifier to use on Capps.
Or a wood chipper.
If Steve Buscemi barely fits in a wood chipper, what chance does Capps have?
Scientific progress goes 'boink'?
Atta boy, Cuddy.
Is that where Chuck James came from? Perhaps he's just curing in Rochester.
How did Flash Revere not beat that out?
Wow. That's "fielding the bunt".
Now would be a good time for some Man Muscles.
Pussy single. Le sigh.
Do you suppose that the Swing At Anything Twins can get a hit between them now?
Tiggers and Indians have both lost. Get this one, boys.
Cuddles!
Cuddy go doink!
EM-VEE-PEE
All STAR!!!!
Cuddy Go Single!
effing Uno. Goddamnit. "Contact" play???
Mauer go oops!
That play seems very familiar for some reason...
Huh, rare that an out at home is a net positive.
Edit: Net 'neutral' I suppose. Still rare.
was it a double-play ball???
No, but they probably would've gotten the out at second.
I suppose it maybe could have been, pretty unlikely, though.
Time for the NATHANATOR!!!!!!!!!!!!111one111two11
111one111two11
Hell, Capps could always get the one, two. I'm hoping Nathan can get the one, two, three...
Capps got three outs last night.
I mean, without giving up runs.
This counting thing is hard.
I wish GreekHouse was around tonight...
Alright, Twitchy. Welcome back. Show us what we've been missing.
Nathan not just a hot dog tonite.
Everybody loves a wiener.
Just finished a 7th birthday party for my oldest. 12 young girls running through the house. Im tired to say the least. Party ended with me on the roof holding a pinata for the girls to swing hat. I entertained myself by letting each girl get a hit on it and then lifting it up and tapping the girl on the head.
OKay Joe.
Oh damn Ullger is acting manager.
Could the crowd be any more hyped for Nathan?
that's one.
ONE ROYAL NATHANATED!
Nathan in because Gardy is gone?? I mean he made it very clear that "Capps is our closer". Just some an interesting number. My daughter turns 7 today. Games behind in the AL central - 7. Blown saves for Capps - 7.
He changed his tune today. It's Nathan.
I think it would be hard to be a sports beat writer. The aggressive cynic in me would want so badly to really go after all the bull shit managers push out with such force. That or be very sarcastic looking to just set people off. Like tonight Id love to ask Gardy if the offense did its job and that was the difference in Nathan's performance.
That BS is what makes Gardy a great manager. Instead of blaming one player, or letting the team point fingers, he makes sure they realize they could have done more to allow the team to win. Win as a team, lose as a team. Plus, him adamantly saying that Capps was the closer was his way of making sure that he informed Capps of the "demotion" before announcing it to the media, which is the way it should be.
While I agree with you, Gardy doesn't have a perfect record of not pointing fingers
gardy said today that Nathan is the closer.
Obligatory.
obligatory.
There's the obligatory...
TWO ROYALS NATHANATED!
Two.
Sawed off.
Gutsy steal.
Crax - base hit scores.
Let's take care of Moussaka.
BTW - moussaka featured in future NBB recipe post - keep your eggplant at the ready.
that's the spirit!!!
Pictures--or it didn't happen.
Done and done. Nathan brings puppies.
Welcome back, Nathan.
TWITCHY'S BACK!
Welcome back, Twitchy!!!!!
PUPPIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
LaddieRepko seals the deal.Five more saves to top Aguilera's record.
Hot Dog!
There we go.
Feels like old times again.
Saves! I remember these.