2011 Twins Game Logs

Game #(insert game number here): (insert AAA joke here) vs. (insert detroit or large cat joke here)

76 Comments

("Man this team is bad" joke)

(half-hearted statistical analysis detailing just how bad things have gotten)

(oh, wait... we're batting against Verlander today? We're even more out of luck than usual.)

(Make 190-pitch complete game joke.)

(links to these two Gleeman tweets detailing how the Twins aren't very good at anything)

(threaten to volunteer to do house work with the wife instead of watching game, only to chicken out later because the work she's got planned sucks, and bad baseball is better than no baseball until the 8th inning when we've only got ONE FREAKING RUN AGAIN)

(Delmon Young joke)

(snarky condolences to anyone who watches the game)

I mean, if the Twins can phone it in, why can't I?

76 thoughts on “Game #(insert game number here): (insert AAA joke here) vs. (insert detroit or large cat joke here)”

      1. Be prepared to drive long distances, or fly even longer distances. Alaskans embraced the size of the state and spread out a lot.

        Edit: Lesson learned: don't get a subcompact when you're over six feet tall. I liked the gas mileage, but oof, the Yaris is tiny.

  2. Plane is boarding soon, so it's up to you guys to keep the Twins from breaking the record of one run games. Good luck.

    1. If that turns out to be right, that will be way more impressive than answering a couple of trivia questions correctly.

  5. I think we can now write this down as a loss.
    Final Score
    DET X
    MIN Y
    W: Verlander
    L: Pavano
    [S/BOSO: ???]

    X>3, Y<2
    Not sure if there will be a save or a BOSO. Pavano could give up four or more runs himself.

  6. Ugh. We're going to lose (again) to a team that hits three of their worst four hitters 1-2-3.

  8. Avila is the frontrunner for the 2011 Matt Stairs award for excellence in destroying the Twins.

    2. Heh. I'd been listening on the radio assuming the game was blacked out.

    1. Everyone just wants to make sure they can say they were there when the Twins historically score more than 1-run.

      1. I would likely not be present, but I'm at work. I realize that's backwards, but there you have it.

    1. I imagine it was tough for Leyland to not give Verlander a chance to continue shortening his career.

      1. If Verlander kills his arm and can't start anymore, he'll just be the next closer after Drunky McDancealots.

  23. Did anyone else catch that Daniel Schlereth is Mark's son? He looks like he could pull off the nickname "Stink" just as well as his dad did.

  26. I'm not entirely sure which game I'm more certain the Twins will lose: this one or game 3.

      1. Oof, I hope not. They've already got Aguilera hitting, there's no one left for any more games.

  28. Why did this guy even bother asking Bert if he played fantasy football?

      1. I feel like they should ship him to the Yankees where he can make Cervelli his personal catcher to form the single most obnoxious battery ever.

        1. Is there a level of obnoxiousness that even Yanquis fans couldn't stand?
          Probably not, but that might test it.
          Papelbon has already determined that the BoSox have no such limit.

          Which makes me think: What's with dancing closers?
          Which makes me think: Why do I enjoy endzone dancing? Why a double-standard?
          Which makes me think: Is Punter the Bullpen Catcher of the NFL?
          Which makes me think: I want Nate Dammann to start on Twitter.

Comments are closed.