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December 20, 2013: Ten!

94 Comments

Today marks ten years since the day the Milkmaid and I got married.

Guys...this woman is incredible. Indulge me, if you would. If you wouldn't, that's fine and you can skip past it and talk about beer and grammar and the YouTube video of Miley Cyrus meeting Alfred Einstein and I won't be offended.

The Milkmaid met me at a time that I was quick to rage and impossible to tame. To this day I'm surprised that I was even open to a relationship at the time she came along, but it just felt right. It was a challenge to get something started, because - to make a long story short - a couple of female friends became meddlesome and one of my best friends, through this, believed himself to be dating The Milkmaid. This was an extremely difficult situation where The Milkmaid should have been the one to let him know this wasn't the case (I'm not outlining the whole messy business here unless you make me, but he was led on, and it was due to things on her side). She was afraid of the confrontation and kept this thing burning with me without letting him know. I had to take calls while with my two best friends - one of them, this dude - and say it was someone else because I kept thinking she'd breach the subject.

Despite the auspicious beginnings, things generally went well early. My addictions were an issue, but tapered off (or went away entirely) over the first few years. Worst of all was my addiction with women, which could have killed us off, but didn't as we fought through this thing and survived it (granted, I never "did anything" but only drifted emotionally, though I think this is much worse than a physical transgression, and so does she). We fell more in love afterward, and endured through financial problems and a few pretty strong differences in worldview.

The last three or four years with her have been extremely good. We laugh together constantly and I look forward to seeing her literally every night. In the back of my mind I still think about how I might screw this up someday, but now that my relationship with her has been longer than all my others put together, I'm starting to think she's pretty committed to it.

May you all have it this good, Citizens. Always.

94 thoughts on “December 20, 2013: Ten!”

  1. Awesome. LoisLane and I have only known each other for just over 3 years and have had our struggles of course, some on me, some on her , and some on both of us. And we have a baby. It's crazy. Most of my friends, including my brother, knew their spouses for over 5 years if not 10 before getting married. We're still getting to know each other. I'm optimistic it gets better 🙂

    Congrats! The girls are lucky to have loving parents.

    2. In my experience, the toughest times were when each of the babies were about one year old. Still dependent on us for so much and we'd been so focused on the babies that our relationship withered a bit and the adrenaline from "Got a baby!" had disappeared.
      We noticed that on the first two and tried to avoid that to some success with the next two. (Well for number 3 there was the "Got a new house!" and "Got mold in the new house!" adrenaline rushes.)

      1. I will second this. About a year in on the kids, we were both so worn down - especially Philosofette - that neither of us was focused on being a good spouse. It led to some challenges. But when you come through those challenges together, and are open and communicate well about them (eventually, if not on the front end)... well, yeah. You get stronger.

        1. I shared this with a friend and former co-worker when he was at the same point, but just much worse than I had ever been. It seemed to give him hope. Been trying to share that with others.

    3. Congratulations on ten years, spooky. Hope you and the Milkmaid have many, many more happy years together.

  3. Congrats to you and the Missus, Spooky.
    From all I've gained from what you've said here and elsewhere, you found a good one, both particularly for you and in general.
    If I were Hungry, I would quickly slap together an image of a Conger smiling with the text overlay of "Congrats on Ten Years! Mr. and Mrs. Milk" or something like that. You'll just have to imagine the text.

    Joke Spoiler SelectShow

      1. No. SPOOKY DON'T UNSPOILER THAT. I DIDN'T DO THAT TO YOU.
        I meant Hank Conger.

        Honesty SelectShow

        1. It is crossing a line. Unluckily for me, I had already opened it. I wish I could laugh at it, honestly. I do see how it should be fun and whimsical.

          1. So sorry. Didn't mean for that to happen but I should have been more careful.

            Hungry, Hank Conger is my way of dancing around Spooky's phobia without triggering it, while also picking another catcher to my arsenal of mascots.
            Google his name and look at his pictures from his youth. So cute you just want to grab his cheeks.

  4. The work year will be over in a couple of hours. (Actually, I will be working a little b/n Xmas and NYears, but my office hours are done at 4:30. By 4:30, I will be more than halfway home. (I'm leaving early! Don't tell anyone!)

    This marks three full years that I've done this commute (since Aug. 30, 2010). Does it seem that long? I've gotten so used to it that when I'm home it seems like I've been home a long time, even if I just got home the night before. When I'm in ND, it doesn't seem like I've been here very long. Have I been here four days? Or eight? Or ten? Can't really tell. (It's four days.)

    I will enjoy the next three weeks at home before I start the process over again in January. I probably spent about 140 nights in ND this year and about the same next year. Can I continue this for the next 12-14 years? I don't know. I never thought I'd do it for three years, but I can't see changing now.

    1. I probably spend 30 nights a year in Omaha, but in 2-day intervals it doesn't seem like much. I'm sure the rest of the family is okay with me out of their hair every now and again.

    4. I was more excited about Pinto getting a chance to be the full-time starter.

      Doesn't mean he won't be. Suzuki was supposed to back up Ramos in Washington but Ramos got hurt, so he ended up being the starter more often. I imagine the Twins will have Pinto at DH against lefties when he's not catching and give Kubel or Arcia a day off.

    5. I'm fine with this if Pinto is actually given a full shot at being the regular catcher. My fear is that the first time Pinto goes 1-for-8 or makes an error Gardy will start bouncing him in and out of the lineup to play Suzuki.

    6. John Buck John Buck John Buck John Buck... John Buck... John Buck? John Buck???? John Buck???!!?!?!?!
      🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 :9

    7. I've been driving a Suzuki for the past 6 years, and I must say it's one of the most unreliable cars I've ever had.

    1. During his time with the A's I know Mariner fans dreaded him, referring to him as "Kurt Clutch." The announcers suggested this was a nickname he'd picked up around the league as well, though I'm at the mercy of Niehaus and Sims on that one. I can see this being a contributing factor in the signing.

      1. I liked him just fine with the A's, but he's always been limited at the plate. Now he's helpless at the plate. He's Butters without the pitching.

        1. Sometimes I think the Twins employ a "But he was good before" mentality a bit too often, like some of the guys in my money fantasy FB league. Sometimes it pays off, but more often than not, you're stuck offering platitudes such as "Everyone likes the results."

        2. Whoa now. He's not that bad. OPS over last three years 150 points higher than Butera's career average.

          1. In his 15 games with Oakland last year he had an OPS of .888, SSS theater but I think we should probably get on planning that parade route.

                  1. Replacement level is replacement level. If he's projected for 0 wins, then you would project $0 over the minimum, plus or minus some. The minimum is somewhere below $600k I think, so a base salary below a million is defensible. At $2.75 million, that means the Twins are projecting him for about half a win.

                    1. Ok then. So possibly some slight overpay if he's replacement, but not even that much. Plus, intangibles!

                      Snark aside, I'm not really troubled by this, I guess. Neither am I excited about it.

                    2. At $2.75 million, that means the Twins are projecting him for about half a win.

                      Sorcery! We all know the Twins' front office doesn't practice Black Magick!

            2. Add to the poor framing that Suzuki's only thrown out 26% of runners attempting to steal over the course of his career. Last year runners went 58 for 65 against Suzuki.

    2. 1 year contract, not expensive, basically a placeholder for Pinto.
      Kinda of a move Im not too worked up about. Although, there goes my hope for Herrmann catching 150 games 🙁

    3. Yeah, I kind of like the move. It's good insurance, but nothing that's going to stop Pinto from getting playing time if/when he deserves it.

  8. My sister has coughed up blood a few more times, and has ended up back in the hospital. She'll be having an embolism, or something like that. Hopefully today, though it's already been delayed because somehow it didn't end up on a hospital schedule. Looks like we'll be celebrating Christmas in the hospital this weekend. I know she's terrified, because she doesn't exactly know what the procedure entails, etc. Some have described it as fairly minor, some have made it seem less so (communication could definitely be better in this unit of the hospital...). Anyway, prayers and good vibes are much appreciated.

    1. Prayers and wishes of good luck to you and your family, Matt. Hoping you get some good news as a Christmas gift.

      1. Aye, it'd be nice. On Saturday we're going to the in-laws for a moved-up Christmas gathering. Why was it moved up? Because Philosofette's grandpa is going into hospice next week. He's ready, which makes it easier, but knowing we're going to a Christmas that will certainly be his last isn't exactly easy. Then, the hospital the next day for my sister.

        1. Uffda. That's a lot to handle any time of year, but from experience I'll tell you it's even more keenly felt around a major holiday. I'll be remembering your family in my prayers. Hang in there, Philos.

  9. Guys, if you're on teh Twitters and are at all interested in ballparks, especially comparing old and new parks, you should be following @MLBcathedrals.

  11. also, hot breaking news from Florida.

    'Spoiler' SelectShow

    1. Ugh. It makes me feel sick to hear this. Hopefully it's resolved quickly.

      Knowing you, and therefore the bogusness of such a claim, I was tempted to make a joke, but... ick. We had a good family friend wrongfully accused of the the same a decade or so ago. It got cleared up, but it was rotten.

          1. Work has been great. The administrator of the company found me and expressed her condolences and thanked me for my work.

            1. ::cries::

              Good for you.

              This week I had 3 hearings scheduled in 2 days, but got in trouble (like "here are our practice standards, here are the ways you violated them, you are expected to adhere to them, or else") for not returning a phone call within those 24 hours. The call was... well, trivial (non-client, non-adversary, no urgency, etc.). But the lady called in and my supervisor had to transfer the call to me because it wrongly got routed to her, so that was inconvenient, and resulted in the wrist slap.

              Yesterday's conversation about prioritizing important stuff struck a chord with me.
              ::whimper::

              1. I wish I could retroactively spoiler the above, as now I just sound whiny (nothing new, I suppose). I only meant to contrast "supportive working environment" with "unsupportive." Instead I got caught up in complaining. Sigh.

    2. whoops. Oy.

      Now I feel bad about the joke below. Best wishes for a speedy and damage-limiting dismissal.

  14. Browsing through booklists and whatnot, and ran across this. Not only are there some interesting books listed, check out the name of the guy who wrote the intro.

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