72 thoughts on “January 13, 2016: This Zero Key”

1. So apparently you're supposed to clean the stove burners every once in a while. And, in case you were wondering, baking soda works quite well to keep everyone alive.

2. Thanks for all the suit suggestions yesterday

   1. Indeed. I'm considering branching out the next time I get a new suit.

      1. Yeah, if anyone does that Tailor-Uber, please post on your experience.

3. Are there any musicians here who would be interested in an old-school tuner? I've got a Korg AT-2 that's free to anyone who would like it.

   1. While we have a (rather expensive) cello, my daughter no longer plays it. I like to refer to it as my retirement account in the corner. Hey, it's better than my wife's Beanie Baby 401(k).

   2. Is that a brand of Imperial walker?

      1. Black Label.

4. remember this the next time you see a facebook argument about players making too much money.

5. So... anyone planning on winning the lottery tonight?

   1. My office has invested in a pool of tickets. I put in my $2.
      My dad usually buys one ticket (proceeds to be shared across him, me and my brother) when the jackpot gets ridonkulous.

      So, I got that going for me too. I'm already counting my millions.

   2. I've never bought a ticket, so no. If I ever somehow had a billion dollars dumped on me, I think it would totally mess up my life.

      1. Oh but what a way to go.

      2. On the contrary, I think you'd find a lot of ways to do good with that kind of money.

         1. I would try, or at least I hope I would, but how in the world would you even go about giving away a billion dollars? You'd want it to go to some organization that would actually use the money wisely and well. You probably wouldn't want it to all go to one place--I don't think I would, anyway. I think it'd be a tremendous headache to try to give away that kind of money.

            1. I have read that you could divide the $1.4 billion to give every man, woman and child in 'murica $4.33 million!!!111one111!!!

               1. There are only 323 men, women, and children (and a 13-week fetus) in 'murica?

                  1. Arithmetic on teh Interwebs follows its own logic.

                  2. If, as in olden dayes, a Billion is a Million Million, then ye mathe workes.

            2. You could just follow Buffet'style lead and give it all to the Gates Foundation. Let Bill do the work of figuring out how to dive it up.

            3. If you take the annuity, it's about $22M a year for 30 years, so basically you'd become a star baseball player with a really long career.

               But I'm with you and I didn't buy a ticket (and never have bought a lottery ticket). My reasoning is that I feel confident that I wouldn't win and if I'm going to give away money, I'd rather just donate some money to a non-profit in the area that I support.

               Many people would probably say this makes me no fun. They're probably right. 🙂

               1. The tough part about winning the lottery would be sorting out all of the new friends and family that you'd have.

   3. I bought a few tickets, but that's not exactly planning to win. I don't even want the jackpot, just a nice $100,000 winner so I can pay St. Thomas tuition for a couple more years.

      1. It would be cool to win, but the responsibility that comes with it would be tremendous.

         I am hopeful that the winner(s) will use the windfall to be insanely generous to worthy causes. In my mind, being debt-free and able to give generously are the upsides to a lottery.

   4. Yeah, a bunch of my co-workers are putting a couple of bucks towards it, so I figured why not. If the office weren't abuzz about it, I'd honestly have no idea that the jackpot was so high. I really don't pay attention to the Powerball at all.

   5. I'd buy a lot of undeveloped land and frequently disappear.

      1. Much of that land would go to the Nature Conservancy when I check out of this world. Maybe just when I start slowing down, to avoid estate taxes.

      2. Maybe I could do the Noah Stryker thing. What's the biggest year for an entire family?

   6. I have grand plans for the first $4-5Million. After that, I guess I'm setting up a bunch of charities for a long time, because I'll be damned if I know what to do with the rest.

      1. You could take up a hobby. I hear world domination is popular with the billionaires.

   7. Yes. I'd probably move my parents somewhere slightly more hospitable and move somewhere cool with J. Then a billion dollars of very conspicuous consumption!!!!11!

      'Spoiler'	SelectShow
      I'd finish school, pay off any of our debts, actually move somewhere cool, then do a ton of charity work. Probably setting up my own non-profit type thing to designate where the money goes.

      1. Booze, women, fast cars. The rest I'd probably just blow.

         1. Love that line.

            1. George Best for the win. Although it sounds like something that'd been said before by some wit in the 1920s or 1930s.

               1. I oogled it yesterday thinking the same thing.

   8. I think the hardest part for me would be to figure out how to manage my relationships. Obviously I would set up my parents and mother-in-law and I'm sure I'd share with my brother as well. But after that? Do I help out my cousins? Aunts and uncles? Do I help out friends in need? If I do, am I enabling something worse?

      All I know is I would start a production company and hire David Fincher to direct a bunch of Spooky scripts.

      1. All I know is I would start a production company and hire David Fincher to direct a bunch of Spooky scripts.

         Oh hell yes.

         1. I would do something similar, but I would first tell him I was hiring James Cameron to direct and Hayden Christensen to play the lead role just to see his reaction.

            1. Kevin Smith and John Cusack

               1. David Lynch and Steven Seagal

                  1. I would almost pay money to see that mash-up.

                  2. This is quality trolling, gang.

                     (Especially from Beau, but these mash-ups are all scary (though like Brian, I would almost have to see the result of Lynch/Seagal))

   9. I jumped in on an office pool, because what the hell, eh?

      I think it's pretty obvious what I would do with that money.

      1. Vikings season tickets?

         1. All of them.

            1. 

      2. Actually, if I had the money to throw away on it, I'd totally open up a Brewpub/curling club. Restaurant/bar on the ground floor, ice in the basement. Would definitely need a master brewer.

         1. A brewery/curling club is an idea me and my buddy have floated (errr, more or less. Frozen water and all) before. It would be quite the venture.

            1. I may fund this with my winnings, if you present a decent enough proposal. That is, at least marker on a placemat. No crayons on a napkin, that's just childish.

               1. I was going to put the business plan on the back of my non-winning ticket.

                  1. Ironically, making it a winning ticket!

               2. Markers can bleed. Crayon is watersafe.

   10. Crap. I didn't win.

   11. I would take the lump sum. Give some away, set up some things for charities, then I would move to Mauritius. I live a pretty solitary life as it is, mind as well be solitary in the warmth.

       1. I like your style, DW.

       2. You do realize that the Dodo is extinct, right?
          (I assume there's no other reason to go to Mauritius.)

   12. If I win / just won I'll set up a WGOM grant. Your half baked ideas, this time with money.

       1. Nice ... we've had this discussion before, haven't we? Some altruism was involved methinks.

6. Lawrence Phillips has been found dead in prison at age forty. May he rest in peace, because he doesn't seem to have found much peace on earth.

   1. Wow. What a waste of a life.

      1. And a surprise to no one. There was a CNN sidebar that said Former NFL player found dead in prison. I immediately said to myself, Phillips.

   2. Follow the link to the story about his letters from prison. Some interesting, compelling reading.

      1. He was right on both counts.

7. speaking of lottery winners, the Rams are moving back to L.A. This is an extraordinary piece to be showing up on the nfl.com website. and I mean that un-ironically.

8. I've pondered what I'd do if I won the lottery for years, which is odd since I don't play the lottery.

   I think I'd tell a very small amount of people that it had happened. Maybe four in my family, plus eight or ten friends. And I honestly don't know what I'd do with it.

   1. I would hire a security team to protect my kids. I would fear some nut job would hold them for ransom.

      1. Ugh. I hadn't considered this type of possibility. Ick.

9. Mild traumatic brain injury results from soldiers being exposed to repeated bomb blasts in a war zone. The article compares the effects to those seen in boxers. I wonder if it is similar to what happens to football players.

10. So ... This Wolves game is kinda fun. Who'd of thunk it?

    1. The Wolves cant go 0-the rest of the season.....I think.

11. Chino Hills? That effer STOLE MY MONEY!

    1. That's less than 15 miles from my place of work.

       IT COULD HAVE BEEN MEEEE!!!!!1!!1!!!

       (If I had actually bought a ticket, or had a reason to go to that area, or had ever been to that convenience store. So, maybe not so much...)

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