2012 Twins Game Log

2012 Game 160: Gemini at Cyanocitta Cristata

154 Comments

First Pitch - 6:07 p.m. CT
Television - FSN

INTEROFFICE MEMO
To: Terry Ryan
From: Twins Fans (aka The Job Creators)
Re: Why Our Team Sucks

1. Starting pitching
2. Starting pitching
3. Starting pitching
4. Drew Butera

You have six months to fix this. The clock is ticking.

Play Ball!

154 thoughts on “2012 Game 160: Gemini at Cyanocitta Cristata”

  1. Welcome to Spring Training! Here are your lineups:

    Twins (66-93)
    1. Ben Revere, CF
    2. Jamey Carroll, 2B
    3. Joe Mauer, DH
    4. Chris Parmelee, 1B
    5. Trevor Plouffe, 3B
    6. Matt Carson, RF
    7. Chris Herrmann, LF
    8. Drew Butera, C
    9. Pedro Florimon, SS

    Pitching: Esmerling Vasquez, RHP

    Blue Jays (70-89)
    1. Rajai Davis, RF
    2. Colby Rasmus, CF
    3. Brett Lawrie, 3B
    4. Adam Lind, 1B
    5. Yunel Escobar, DH
    6. Kelly Johnson, 2B
    7. Adeiny Hechavarria, SS
    8. Jeff Mathis, C
    9. Anthony Gose, LF

    Aaron Laffey, LHP

  2. at least with Herrmann, unlike that pussy, he comes with experience at playing something other than catcher.

  3. In yesterday's game log, Rhu-Ru linked to the 1976 AL batting race stats. Looking at the page, I had forgotten how deep that team was offensively. Carew was insane, of course, but other Twins pop up all over the Top Ten categories - Bostock #4 in BA and #5 in triples, Braun (!) #8 in OBP (and that was even after adding "ghost" PAs to get him up to the minimum, #10 in SB%; Ford #9 in slugging, #10 in Runs, #9 in HRs, #2 in HBP; Hisle #4 in RBIs and #9 in sac flies; Wynegar (!) #9 in BBs; Randall #4 in sacrifice hits, #5 in HBP.

    I was a young Twins fan at the time and just didn't recall how good a year Disco Danny Ford had... or that Steve Braun put up.

  14. Man, Dick and Bert are giving it to each other pretty hard tonight.

  17. don't bring in Burnett! don't bring in Burnett! don't bring in Burnett! don't bring in Burnett! don't bring in Burnett! don't bring in Burnett! don't bring in Burnett! don't bring in Burnett! don't bring in Burnett! don't bring in Burnett! don't bring in Burnett! don't bring in Burnett! don't bring in Burnett! don't bring in Burnett! don't bring in Burnett! don't bring in Burnett! don't bring in Burnett! don't bring in Burnett!

            1. It took a while, but it came together decently at the end. Not my best work, but I've submitted things that I liked a lot less.

  21. Revere 40 bases. Best since Carew.

    Agent Smith smokes out a ribeye. I approve this ad.

          2. Actually, Knoblauch's records all belong to the Texas Rangers, so Provus is correct even if Knoblauch was a Twin at the time he stole those bases.

  23. the last time Burnett struck 3 batters out in an appearance was Apr 12. He pitched 2 innings.

      1. Nope, like every other starter who had one or two good starts for the team this September, he's pencilled in for opening day roster.
        I think he'll get an extension. Three years, $9.5M sounds about right.

        1. Okay, the eighth innnninng wasnn't the time. But, if four of Rreverre, Carrrroll, Mauerr, Parrmelee, Plouffe, orr Carrsonn cann rreach base inn the nninnth innnninng...

          Crrap! Defennsive substitutionn: Spann to rreplace Herrrrmann inn the outfield.
          He'll have to wait unntil tomorrrrow nnight.

  26. So, who do people here predict to be the final out of the season? A Blue Jay? Or which Twins batter? I'll be at the Cardinals game tomorrow and probably miss all of Wednesday night's game as well, so this game might be it for me.

  27. Cabrera with a home run in his third plate appearance. I think that makes him first outright for homers.

      1. We're going to do this fucking thing over again, because I just fucked it up.

        Giving it hard to Bert?

      1. I hope he strikes out 10 times in the next 2 games, and then gets drunk and injures himself in some way which keeps him out of the playoffs.

        1. Despite the Clevelands lying down for the Sox, the KCRs are assuming the same pose for the Tigs. Detroit magic number is about 0.1.

        2. Hoping the Royals come back to tie the game and the game goes to 18 innings and the Royals win and Cabrera goes 0-6 for the rest of the game and then everyone realizes what the Spanish words on his eyeblack mean.

  30. wth? Provus repeats that it's the first 40 SB season since Carew in '73, and then says that Knoblauch holds the single season record with 62 in 1997. What's wrong with this picture?

        1. missed your reply. See, when the Expansion Senators were created after the original Senators moved to Minnesota to become the Twins, the Expansion Senators, who are now the Texas Rangers, kept some of the Washington Records as their "History". This is why there's no Walter Johnson statue near Target Field, and never will be. Unfortunately, the arrangement was poorly constructed and the move of the Montréal Expos to Washington to become the Nationals also moved all of the Twins player stats from 1995-1999 to the Rangers. While the Twins' team records still stand. Selig probably should have and could have done something about it, but his official response was that stats and the awards attached to them are the sacred legacy of the game, and that he no more has the power to move statistics from one team to another than he does to decide that a player would be ineligible for postseason awards or statistical accolades on account of them breaking the rules of the game. However, it wasn't expressed at all verbally, but completely through body language:
          Shrug Selig
          (Remember, this was in 2008, when the interest was in maintaining Tom Hicks's franchise value. Not in maintaining the "purity" of the sport from the scourge of Performance-Enhancing Devices.)

            1. Read the whole thing:

              Unfortunately, the arrangement was poorly constructed and the move of the Montréal Expos to Washington to become the Nationals also moved all of the Twins player stats from 1995-1999 to the Rangers. While the Twins' team records still stand.

              Are you secretly nibbish?

  32. Bert: No bullpen in the AL has thrown more innings.

    Royals relievers: 553 IP.
    Twins relievers: 548 IP.

    The Twins do not have 6.1 relief innings today. Well, they might before the game ends.

  34. Crrap. I almost mentionned that this was the point in the Yannkees game where Perrkinns gave up the homer to Andruw Jones.

  35. Did we all forget that the Twins CANNOT beat the Jays in Toronto? The are like Yankees northwest.

    2. The Twins' misery in 2011 started in Toronto, and they faced the Yankees in the next series.

      This year the second to the last series was against the Yankees, and they end their 2012 misery in Toronto.

      Hopefully this means this cycle of suck is now closed. Twins 2013 World Champions!

              1. Sometimes, you try to put out the fire, and sometimes, you gotta know when to pack up your hose and let it burn, you guys.

              1. funny, I saw an episode of No Reservations tonight in which Anthony Bourdain ate, umm, ass, stuffed with tripe, while in Burgundy. His description, refined as always: "tastes like ass."

  39. Stupid [redacted] bunts. This might have been a good time to have Mastroianni run instead.

  58. Drew Butera, the defensive specialist, hits the runner in the back running down to first?

    His ass was bailed out by the terrible umps. Thank god for no robot umps.

    Sweet Drew is arb eligible next year. They need to cut him.

  61. So basically the Twins lose because Butera allows a passed ball, and Duensing sucks.

    I f---ing hate this team so much.

      1. They were just awful, this team seems to have a little fight at times. But they still lose. I'm not sure which is worse, but the last two seasons have been very little fun.

        1. just a few reasons to like this team better than last year's:

          - Blackburn is no longer a starter
          - Capps is no longer the closer
          - Nishi is no longer a Twin
          - no crap EVERY SINGLE DAY questioning Joe's ability/desire to play, only about his value
          - much less Pavano
          - SEND HIM!!
          - a ham that's willing, powdered Doumits, and Plouffe!da

          1. - Nishi is no longer a Twin
            You're making HPR cry.*

            *This may also be of questionable veracity.

  65. Can they let Capps start tomorrow? Give him up to two innings. Smallstock does better when he's not starting.

  67. Two games left. Let's enjoy them, because the winter is long. We'll just have to settle for 68-94.

      1. Yes, it does. I wasn't all that disappointed when .500 became impossible, but I was really hoping the Twins could at least win 70.

  68. Not getting all the way to the bottom in all columns, but it's uncomfortably close.

    Race to the Bottom
    Losses Year(s)
    102 1982
    99 2011
    97 1999
    94 1997 2012
    Race to the Bottom (2 year style)
    Losses Years
    194 1982-83
    193 2011-12
    Race to the Bottom (Home Losses)
    Losses Years
    50 1999 2012

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