134 thoughts on “May 22, 2014: The End”

  2. My son is finishing up 8th grade and my daughter finishes 7th grade. Can't believe my son will start high school next year. That and the fact he is 5'10" and just about ready to shoot past his old man in height. On the other hand, neither teenager has developed that "teenage" mentality yet. Both got up at 5:00 yesterday to cook me breakfast in bed for my birthday. I know the other shoe may drop soon on that.

    1. As someone who was also about 5'10" in 9th grade and is a robust 6'0" now, I hope he continues the upward trend more than I did. (if he plays sports, anyway. It really sucked when others caught up in size.)

      1. I hear you. I grew 4 inches and 30 lbs during 8th grade. Unfortunately for my NBA plans, that trend did not continue.

        1. You are tall enough to play in the NBA, man. Just not good enough. Kind of like me.

          I suppose if you'd have gotten to 7', though, you would have had your ticket punched. #oneinsix

      2. My brother:

        9th grade: 5'5
        10th grade: 5'5
        11th grade: 5'7
        12th grade: 6'1
        Now: 6'3.5

        He was really a late bloomer, but he caught most everyone.

        1. 9th grade: 5'1"
          11th: 6'0"
          College: 6'1"
          Now: 6' 3/4" (stupid rugby compressing my spine*)

          *May not be a valid medical deduction

        2. I was almost exactly like that. I kept growing through my junior year in college, too, and ended up right about 6' 3". It played merry hell with my tennis serve. Every year, I had to adjust to the extra inch(es).

        1. This site is the NSA's wet dream, just in the last two weeks it learned how tall we all are and how much we grew when we were in high school and the location of all our scars.

            1. Pffft. They already had all that:
              Height on driver's license
              Scars from CPT codes on your HCFA 1500's

              Now what were you thinking when you went to the office, that'd be something.

          2. I just have to say that Pepper is one of the best things to happen here. She's like Tatum O'Neal in The Bad News Bears.

            2. The Bad News Bears analogy collapses when you realize we are a team full of Ogilvies.

    1. Jeff A
      April 16, 2011 at 11:04 am Log in to Reply

      I'll be happy to contribute, too, although probably not at the level I have been here. I'll also say, though, that as we talk about what's next, feel free to say if you feel things like the birthday list have run their course. I love this place, but the new place does not have to be exactly like this one if that's not what's wanted.

      A-HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

      1. As Ring Lardner once said, the only thing funnier than how things don't work out is how they do.

    2. I think that giving up the old site was a very good idea. I've enjoyed this here much more than I enjoyed that there.

    4. I remember that day. I was mostly a lurker at the time, so the initial disappointment I felt was a bit surprising. Then amazement at how quickly the new basement was ready to go.

  4. You know what? All of a sudden, I feel like it's a good time to be a Twins fan. At least, it's not a horrible time. Maybe they will fall on their faces, but this club seems to know how to win, if that's a thing. Plus, Hughes gives a guy confidence every fifth day. Been a while since they've had a guy like that.

    1. For the first time in four years, if I have to miss a game for work or whatnot, it bothers me a little. I rather like the way they are now - they're a legitimate threat to win any game I watch, but not with high enough expectations that the losses have a negative effect on my mental health.

      2. they're a legitimate threat to win any game I watch, but not with high enough expectations that the losses have a negative effect on my mental health.

        I agree. While it's more enjoyable to watch a playoff run (which we're clearly not going to be doing this year), it turns out that watching a lot of close, competitive, low stakes games is pretty damned enjoyable.

        1. I'm a compiler, too, and I love that we also have some players putting up legitimate numbers: Dozier's runs, Plouffe!s doubles, four players with 25+ RBIs, Perk's saves total, Joe's BA (eventually) -- all kinds of stats to monitor

          The two numbers that have me encouraged are Dozier and Joe's run totals. When's the last time the Twins have had anyone ranked in runs scored? Between that and the several players with nice RBI totals, it means that part of the lineup is doing something right.

          1. When's the last time the Twins have had anyone ranked in runs scored?

            1997. Chuck Knoblauch's 117 placed him third in the AL
            although Michael Cuddyer scored 102 in 2006, just off the Top 10

          2. Having non-Joe guys showing up on the offensive category leader boards is a treat. Will be even better if/when the Joe guy shows up too.

    2. Team TWTW+ of at 108. Not super, but good, and much better than past years.
      Deduno->Rotation/Pelfrey->DL is the small version of releasing the Cuban Dictators.

      1. I may need to explain.
        Adjusted TWTW+ is The Will To Win normalized to competition, ballpark*, position, contract status, compensation, hometown, game situation, standings situation, and era.
        The scale is arbitrarily set with 100 as league average.
        A player (or team in this case) with TWTW+ of 110 has 10% more The Will To Win than league average, while a player with TWTW+ of 50 has half The Will To Win of league average and probably doesn't care if the team wins or loses, so long as his statline looks good.
        A player with TWTW+ of 20 or lower doesn't even care if his statline looks good, so long as he gets paid, gonna end up playing in Korea next year either way, bro.

        *Different ballparks have different levels of dirt in the infield and warning tracks, and different sizes of outfields and foul territory in which to make gritty plays.

        1. This TWTW+ stat doesn't seem to be quite arbitrary enough- I think you should add in manager ejections, ratio of headfirst slides to feet first slides, and probably a few other key performance indicators.

          1. No, those are in there. I listed what it normalizes against, variations that have to be corrected for.
            I already went into ballpark, but here's how I understand a few of them:
            Hometown: Easy to play hard for hometown team, harder for hometown rival. Imagine Mauer on the Sox.
            Game situation: some relief pitchers have more opportunities to will their team to win, while others can only do their best with the mop-up duties assigned them. Can't penalize them (completely*) for that. Some batters may come up to bat more often in a season when the game is already nearly decided in their favor, while others may have more opportunities when the at bat will decide which team wins and which loses.
            Contract Status: Players show more TWTW in contract years, so that's discounted. Less in the first year of new contracts, so that's given more weight.
            Standings: What does it matter if it's August and the team's already eliminated? I'll tell you, it matters to the player with high TWTW+.
            Era: Players sure seemed to care more in the past, like all of our old time heroes or current announcers. Players today just don't hate other teams with the same venom today. They don't put their permanent health on the line for meaningless foul balls. They don't run out grounders. So the model needs to correct for the changing culture of the game.
            Position: shortstops and centerfielders get more opportunities and cover more territory, so it's going to look like they have more Will To Win.

            *They get partial penalization because if they had enough TWTW, they'd demand to be put in for those situations.

            I guess it could normalize across managers, but there's so little turnover I assume it's hard to regress against it.

              2. In light of his upcoming retirement couldn't we rename TWTW the Jeter? In your example above, you could say the Twins have a Jeter of 108.

                1. sorry, but I don't think it is possible to capture in a single stat all of what Jeter means to baseball.

                  1. Maybe not a stat, but Joe Pos did come up with this:

                    Jeterate (JEET-ur-ayt), verb, to praise someone for something which he or she is entirely unworthy of praise.

            2. How about throwing teammates with lower TWTW under the bus? That's gotta count for something!

    1. That was fun ... err, WTH is Mario thinking?
      Re: a Manhattan - I have no problem with using bourbon instead of rye and an exact 2:1 ratio of whiskey to sweet vermouth is my preference, but again, not a huge problem with a bit more alcohol...but all that combined with this?

      shake it for 30 seconds

      why dilute the hell outta the thing and bruise the booze in the process!?

      1. The vieux carre referenced is more of a 10 am kind of drink, but who's keeping score.

        1. No kidding! And also, everyone knows that adding cognac to a cocktail with Benedictine is duplicative!*

          But seriously, I know the shaken v. stirred debate is grounds for a blood feud in some locales, but that Vieux Carré sounds amazing no matter the preparation.

          *not really - I just made that up

          1. this whole thread sends me back to yesterday(?) and that Parks & Rec(?) clip of "no wrong way to consume alcohol".

              1. Speaking of nothing snooty, meat (or anyone else), ever had Frio Light? It's $1 cheaper than Lone Star for a sixer of tall boys. Not ever going to be my go-to but for an 8th or 9th beer it'll do.

                1. Upon further review (read: 3rd can), this beer is nearly useless. It is nearly clear in color, with no discernible taste nor alcohol content. In the spirit of the old saying, all this beer is good for is renting it.

    1. Whenever I can (like when I was in Spain earlier this month), I watch a ton of handball. This looks equally cool.

      1. The only thing I'm not loving about it is old school Iowa girls basketball style of having two entire teams divided by half court. Running the length of the floor would make it better, though I imagine scoring would jump significantly. And since you'd have less total players, but more possible players in your half of the court, you might need to widen the court a bit.

      2. Team handball is a lot of fun to watch. One of my favorite niche Summer Olympic sports. Too bad it's not bigger here in the US.

        We had a German exchange student stay with us one year. She said she liked to play handball, so we went to the racquetball courts. Neither one of us could figure out what the other one meant. That was my first introduction to handball of that style.

        1. I remember playing team handball in 9th grade (when I was bigger than everyone else) and dominating. Good times.

          1. Yes, the handball "unit" in phy.ed. was always one of the best two weeks of the year. So much fun.

    2. Reminds me a ton of netball, which I was pretty good at when I played in Dublin. The lads gave me stick for playing a "girls game", but I was on a co-ed team with a couple of real cuties, and the girls on the other teams were equally hot.

      httpv://youtu.be/bgr2zmq9CUk

        1. Essentially. And I played a ball-hawking "free safety"* which was a lot of fun against an average height of about 5'5".

          *Not the position real name, but I forget what it really is called.

        2. Looks almost like a cross between basketball and ultimate frisbee.

          which also describes Iowa girls basketball.

          1. Which they don't play anymore, by the way. My wife's cousins played that style when they were in HS, but it was phased out about ten years back.

      2. There must be some offsides rule or something?
        I couldn't understand why the ref was chirping and what his chirps meant.

        1. It's a mostly non-contact sport, so a lot of whistles are for bumping people in mid-air or for not giving them a meter after they get the ball. In that case, the offender must "stand down" and position themselves next to the person fouled and can't move until the ball is touched again after the free pass. You can also get whistled for walking with the ball or crossing into a part of the court you're not allowed.

          But in general, yes, there is a lot of whistling.

    3. "Other kids' games are all such a bore!
      They've gotta have rules and they gotta keep score!
      Calvinball is better by far!
      It's never the same! It's always bizarre!
      You don't need a team or a referee!
      You know that it's great, 'cause it's named after me!"
      (Backup-Singing "Rumma Tum Tums")

  7. Twins strikeouts leaders:

    Hughes - 47k - 54.1 IP
    Nolasco - 37 - 55.2
    Perkins - 31 - 22.1
    Deduno - 29 35.2
    Correia - 26 - 48.1

      1. currently, Perk is leading the staff in RAA per statcorner at 8.9 in only 99 BF (Hughes is the nominal leader at 9.8 in 225 BF; only Deduno at +1.2 and Fien at +0.9 are also in the black on this measure).

        for comparison, Joe Nathan is at +0.6, Greg Holland +6.0, Koji Uehara +5.4, Grant Balfour -1.9, Sean Doolittle +5.8, Fernando Rodney -0.3, Tommy Hunter -2.3.

    1. “Work great for livestock feeders or beverage coolers,”

      Yeah, the visible urine stains make "beverage cooler" a bad selling point.

  11. Random tsa bag check on my way out of Seattle. Good times. Ubes, you live in a pretty cool town. Now to pass through the poop shoot of Houston.

      1. Passed through the poop shoot of Houston at 4 or 5? I'm surprised he survived.

  12. Prince Fielder done for the season. Let the Mauer trade rumors begin. (Just kidding, I think). Seriously, though, would the Rangers be interested in Willingham?

    1. Holy shit, right? I know Donovan hasn't been lighting it up for LA lately, but that's a shocker. I also think it's fairly shocking that Yedlin made it over Evans, who started a ton in qualifying, even when Geoff Cameron was available. Hell, even as recently as the Mexico game, Klinsmann started Evans over Yedlin, and Evans is more versatile than Yedlin. At least the Sounders get Evans back sooner rather than later, which should help them.

      I'm not sure I agree with Davis over Donovan--Davis brings good service, but Donovan has more international experience and also has pretty good service, plus I'm not all that impressed with the rest of Davis' game.

      1. Although, I am reminded of Branch Rickey's maxim that it's better to trade a player a year too early than a year too late, which could be what Klinsmann is doing here.

  16. So I have spent a lot of time (read: too much) reading Kevin Love traded rumors since the lottery. With that said, if the Wolves can land the #1 pick and any of Thompson/Waiters I think the Wolves take should take that deal.

    1. so it would Love for Andrew Wiggans and spare parts
      unless the Wolves sell the #1 pick for a bag of magic beans

    2. does that even pencil out in the Trade Machine?

      Tristan Thompson looks like he's about at his ceiling. He's a borderline starting PF. Would you take him over Jason Thompson from the Kings, for example? Their numbers are pretty similar. And I sure as hell wouldn't want to build a team around Jason Thompson.

      Waiters is slightly more interesting.

      Are any of the presumptive top 3 guys (Wiggins, Embiid, Parker) guys that you really think have legit shots at being superstars in the league?

      Embiid smells a bit like Greg Oden to me because of the back issues. Wiggins is supposed to be a freakishly great athlete, but with a suspect motor. Parker, not as good an athlete, but fiercely competitive. He strikes me as a bit of a tweener, however (think: Caged Lion).

      I dunno. I'd want more than Waiters and the number one for a top-10 player in the league who still hasn't hit his peak, even factoring in the profit$ that would come with a rookie star instead of a market-rate star.

  17. So, Humblebrag, my kid is retaking the SATs because she didn't hit her target score.

    'Spoiler' SelectShow

        1. I feel like #3 leads to #2, which in turn leads to #1... at least in my experience

  20. The Twins are in Wild Card Position right now, ten basis points ahead of the Yanqmis. That's 1 win and 1 loss more that the NYYs have.
    Jeter had a lot of years with high TWTW+, but he's been south of the equator ever since Girardi's first title as manager.

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