Twins record: 12-26
Fangraphs
MLB Game Wrap

To be honest, I did not watch much of this game today. When I first turned it on, the score was already 2-0. I heard there was a fair amount of _elm_n being _elm_n today. I also noticed that Jose Bautista had more at-bats in which he hit a home run than at-bats in which he did not. Instead, I paid more attention to the Phillies-Braves game on TBS, which was an intriguing pitching duel between Roy Halladay and Tim Hudson, and which featured what appeared to be actual major league baseball players in both teams' dugouts. Dan Uggla put the Braves ahead 3-2 with a homer off Doc in the bottom of the 8th and Craig Kimbrel pitched a damage-less 9th for the save.

On the bright side, I'm ready to see what glories the newly-begun Phil Dumatrait Era has in store for Twins Nation.

Ex-Twins Player of the Week: J.J. Hardy went 2-for-5 with a grand slam (off of fellow ex-Twin Rob Delaney) to finalize his slash line for the week at .400/.444/.640. If there are any other ex-Twins with worthy weekly performances, please direct your humble recapper's attention to them. (Programming note: The Twins Hitter and Pitcher of the Week Awards will be replaced by Ex-Twins Player of the Week for all subsequent weeks this season in which the Twins fail to win a game.)