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Father Knows Best: A Fatherhood Story

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*It appears that the poster we lined up wasn't able to meet deadline. So, whether he knows it or not, JoePos will be our special guest writer today*

Throughout our cross-country move from Kansas City to Charlotte, friends have asked the same question again and again: How are the kids taking it? It's a thoughtful question, a heartfelt question, and I very much appreciate them asking. But, the truth is, they already know. They're taking it exactly like just about every kid who has ever moved. If there's one thing you can say about moving, it is that the feelings are universal ... and cliche-ridden. Just about every adult who has ever moved to a new place has felt overburdened and has promised themselves, at least on some level, to never move again. Just about every child who has moved has felt, at least on some level, like Ralph Macchio from The Karate Kid.

Our girls are 6 and 9 and, so, have been a spectacularly erratic bundle of emotions. This is particularly true of Elizabeth, the older one. One minute, she's excited about a new life. The next she's collapsed in tears. The next, she's talking giddy about the puppy we're going to get*. The next she's talking about how she will never have a happy thought for the rest of her life.

*Fathers are not above bribing daughters.
 
 

There are a million things that have jolted me about being a parent, of course, and one of those is the drama. Even as a kid, I thought those family sitcoms on television were overwrought, but as a parent I have found that LIFE seems to be overwrought. A disagreement at recess, a cross word on the school bus, a misunderstanding with a friend, all these turn into long conversations right out of the The Brady Bunch with the slow version of the theme song playing in the background.

 
 
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12 thoughts on “Father Knows Best: A Fatherhood Story”

  1. This wasn't me, was it? For whatever reason I had the date of July 7th in my mind.

      1. just in case, here's the upcoming schedule:

        7-jul: FT“hm”LT
        21-jul: freealonzo
        11-aug: hungry joe
        25-aug: brianS
        8-sep: cheaptoy
        22-sep: SBG
        13-oct: spookymilk
        27-oct: Can o’ Corn

  2. Blending with my music post from last Friday, I figured out what it was that's making me so careful about this hip-hop mix I'm making for my daughter. It's that this disc is going to be from me, for her. I don't mean that I have to protect her from all music that is drug-related, misogynist, violent, or full of n-words and language that would make a Mormon blush. It'd be one thing if she heard this another way (even if it was me playing my music for myself). However, this is something I'm going to give her in hopes that she digs it and actually listens to the lyrics carefully, I don't want to present her with that type of content.

    It's like, I'll let her watch some stupid TV (Barney), but I'm not going to suggest it to her. I'll get her Rainbow Magic Fairy books (which are well below her abilities by this point), but I won't look for similar series for her.

    1. So far for the mix, I've got:

      Beastie Boys (not exactly sure which songs, but I found an edited version of a greatest hits package. Maybe "So Whatcha Want?" and "Sure Shot")
      Blackalicious "A To G" and that Christmas song they did last year
      Digable Planets "Rebirth of Slick" (Clean version: replaces "Miles and $#!+" with "Miles my man".), maybe another track, too.
      Eric B and Rakim "Paid in Full"
      Lauryn Hill "Lost Ones"
      Lupe Fiasco "Kick, Push"
      the Pharcyde "Drop (Radio Mix)"
      Run DMC (not sure which song, definitely not "Walk This Way" -- I'm not gonna be responsible for my kids knowing about Aerosmith).

      Haven't really dove into De La Soul or A Tribe Called Quest yet, or some of the other suggestions. I did listen to a bunch of Common though, and I like him much less than I thought I would. Tons of "B!+c#e$" and N-words. And on his early singles, he's quite a mushmouth.

      Listening to some Naughty by Nature, I thought of fellow Flavor Unit member Queen Latifah. Anyone know if she's got any decent songs? (CER will definitely enjoy things more if there are more female rappers.)

      1. She's fine, I guess, but if you want an often kid-friendly, talented female rapper, Missy Elliott is right there, or you can use a lot from The Fugees.

        1. Any Dessa tracks to recommend?
          (And spooky: and Missy or Fugees? I can't remember much Missy other than Ludacris's verse on "One Minute Man".)
          I'm basically trolling the "Greatest Hits" type tracks, because it wouldn't hurt if she got exposed to some decent canon.

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