WGOM Fitness

WGOM Fitness: 19 November 2012, Denial

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Denial is a powerful thing.

I'm not talking about the denial of oneself although I will talk about that, too, I'm talking about the type of denial that allows a person to not accept reality. This weekend, I was taking an unplanned break from the fitness program. Oh sure, I was following the diet for the most part, but yes, I was eating a little more than I normally have on the diet. I had committed to myself that I would work out every day when I was home, but that wasn't happening, either. I didn't work out on either Saturday or Sunday. I did some projects in the garage, but no trips to the gym.

What I didn't like about this in retrospect was how easily I slid into old habits. It is easy to not go to the gym. Easy. What is hard is denying oneself, but as I have seen, that denial of the easy path is what gets results in life. So, I woke up today and I committed myself to denying the path of ruin. I am getting back on the diet, I am going to the gym, I am not going to waste my time. Ultimately, I know that my happiness is tied to that denial. I don't feel good about myself if I haven't done what I should do and that feeling is easily compounded into a downward spiral. Every day, I have to wake up and self-motivate. Some days, that's easy. Other days, that can be very hard.

But, back to the topic at hand. Last night, I had reason to go through some pictures and find some for a project that my sister is doing. As I went through the slideshow on my computer, I realized something. I was fucking huge. Enormous. Rotund. Yes, obese. Even at 285 pounds, I told myself, yeah, I'm overweight, but I can carry a lot of weight. I don't really look that big. I was in almost complete denial. I give thanks for the day that I woke up and realized the truth about myself. I was obese and I looked terrible. I had no energy and I was digging an early grave. On that day, I googled an 1800 calorie meal plan and went to work.

This weekend, I was feeling complacent about my weight. It is true, I have made a lot of progress. I am in a way better spot than I was. But, I am still carrying too much weight, I still need to increase endurance, lose fat, and eventually transition to weight training. I have a long way to go. The denial started creeping in this weekend, but damn it, I don't want it to take control.

Day 118
Weight: 230.0
Total loss: 54.5
Days left until 200: 64

8 thoughts on “WGOM Fitness: 19 November 2012, Denial”

    1. This rant isn't really about my weight, per se, it is more about a commitment to doing the right things overall, with health management being one of those things. I am happy about the improvement and I do want to get better, but I'm more afraid of backsliding.

      1. Boss, I am continually impressed by your approach. From your narration, it seems that you are blessed with a body type fully capable of packing on the pounds, which means that a focused and comprehensive effort to PERMANENTLY re-set your "set point" body weight is absolutely necessary for you.

        My holiday wish for you is that you keep on your path to a (long) lifetime of healthy, happy living.

        1. Thanks.

          I think my body has kind of rebelled the last month, maybe I've pushed too hard. I may have to adjust a little and I'll kind of figure that out through a little experimentation. But, you are right, I can carry a lot of weight and I can easily pack it on. I also know that I like to eat and portion control is tough.

          One thing I've learned during this weight losing process is that portion control can be achieved. I have done that. I can do that. So, this weekend's funk notwithstanding, I think I can transition to a new weight and a new way of living. But, it will not be easy.

  2. This morning, while walking the skyways to my office, I found myself considering when in my schedule I could get back to the gym. I've lost weight over the past 6-9 months by walking and light lifting throughout the week. Mon-Wed, I walk about a mile to & from work (.5 each way). Fri-Sun, I'm in nearly constant motion for 4-6 hours as a server. Throughout the week, if I'm not hauling around a 25# toddler, I'm carrying plates and trays of food & drinks. It doesn't feel like exercise when I'm doing it, but it has helped me drop about 10 lbs. Even so, I do need to get to the gym - if only to use what I'm paying for!
    On the other hand, my diet is terrible. If I'm not eating restaurant food, I'm eating prepackaged meals or fast food. I'd like to eat healthier, but my schedule is so erratic and the other mouths in my home are so picky that I just haven't focused on making a change. To your point Stick, it's easier to be complacent about a diet or menu (or any other component of "healthy living") than it is to make a change and follow through on it. For me, it's easier to deny that I could do something about getting to the gym or eating better than it is to tackle the problem. I look in the mirror or try on pants that used to fit and I'm not happy with the results...however, it hasn't been enough to force my hand. I'm not sure what it will take to shake me out of the current state of affairs.

  3. Excellent post, SBG. As I'm sure you realize, what you wrote about denial has applications far beyond weight loss and fitness.

  4. Employer-provided snacks: a nefarious plot to get defined-benefit pension recipients to die young?

    the article references this NEJM study:

    The dietary factors with the largest positive associations with weight changes, per serving per day, were increases in the consumption of potato chips (1.69 lb), potatoes (1.28 lb), sugar-sweetened beverages (1.00 lb), unprocessed red meats (0.95 lb), and processed meats (0.93 lb). A secondary analysis of potato subtypes showed that weight changes were positively associated with increases in the consumption of french fries (3.35 lb) and of boiled, baked, or mashed potatoes (0.57 lb). Weight gain associated with increased consumption of refined grains (0.39 lb per serving per day) was similar to that for sweets and desserts (0.41 lb per serving per day). Inverse associations with weight gain, per serving per day, were seen for increased consumption of vegetables (−0.22 lb), whole grains (−0.37 lb), fruits (−0.49 lb), nuts (−0.57 lb), and yogurt (−0.82 lb).

    Categorical analyses of each dietary factor revealed similar linear relationships for increased versus decreased consumption (data not shown) — that is, for each dietary factor, the weight change with increased consumption was the inverse of that with decreased consumption. Thus, less weight gain occurred with decreased consumption of potato chips, processed meats, sugar-sweetened beverages, potatoes, or trans fat, and more weight gain occurred with decreased consumption of vegetables, whole grains, fruits, nuts, or yogurt. Aggregate dietary changes were robustly related to weight gain in a dose-dependent fashion, with a 3.93-lb greater weight gain across quintiles (Table 3Table 3Pooled, Multivariable-Adjusted Results for the Relationships between Changes in Lifestyle Habits and Weight Change.).

    They will have to pull my salty, crunchy snacks out of my cold, dead hands. And probably will.

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