I was at the store the other day and noticed that, after a bankruptcy forced hiatus, Twinkies are back. I may be late in making this observation as I lead a pretty oblivious life, but I'm taking it as a sign that next year the Twins will rebound and have a great season. Because unreasonable hope has kept me going for about half a century now, and I'm just too old to give it up.
On the hill tonight we have Liam "Hard Luck" Hendriks (1-2, 5.25 ERA) looking to get some run support from the Twins offense, versus Erik "The Winless Wonder" Johnson (0-2, 4.66 ERA) for the White Sox in a completely meaningless game for either team or their fans. So, you know...go Pirates!
Play ball.
Meaningless? This is The Battle For Fourth Place! (As Douglas Adams once observed, capital letters are always the best way of dealing with things we don't have a good answer to).
That probably goes double for exclamation points.
It would be cool if Arcia hits one to the Dan Ryan Expressway
No ham for that cheese. Do we lead the league in runners LOB, by any chance?
Guess not, third in the AL behind Boston and Detroit.
Which are also the top two teams in the league in runs/game. The Twins are 13th in runs/game.
So the Twins probably lead the league in OFI (offensive futility index).
Oh. One of these nights, I guess.
How do you say "Our pitcher sucks" in Australian?
Fosters
I typed that, but didn't hit send- I'm glad someone else thought of the same thing I did.
That's how you say beer. The correct answer is "Hendriks."
is there even a comparable pitcher in Twins history to Hendriks?
Dan Serafini? Pat Mahomes?
Dave Gassner, JD Durbin and Adam Johnson come to mind.
yeah, but all of those player only got a handful of appearances.
this is Hendrik's 28th start
David West,maybe?
Eddie Bane?
Okay, so you're looking for longer term failures. Let's see... Swarzak's started 28 games with a 5.79 ERA. JC Romero sucked pretty bad as a starter, too. I'd have to do some digging to find a better comp, I guess.
He's just 24. Through his first two seasons, Frank Viola was 11-25 with a 5.38 ERA 5.7 K/9, 3.5 BB/9, 1.5 HR/9. That was through 56 starts. Liam is only halfway to that but is a year older.
well, lets hope Hendriks develops the best changeup the organization had has since Johan Santana
Good thing Bobby Cuellar is the bullpen coach then.
Cole sighting.
the last time the Twins gave up 7 runs in the first inning was July 29, 1997
Frankie Rodriguez was allowed to work through it and got 4 innings of work
Expanded rosters gave Gardy the option of a very quick hook tonight.
Swarzak is 7.1 innings from getting 100
Grady should put him in and let him finish the game
I am cheering hard for this 100 relief innings.
He has another 12 games to get it. The starters are doing their best to ensure it happens.
Tell me that Gardy didn't bring in a reliever to face two batters in the first inning and then brought in another reliever to start the second inning.
I'm okay with that, assuming De Vries goes several innings.
Tonkin is not a long reliever. My guess is that De Vries is not used to relieving, so he figured let Tonkin get out of the mess and let De Vries start the second inning as if he was starting.
These are important considerations when the club is down 7-0 in the bottom of the first and 20+ games out of first place.
Well, but they are. Not to winning this game, obviously, but you don't want to blow out somebody's arm.
Huh, I thought that was a home run but Pressly caught it. Double play.. maybe?
Oh, it bounced and then he caught it. Bad replay the first time.
This game pretty much begs the question: Are you ready for some football?
Cincy-Pitt....oof
but then again, a Bootsy Collins sighting! (second pic)
httpv://youtu.be/46bkXgxb66E
greatest thing ever.
rob neyer on the job.
and how did I not know about Randball Stu's Oral History of Nick Punto Sliding Headfirst into First Base??
You must remember this?
What better time to do it when there isn't a play?
Don't have to worry about answering to "it slows you down" or anything.
Good form.
Oh, but when he got up, he first pivoted towards fair territory! They could tag him out!
At least he seemed to be slightly embarrassed, like he realized it was ridiculous.
Small steps.
Like, Punto-sized steps.
welp, this game sucks, but at least i have a fun view.
Did you ask him about Cassandra before he got in?
looking at his pitching line, I'm guessing "Yes."
the Twins are back to not scoring runs
not cool guys
I'm about ready to get back on that antiJeffA thing.
There's no way the Twins finish better than 64-98!
They have so few to score. Save them for a day when they give up less than 12.
This team demonstrates a serious lack of getting-after-it-ness. That, and talent.
Shutout averted! Moral victory!
Ron Gardenhire was alone in his office. He looked up at his framed picture of Casey Stengel. "Casey," Gardy exclaimed, "I'm about ready to give up!"
"You gotta lose 'em some of the time. When you do, lose 'em right," said a voice.
"Casey?" Gardy exclaimed, "Is that you!"
"Yep," said Casey Stengel, "and this team has shown me more ways to lose than I even knew existed."
"So what should I do, Casey? What's the answer?"
"The secret of successful managing is to keep the five guys who hate you away from the four who are undecided," said Casey.
"I don't think the players hate me," Gardy said. "They just don't play very well. Maybe I should be tougher on them. Impose a curfew or something."
"Being with a woman all night never hurt no professional baseball player. It's staying up all night looking for a woman that does him in. You gotta learn that if you don't get it by midnight, chances are you ain't getting it, and if you do, it ain't worth it," Casey said.
"So maybe I'm being too strict?"
"They say some of my stars drink whiskey, but I have found that ones who drink milkshakes don't win many ballgames," said Casey
"You really think that would help, Casey?" asked Gardy.
"Never make predictions, especially about the future. There's three things you can do in a baseball game. You can win or you can lose or it can rain."
"Thanks, Casey. I was wondering if anybody here can play this game, but you've really made me feel better. Any final advice?" asked Gardy.
"Remember this: without losers, where would the winners be?"
We'll just have to settle for 77-85!
🙂
This might my favorite yet. I just love Casey Stengel logic.
Race to the Bottom, 2013. It's humorless and relentless: another grim season ending with a run to near historic futility (and if you consider the three year run, it is historic).
Twins have 280 losses over the last three seasons.
What's the worst before that?
1997-1999: 283 losses
1998-2000: 282 losses
Any more than that and it precedes the move West. The Senators lost 290 or more over three consecutive seasons 4 times (well, 5 if you count 1903-1906 twice):
1955-1957: 295 losses
1947-1949: 291 losses
1907-1909: 297 losses
1904-1906: 295 losses
1903-1905: 294 losses
1903 was a 140-game season, the rest were all 154-game seasons (although there were often ties and unplayed games due to weather keeping the total number of games above or below 154).
The best winning percentage in any of those 290+ loss runs was .369 (1947-1949).
(Wait! That's not a percentage!)
The 2011-2013 Twins have a .408 record.
Hey! Gardy is at regular-season win 996!
Oy. He's going to get win #100 near the end of an atrocious season? That's unfortunate.
Of course, the Twins would actually have to win four more games this season.
(Add a zero.)
I don't think he's going to get it.
Yeah, if there were four wins left in this season, they all were in Chicago.
Yeah, a thousand. At any rate, it's getting harder to imagine it happening.
I don't think I like this game.
376 losses from '97-2000; an average of 94 per season.
293 losses from '11-2013; an average of ~98 per season*
288 losses from '11-2013; an average of ~96 per season.**
280 losses from '11-2013; an average of ~93 per season.***
Historic Futility
*total if they lose out the season.
**total if they lose 8 of their remaining 13 games.
***total if they win out the season.
I have a spreadsheet that shows it all. Maybe I should make it a Google doc. The Twins have had more losses than the post-move average for a 2 year period, and 3 year period, and the 4-10 year periods. They need 12 losses (unlikely) to get to above the 11 year average.
...I don't want to see that spreadsheet. Using the small amount of data from your "Race To The Bottom: 2013" was depressing enough. Well, maybe to see how many wins/winning seasons will be necessary to reverse the trend...it could be
funinterestinginstructivedepressinghorrific.Nevermind, my first instinct was correct.