Cup of Coffee

August 9, 2016: Election Day.

72 Comments

It's the, uh, second Tuesday of August, which means it's election day! Bertin' Ol' Bert is not long for the broadcast booth, and it would seem that the two most likely candidates to replace him are Blackjack and the Roy.

In the spirit of elections between 2 lousy choices, pick your poison below. Who would you prefer in the booth with the Duke next year (or whenever)?

(sorry, no option for Kodos)

?

  • Roy Smalley (86%, 12 Votes)
  • Jack Morris (14%, 2 Votes)

Total Voters: 14

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72 thoughts on “August 9, 2016: Election Day.”

    1. The Mount Rushmore of Twins broadcasters is fairly easy to flesh out, I think. The inverse has some really intense competition.

  2. Huh, I hadn't heard Bert was headed for the showers. Then again, I avoid the DicknBert show as much as possible. How nice it would be if they decided it was time to start completely fresh with a new crew.

    I don't expect the second coming of Herb, but it would be pretty awesome to have a crew that paired a professional broadcaster sharing Halsey's storytelling & humor and an analytics-inclined former player. Of course, given the decision-makers involved, that's as likely as the Twins hiring Alex Anthopoulos as their new GM.

    1. As far as I know, nothing's been announced. However, he's scaled way back this year, and it's always been one of those two subbing in booth so I'd be very surprised if one of them wasn't in it permanently before too long.

    2. If it is Morris, then they're replacing Bert with a crankier old man that takes himself too seriously. I don't want that, so give me Smalley.

      I wonder if Dick is one of those announcers that plays up/down to the analyst. Sure, he's always going to be a homer and toe the company line (which is par for the course) but maybe he'd be more tolerable with a solid analyst.

      1. As far as I can tell, TK might be the best analyst they've put on the air. Is Dick substantially more listenable when TK's in the booth with him?

        1. In my opinion? No.

          I think Smalley is pretty good. Morris is absolutely awful. Getting an announcer who could get the most out of the analyst would be ideal (it's worked wonders for the radio guys), but I assume Dick is too lovable to be told to hit the showers anytime soon.

          1. Smalley is leaps and bounds better than anyone else they've had in the booth as a sub, other than the occasional ("occasional" meaning "5 or 6 times a year, at max) TK. Smalley tends to be less likely to be caught up in "back in my day" hyterics (with a caveat for the changes they made this year to the double play turn, which he hates, but generally doesn't dwell on for too long), and oftentimes has interesting things to say about things that go on that a fan might not actually know about (there have been a couple of things that he's brought up about hitting that made me think "huh, I didn't know that")

            I don't know that he'd be my first choice, but he'd absolutely be my first choice of the current subs.

        2. I like TK, but I think he's best in small doses. I think I'd tire of him pretty quickly if I listened to him for 150 games.

    3. Back when I cared, I liked Bert a lot when I first got cable and got to watch the games regularly, but as I got used to the same points and the same tropes, I got tired of him. I still enjoyed his ability to make fun of himself, like when he'd mention his HR record (now broken), or highlight his bad predictions (though often playing it up as if that's what he called). I think I could hang out with Bert.

      I can't recall Smalley (which is probably a good point for him), but what I remember of Jack (mostly radio?) was that he did not have the humor of Bert. Much more serious.

      Still, right from the beginning, I thought it would be good to have a rotation of a half-dozen or so former players to be color so that the tropes and sayings don't wear out or go uncontested for too long. Bert gave some good insight on pitching, but little on fielding or batting.
      Sometimes, maybe even have two color commentators, like a pitcher and a batter, to give opposing insights. But not "takes" just to argue. It'd have to have a sense of collegiality, so they're not arguing.

      It'd also be nice if they could swap some announcing with the opposing team, (particularly in the pregame though), to let the Twins fans know the story on their season so far. It would have been fun to hear Hawk have to answer questions about the Sox.

      Take this all with a grain of salt: I liked Joe Morgan on Sunday Night Baseball. I thought he gave a good look at what the players actually thought about intangibles (even if it was demonstrably wrong). If he had been my team's regular color though: ugh would that get old.

      1. On the opposing team thing, that's probably my own taste. I like watching foreign cartoons even when they're not good so I can get a sense of the culture. What's it like where Anglo-American culture is not predominant?

        1. In that case, you might want to check out "My Magic Pet Morphle." I believe it's Dutch. We came across it thanks to YouTube algorithms, and the peperoncino has been watching it recently. The voices are odd and sometimes spoken with a heavy accent, but somehow that's part of the appeal.

      3. Bert can still be really good when he wants to be. It's just that he figured out that it's a lot less work to talk about his birthday and circle people and say "he left that pitch up" every time a ball is hit hard than it is to actually analyze the game, and they'll pay him just as much either way. So he takes the easy way most of the time, and maybe in his position I would, too, I don't know.

  3. USA Rugby Men play their first game at 11AM. The ladies finished a very respectable 5th, holding eventual gold medallers 'Strayla to a draw in group play (gah!). Their two losses came by a combined 2 tries.

    1. I hasten to add:

      I'm working on cutting stuff I don't like or agree with out of my life (eg. NFL and NCAA sports, FIFA pretty damn soon) and next is boycotting the Olympics. But I love rugby. So I settled on watching only rugby.

      1. I know others can speak to this as well, but I find myself feeling substantially less disapated (and much less cantankerous) having anathematized certain sports leagues, most social media, broadcast TV (especially news & reality shows), and so on. Living where I live makes sports conversations unbearable 3/4 of the year anyway, and I need some pretty strong medicine to avoid dipping into serious pessimism (or worse, cynicism) about this state.

        If you really want to go cold turkey on some things, having a kid helps. (I am not encouraging you to have kids yet. Enjoy being DINKs for a few years! You'll never get that unique nexus of youthful vitality and undivided attention for your partner back.)

        1. I still enjoy watching football quite a bit. The catharsis for me has come from not caring nearly as much about the outcome.

          Also, co-sign on the waiting for kids, obviously.

        2. I have also pushed back against the self-imposed demands on my time and attention. I'm not a big NBA fan and the NFL just sucks (but I have to admit that I still like to watch a little football in the fall). I'll watch the NHL and some college hockey and basketball around tournament time. I seldom check Facebook these days and mostly use Twitter as a news ticker. I've even cut way back on my time at the WGOM as I'm sure you've all noticed. I'm a little too old surgically altered to have another kid, but a high energy dog is a good substitute as far as demanding large chunks of your attention. Also, while we may have lost our youthful vitality, now that we're nearly empty-nesters, the wife and I have rediscovered our mostly undivided attention for each other. We just don't videotape it anymore.

            1. Whoa, the end of an era. I bought my first VCR when I graduated college, paid about $500 for a new Sylvania model at Sears, and that was with my employee discount. That thing lasted almost 18 years (with one video head replacement along the way). I actually saved the case from it for a few years after it died, thinking I would use it for a PC mod build, but finally pitched it out a few years ago. They don't make 'em like that anymore.

          2. we just don't videotape it anymore

            Hey, now! This board is for swingers, not Swingers!

        3. Having kids really changed my sports viewing habits, there just isn't time to sit down and watch something that takes multiple hours.

          We bought the NHL streaming package last year (both grew up as fans of out of market teams) and probably used it less than 10 times, not going to make that purchase again.

        4. Yes, I agree that having a kid will definitely curb your viewing habits. I don't watch NFL anymore, and despite wanting to get into hockey, I've never latched onto it. Even my MLB viewing has been cut considerably. This year I barely noticed until the Twins started 0-9.

        5. Living where I live makes sports conversations unbearable 3/4 of the year anyway

          Only 3/4? You're luck and/or have better coworkers than I have.

          I know I've made my sports annoyances pretty clear around here, so probably no need to go into it again.

          I wasn't planning on watching the Olympics this year because it's been such a shit show, but I've found the draw of the more interesting, lesser known sports made me abandon that plan. I'm taking a pass on as much of the gymnastics, swimming, and stuff like that that NBC constantly shows, preferring the indoor volleyballs (women's indoor ftw), handballs, fencing, archerys, etc of the world. Since I got back home from a weekend at my mom's, I haven't bothered to turn on the main channel.

    3. Update: Claiming a ‘technical error‘, On Sunday evening, the NFL appears to have removed the edited version of Pace’s speech and uploaded the full version.

      1. I hate it when technical errors ONLY take out part of a speech that could be considered off message for the NFL...

  5. AMR, I nearly forgot my disguise (sunglasses) this morning! That awkwardness aside, I thought things went pretty well. I needed to signal to you what to take without being super obvious about it, which I hopefully accomplished.

  6. Twins are 21-12 since July 2 (.636). If they match that pace for the rest of the season, they still would finish with just 78 wins. They need to go 27-23 to avoid 90 losses.

    3. Fielder would end his career with 319 home runs, the same number as his father Cecil

      Odd little coincidence there. That also has to put them near the top of a father/son total homer list, right? Bonds, Griffey, anyone else?

          1. I guess that means Aaron, Ruth, ARod, and Mays + their respective fathers surpass the Fielders, too. Seems against the spirit of the question, but technically correct.

    4. Not retiring but doctors won't (ever?) clear him to play so he's medically disabled. He won't retire however as then he forfeits his contract.

  8. Mastroianni released. He hit .256/.327/.300/.627 this year in Rochester.

    1. Interesting.

      Also, my FIL contracted West Nile, and since he has diabetes too, it was very bad. He spent quite a while in the hospital, and his recovery time was extensive.

      1. When I fretted over using Deet, a frien pointed out that we know more people with insect-borne diseases than nerve damage. Lesser of two evils.

        1. My wife found a pretty good Deet-free insect repellent that's fine for the backyard when I Frisbee the dog, but for heavy skeeter conditions I always go with the Deet. I have noticed that we were pretty light on mosquitoes in our neighborhood until just a couple of weeks ago, right after the rains let up and the high humidity broke.

          1. I've found that congealed bacon drippings work pretty well, so long as you keep from sweating.

  13. An absolutely fascinating article about justice and employment and science. And one that I hope turns out the right way.

    As an aside, I went to high school with Kris. He was a senior my freshman year, but we ran in somewhat overlapping circles, and he made a tremendous impression on me. In fact, I knew other members of the family quite well too, and I would be truly shocked if the accusations leveled are nearly accurate (I also might not be shocked if Kris' "brashness" (read: unmitigated ability) rubbed people the wrong way.). I'd also share, again, that having been through something similar in an employment setting... man, these kind of internal investigations can be a complete joke sometimes, except for the fact that there's nothing funny about it.

    1. I didn't know Kris well, but I also found him to be an impressive man and surprisingly funny given how unimaginably intelligent he is. The line in the article about how for Kris it would be impossible for him to be unethical rang true to me.

    3. Thanks for the link. I've forwarded this around to selected colleagues. Seems that my institution isn't alone in its fear of new ideas and practices.

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