My apartment caught fire a couple of mornings ago. The one above me, to be precise. The girls and I were responding to the fire alarm with some apathy until I smelled smoke and realized it was no drill.
Through this fire, we went to my mom's, which indirectly led to my learning of her issues with her leg, which tied into her inability to drive down to Blue Earth, which I indirectly learned was because she needed to be with my grandmother as she goes under the knife to remove skin cancer and replace it with healthy skin.
This has been a really awful summer.
Wow. You and your family are in our prayers.
I was going to make a joak about today apparently being tomorrow already, but after reading below the headline: dido what Chaps said. Hang in there, Milkman.
Dido. You're due a break.
Yikes! Hang in there bud - we're rooting for you.
I forgot how long college football games take. Home at 1 a.m. last night.
My wife was offered a job yesterday, so starting part night we, for the first time ever, had to stay thinking about daycare options. This is fairly stressful stuff. The good news is that we found a place that we really like, and that the bauble really liked when we visited. It's also right across the street from the elementary school so the trinket can go there until I can pick her up.
Also, I get to go car shopping tomorrow. And I get to do with the advantage that I don't care of I leave still driving the car I currently have.
Good luck!
Our kids went to 1 at-home and 3 different centers over the years. Always a stressful process.
yeah, Pete started at a home care that wasn't great (but cheap!), then went to a corporate chain daycare, which was pretty awful. after a few weeks of that we pulled him over to a private montessori daycare, and things were great since then.
he just started kindergarden this week, and loooooves the after care provided by the school & park system. also, *i* really like that it's 4 minutes from our house instead of 40.
Fortunately, the place we're going to go with isn't a chain. It's also one of the 4k schools, so when he is ready for that next year he can just keep right on going to the same place.
Thanks.
It's been particularly stressful to me because every single one of my friends who've had kids in daycare have had a bad story or two.
meanwhile, my wife is doing battle with licensing out here regarding (their) various interpretations of law and regulations. Suddenly, it seems that her licensing analyst thinks that a pre-school cannot do a field trip that involves transportation unless a teacher is in _every_ vehicle transporting more than just the driver's child. (an interpretation about "supervision" of volunteers) A 180-degree change in interpretation, and one that would basically make it impossible to do field trips.
Is California trying to increase the number of pre-school teachers that have commercial driver's licenses?
I feel very lucky to have no horror stories from the 3 places I've sent my kids, but even though I really liked my older son's daycare it was a relief when he started school and used their after-school program. At the school open house last night a bunch of his friends all talked about their excitement for home base to start up next week.
Good luck, man. Arranging daycare for the Poissionier was easily the most stressful part of parental decision-making we've done so far. Just finding a place that would take a three-month-old was hard enough, but daily commutes on public transportation was a major factor. We found a nice woman who was moving from working in a center to doing in-home care (and who had one child from her center who was following her, a promising endorsement we felt). Her face lights up every morning when she sees her caretaker, but I still struggle with the knowledge that the majority of my kid's day is spent with someone we barely knew before surrendering her to the demands of the world.
What kind of wheels are you looking at tonight?
My first choice is a Ford Fiesta. Unfortunately, the first dealership in going to tomorrow doesn't have any manuals in stock, so I'm going to have a look at new Focus SE. If I don't like it/its more than I want to spend, I'm gonna head out to Madison and check the Ford dealerships out there, then look at low, Elantras/Accents, Mazda3's and Kia Fortes.
A properly-equipped Fiesta seems like a pretty fun whip. After owning a turbocharged, gas-thirsty road rocket for a decade, I'm glad neither of our current rides require premium fuel. (Probably a good thing Mrs. Hayes felt too exposed in that turbo Saabaru we test drove before buying our Outback...)
Seriously, good luck with the day care bit. Two items spring to mind...
The first place we ever visited when first looking at day care for Aquinas was a licensed in-home setting, and as we drove there the neighborhood was... not promising. We liked to joke that there was barbed wire around the area and we expected a pack of wild dogs would run out of nowhere at any moment. As we approached the house we saw that this home was also the location of some sort of auto salvage yard, and we turned immediately around and never showed for the appointment. The next place involved an invalid husband who had "quit smoking some time ago." Apparently "some time ago" was 10 minutes before we entered.
Second, we currently do not have daycare of any type for our infant. Living in outstate, we are limited in our options, and no one has any infant slots. I'm starting to question the state's regulations on this, since it requires us to break up our family - I'd much prefer my infant be able to be at the same place as my other kids - but that's sort of a nonissue right now because we can't find anything. As it stands, she'll be coming to work with me every day. Which works for now, since she's not mobile yet. Once she is... ugh.
Oh, also, I had all 4 kids up at the office the past 3 days, since daycare doesn't start until next week, but Philosofette had to work too. That was... insane.
This. So, so much this. Our day care lady mentioned the other day that there are literally zero infant spots open among the licensed day care providers who live within ten miles of Alexandria.
I am really glad we were able to avoid having to go to daycare when either kids were infants. It should be much easier for my wife to leave somewhere now that he's a bit older.
I think the state regulation is ripe for some... review. One could argue that there is discrimination and discouragement against having children, or, maybe more aptly, discrimination against families where both parents choose to work. Or need to work to afford their children. So poverty. They're discriminating against the poor. They don't think poor people should have kids. I'm probably getting into forbidden zone stuff here, huh?
I'm glad there are stict regulations on care providers, but I'm nodding my head here.
I don't agree with your conspiracy theory. There are unintended consequences with regulation. And too much "that's the way we've always done it" in all walks of life.
Oh, I don't I actually think that's the reason for the regulations. Didn't mean to give that impression. I agree that it's entirely an unintended consequences situation, but it's one that I think should really be talked about a lot more.
The last thing the State needs is a lawsuit against the Department of Human Services.
I was wondering when we'd hear from you about this. Might have to send you a private message on this topic...
If it makes you feel any better, no one has any infant slots in a big city like Seattle, and the going rate is around $2K per month if you do happen to luck into one of those spots.
The imbalance I've noticed here is that the child:caregiver ratio is smaller for infants (something like 4:1) than it is for toddlers and older kids (5:1 or more). And to avoid the issue that you are running into--multiple daycares for one family--centers typically give sibling preference. So the infant slots all get taken by second children and you're a bit out of luck for your first child. Either we'll get super lucky by being at the top of a wait list (that we put ourselves on some 8 months before our daughter was born) at the right time, or we'll wind up going with a nanny or a nanny share, each of which have their own advantages/disadvantages.
Sure, if you've been in the area for a while, the sibling preference works. But if you've moved? Or just decided to switch day cares because of whatever reason? Or other people at the daycare have infants before you do? Or your previous provider retired? Or lost licensure? Etc. It's a solution for some families, but it's a barrier for others. And the problem itself - too few infant slots - doesn't change.
Right, I meant to characterize it as a well-intentioned but problematic system. It kind of boggles me that in such a big city, we know so many people who have had so much trouble with this. And it's not like people here just solve their problems by having one parent quit his/her job, I know a lot of parents that have gotten a nanny who is just as expensive, if not more expensive, as the filled-to-capacity day care centers that they were unable to get into.
Ah, my bad.
I remember having some concerns about this when we lived in Arlington, VA. We decided early on that we were moving back to MN, but we too had heard many difficulties about day care in the big city environment.
This absolutely is something that is affecting family composition/timing. I think that's worth talking about.
My best friend lives in Seattle. He was astounded to hear we're paying more for daycare in the People's Republic (on two incomes) than he is (on one income that's ~120% of our combined incomes) out there. We were simply dismayed.
That blows.
I've decided that rates for daycare aren't really set by competition, at least around here, but they are set more by how much money two-income families are willing to forgo before becoming a one-income family. I know people that spend $50K+ per year on daycare, and there is a part of me that just finds this insane, but both parents have six-figure jobs (also insane in its own way) so it's really rough for now, but I can see how keeping their jobs will be better for their careers by the time that their kids are back in school again.
If there was a surplus of caregivers, then the rates might be set by alternative jobs the caregivers might take, but since there are waitlists basically everywhere, their real competition is making sure they don't set rates so high that people forgo daycare. (And to be sure, I know people who are doing this, too.)
You guys are making me never want to leave the town I currently live in. The place we picked isn't super cheap, but it's reasonable.
That's how I felt about Seattle when I moved here 12 years ago. Now we're pretty entrenched. I feel blessed that both my wife and I have jobs that pay well. I think it will be worth it, because I think we'll make enough to still save as we raise our kids, then either stay in the city and downsize our living arrangements or move somewhere cheaper after the kids leave town. If we had to make big career changes, we'd probably look hard at moving.
I understand why there is a cap on the amount of pre-tax money you can use for daycare, but when you have an infant the $5,000 limit only makes a dent.
I'm pissed that you can't do the DCFSA as well as the child care deduction anymore (maybe you weren't supposed to before, but they seem to have clamped down this year). We paid well over the total of both of their maximum deductions, but noooooope, you can only do one or the other now.
If I recall correctly, in past years you were allowed to do the deduction in the amount that matched the difference between your costs (or the cap) and your DCFSA? Basically, you could only get up to the maximum either way?
hahahaha, no, not that i'm aware of. you could do up to $5k for the DCFSA. the child care credit was maxed out around $3-4k (?) i believe. yeah, our yearly costs were well above both of those put together.
then again, we did our own taxes, so perhaps we were doing it totally wrong.
My wife thinks I'm weird for anyway looking up what the child care credit entails. I just want to be prepared!
As far as I can tell, the tax benefits of having a kid are super underwhelming. Growing up, I felt like there was always this mystique around claiming additional dependents that made it seem like you would make huge dents in your tax burden, but it looks super minimal to me. I've seen onesies that say "Daddy's Little Deduction" but I feel like it would be more appropriate for a onesie to say "I light daddy's money on fire." (The back would probably say "But I'm worth it anyway.")
It's almost as if the tax code should not be affecting the decision whether to have kids!
My youngest starts Kindergarten next week, meaning all of my kids will be in school for the first time. Boom!
My wife stayed home, so we never had to deal with day care. But she started at a new job three weeks ago, which has left the four kids home with me working. Totally insane. I have never so looked forward to the kids starting school as this year. Seriously, we can just skip the three-day weekend and start Tuesday tomorrow.
Seriously, we can just skip the three-day weekend and start Tuesday tomorrow.
Right? If I hear "I'm bored" or "Can I have a snack?" one more time...
No doubt.
My office is in the basement. Ours is "I'm getting hungry up there" every hour, on the hour.
Good luck!
Linds did her homework while pregnant and we found a great in-home daycare* with a lady who was pretty much perfect. She was never pushy about things**, she just informed us about how his day went, and was a huge assist with stuff like teaching him to nap and whatnot.
Then she closed her daycare three months later.
Luckily, she referred us to a new in-home that was opening up, and while I still prefer the old one, Newbish does love the new one, and I have no major complaints, which, to hear from a lot of our friends...is not always the case.
* Corporate day cares cost 2 to 3 times as much, and I hear just as many, if not more, horror stories coming out of them as I do from the licensed in-home ones.
** This isn't hugely important, but it is nice when the provider understands that their title is not "parent" or "doctor", but rather "temporary caretaker".
I'm trying to set my sights low--I just want a caregiver that we can afford and won't actively harm our child's development. Some of the features you see from bigger organized centers seem cool--the development curriculums and whatnot--and maybe they help a lot, but I'm not convinced it's super impactful in the long run. Of course bS will probably jump in and note that in the long run we are all dead. Economists, SMH.
I'm sure their view is rosier than our resident actuaries.
technically, political scientist. So much more dismal than economists!
Well that was fun.
I went to pick up the trinket from school today. I started to get a bit worried when I didn't see her come out the doors. Seems she told her teacher she was now riding the bus, so she got on one of them. They managed to find her just before the busses all left. She said some of her friends from the neighborhood were on that bus with her, so at least she was on the right one. Scared the crap out me though.
Yeah, that would be scary.
One time growing up, I fell asleep on the bus and missed my stop, had to stay on until everyone else got dropped off. Pretty sure I scared the crap out of my mom that day.
After we moved to a new town when I was starting second grade, first day on the bus, no one bothered to tell us the kids on our street were picked up and dropped off at different places. On the way home, the bus didn't bother to turn the corner and go a block up the street to the entrance to our street. The bus driver didn't know where I was to get off and I never was able to recognize where I was supposed to get off. I was basically the last kid on the bus and in a panic when I finally recognized a street that a friend's house was on (basically the only other residential street in town I would be able to recognize). I got off the bus there without thinking about what if they weren't home. Fortunately, they were. When I got home, I promptly threw up and stayed home from school the next day. The next time I used the bus, my mom made sure to be at the stop so I would no where to get off the bus.
If the Twins had kept the players they drafted, they could be 5th in the AL Central right now.
But they would have ten more wins!
Total system failure.
Heh, I wasn't around to take part in the child care discussion because the jalapeño's summer child care was closed, so I had to take the day off and spend it with him. (Not really complaining--it's fun to have a random day off with him, and I'm glad I have the luxury of plenty of paid time off (since I've been at the same job for lucky 13 years) and the flexibility to pretty much get a time off as needed.)
Sounds like our neighborhood could feel the 5.6 that just happened in Oklahoma
man, I don't know how you can stand to live in a part of the country that is subject to earthquakes! Too damn scary. ...