"People associate long hair with drug use. I wish people associated long hair with something other than drug use, like an extreme longing for cake. And then strangers would see a long haired guy and say, 'That guy eats cake!' 'He is on bundt cake!' Mothers saying to their daughters, 'Don't bring the cake eater over here anymore. He smells like flour. Did you see how excited he got when he found out your birthday was fast approaching?'"
My friend said, "You know what I like? Mashed potatoes." I was like, "Dude, you gotta give me time to guess."
"Every book is a children's book if the kid can read."
"Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience"
No, I'd like to nominate:
"I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that."
“I saw a commercial for an above ground pool. It was 30 seconds long... because that is the maximum amount of time you can depict yourself having fun in an above ground pool.”
You have to read them in his voice and cadence, but dangit, there are so many good ones.
I've always loved his concern for the missing persons at the restaurant.
I also snuck one of his jokes into Survivor (my answer to question one)
"Bush, search party of three."
"The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be better than a wall."
After countless matches against the side of my garage, I've always appreciated this one especially.
I used to do a lot of drugs. I still do, but I used to too.
This early Letterman appearance is not only really funny but he's soooo nervous.
I can totally relate the the nervousness. Celebrities... they're just like us!
"Wow. You really like Tide."
Seahawks QB Russell Wilson at Yankees camp? Thank God -- the MLB news feeds had fallen significantly below every other article about the Yanks.
Today, I am exactly as old as Charlton Heston was the day Ben Hur was released: 13,194 days old.
The Vikings Are Clearing The Deck Of Quarterbacks To Go After Kirk Cousins
Your Instant Pot message of the day: No, it's not melting.
Also, early reviews are in on pork chile verde. Delicious. Needs cilantro to push it over the top. And maybe an extra hit of fish sauce for leftovers (or day two consumption, as in our case).
Defatting the sauce before blending was pretty important, I think. It would have been greasy and heavy. Instead, it was delish. Next time, I would diversify the peppers (I used only poblanos) for a bit more depth of flavor. Also, I used only about 4 cloves of garlic because I, uh, didn't read the recipe very carefully. Moar Garlic!
Mankato Brewer expands Twin Cities distribution
I would seek out Mad Butcher.
well, #2 is still good
I'll wait here for the anti-Iowa rants to start.
Stupid Iowa and their sparkling infrastructure!
Gravel roads FTW!
Their infrastructure's only good because it's not that hard to make straight roads between flat expanses of corn fields.
I think it is due to the covered bridges.
I'm proud of my current state's fiscal responsibility!
North Dakota is too high.
I've got a cousin who worked out in Williston who would strenuously agree.
Number one in quality of life? Eh??
It's baffling how it ended up so high. It has three indexes above 10th, but they're not given the highest weight. Could probably figure out the weights they used too.
The complete results go to a PDF that include the weights. Checking a few of those top states now.
There isn't much spread in the weights (16.1% for Healthcare and 9.5% for Quality of Life). Iowa has a score of 8.861, Minnesota 10.782, Utah 11.414, North Dakota 11.777, and New Hampshire 12.062. So really, North Dakota is nearly third.
Ordinal rankings based on indexes of indexes always make me giggle a little.
dude, totally spitting on the Beane Count!
So glad we moved now!
Tim Brewster, still a dumbass
MLBPA files revenue-sharing grievance against Marlins, A's, Pirates, Rays
Junior started at first base in his varsity baseball team's first game of the season. He went 0-for-1 with a walk. They won 1-0 and scored the go-ahead run in the 7th inning on a throwing error on a steal of third base with 2 outs.
Last night, pork chile verde. Tonight, pork chilaquiles.
mmmmm.
The Wild just destroyed the Blues.
In other hockey news, this is an insane hustle play:
holy cows
Eric Staal with a 5 point night (3g 2a). He now has 70 points for the season which is 4th best in Wild history (Gabby 83, Rolston 79, Mikko 71). Staal's 33 goals is tied for 4th all time.