Sorry, we didn't get to this earlier. Let The Airing Of Grievances begin!
47 thoughts on “December 28, 2018: Festivus (Observed)”
I have a lot of 2018 grievances, but right now a terrible customer from yesterday is dominating my thoughts so fully, I can’t think of any of the other grievances. Satisfying in the end, though; despite his insistence on assuming I didn’t know what I was talking about (I have no idea where he was getting this), he went to two other employees with the same question, both of whom brought him to me.
I suppose the other main grievance is that I still work here, period.
Grievances (with a list like this, obviously life is going pretty well):
1. Daylight Savings Time. Neither kid has adapted in the last two months which is just silly.
2. Incompetent, blustering attorney up north. I dread the multiple phone calls and emails each week in which you tell me that I'm "worse than Trump" and have effectively "killed your client." It's not my fault that you don't understand the law, have incorrectly advised your clients, and they have now incurred a bunch of legal fees based upon your completely incorrect understanding of the law. I'm trying my hardest to get this case resolved as quickly as possible to get your clients some closure, but that's hard to do when you are so clueless.
3. Ash. Stop playing werewolf, dude.
4. The light at Lyndale Avenue and 58th Street seems to have gotten a little better, but it's going to remain on my list every year until the put in a sensor that allows it to skip the full cycle when no cars are waiting to make left turns.
5. Jake Cave and the Bad D. At least Danny Santana wasn't a real outfielder when he misplayed every ball hit to him.
6. The Saints. I hope you lose in the most hilarious way possible again in the playoffs.
Re #6. I agree in principle, but when the who dats win games less people get murdered in my town. So, yeah, I guess better rip that band-aid off as soon as possible.
Does my cursed Instant Pot mock God?
Yes. Summoning the powers of a profane occultist nightmare to save time in the kitchen is an abomination and an affront to God.
I'm planning on incoming Baphomet tonight to make pea soup.
NBB Hnos Coot makes greek yoghurt in his I'pot.
I have made yogurt a half dozen times. Best to let it go at least a couple hours beyond the recipe timing for better thickness and tang. But for Greek, don't you then need to drain?
Just talked with my Bro - he said he just scoops out the whey, not straining. But OMG, he is like an InstaPot prophet. It sounds like a religion/political party. Kinda like those apple cider vinegar Mother people.
And your point would be?
😀
Pro tip on split pea: if using ham hocks, make a ham stock with them first.
I should have, but I did use home made turkey stock. It turned out delicious and no one here likes it but me. So I'll be in pea soup heaven for a few days.
Grievences;
1. Ticketmaster and Stub Hub fees -- My Neil Young $50 ticket cost me $74.06 via Ticketmaster
2. The state trooper just outside of Grand Marais who nailed me twice for speeding in a 9 month period
3. Radiohead for continuing to skip the Twin Cities area for a concert
4. Facebook for poor data protection policies, scaring old people, and basically allowing itself to be used by undemocratic forces throughout the world.
5. Twitter for allowing white nationalists to thrive on its platform
6. Climate change deniers
7. People in cars who endanger my life when I ride my bike on City streets
8. Cancer sucks!!!!
Re #7. Yeah, totes. Also, eff people who endanger my life while I’m biking on the no motor vehicle allowed protected bike path. I’m looking at you kids with paintball guns, people driving motorized vehicles, and folks who think it is funny to run full speed across the path as I’m approaching.
1. The resurrection of fascism.
2. Tom Thibodeau & Derrick Rose still being a part of the Timberwolves organization.
3. The continued lack of flattering pants options for husky fellows such as myself. Yes, I'm fat. Yes, my ass & thighs are thick. No, I don't think that making my pants much larger in that area, and then cut straight down, is going to make that better.
4. Terrible Splatoon 2 teammates in the League pool.
5. How touchy the Bluetooth/USB audio connection stuff is in my 2013 Honda Accord. Fighting with this on bi-weekly 500 mile treks is wildly frustrating.
6. Past Zack can go to hell for offering to bake cookies and bring them to my team summit in mid-January. I have 5 days at home between my current 15 day absence, and the 6 day absence for the summit.
7. HBO & Dish Network failing to come to a deal which leaves me blacked out. I love large media conglomerates.
HBO GO and cut out the middle clowns.
Cable clowns is a definite grievance.
Also, Uverse is our cable and Internet service. Both kinda suck.
In order to wean off of cable, we will need to upgrade our Internet. The current service (allegedly 5 Mbps download) is dodgy and seems to go through phases of dropping connections. A lot.
But our only viable alternative is the cable company....
Where is the competition in this market?
We're trying to figure out this one as well. On the cusp of cancelling DirecTV in Minny, but need to be able to get HGTV, Colbert, and Bundesliga - currently using Xfinity (from Hartford) over Hotspot seems to fill in the gaps.
If you're not in a contract, you've got quite a bit of power. We argued them into slashing 60% off of our bill a month or two ago with DirectTV.
Those are "temporary" rates. And they make it increasingly difficult to manage subsequent pricing. You have to be willing to leave.
They're very temporary, and you have to be willing to leave and to call back next year once they pile everything back on.
We've been doing it for a few years now. It's a hassle, but it's better than paying $130 a month for TV.
I just cancelled DirecTV (not easy, you get put on hold for a while). But now need to figure out a WiFi solution for Scandia. I can do the HotSpot on the iPhone, but then run out of data (at lea$t with my current plan).
Can you do WiFi with DirectV?
1) Strong, healthy people who push the auto-door-opener at Whole Foods. Losers.
2) People who purchase ready-to-eat food and eat just after the checkout. You can't wait to get home?
3) Those who eat things while in the check-out line. You can't wait 3 minutes to get to the ready-eat spot?
4) Those who eat things while shopping. That's stealing!
5) Those who eat in their car in the dark after shopping. Don't want the kids to get it.
6) Non-handicapped people who park in the handicap spaces. And the cops that never ticket them.
7) Plastic packaging around things like batteries. I usually cut myself trying to open them.
8) Those who don't put their shopping carts back in the cart-stalls. 3rd ring of Hell...
9) News web sites that count the number of times you read their stuff then turn you off. Hey this is the internet, I'm just going elsewhere.
10) Companies destroying our language (enjoy the go, make healthy happen, enjoy better, be your way, etc.)
11) When I go to the JCC to swim and all lanes are closed except 1 due to swim-team practice-time. Or they're completely closed due to some esoteric Hebrew holiday (e.g. Maimonides defeated the Hittites back in 4307).
12) Drivers in Hartford. Where chaos rules.
13) Pedestrians on Farmington Avenue. Head's down, they're crossing the street now, hell or high water.
#10 -- Minnesota Twins: This is how we baseball.
#11 -- other than the High Holidays (which are half about grievance), they are pretty much all esoteric and about celebrating an obscure victory (feats of strength) or remembering an ancient grievance.
Judaism was made for Festivus.
Spin class in a Sukkah?
#12. Yes. Unfortunately not limited to the city.
9. I have a browser for normal use and one for which I delete cookies several times a day.
I use private/incognito mode for that. Everything is automatically deleted when the window is closed. There are also extensions that will do that, but it'd require another profile.
I like using mine because it usually means I'm making something with chiles in adobo or some sort of tomato sauce.
My chipotles in adobo come in a pop-top can.
As for can opener, isn't it in the opposite end from the bottle opener?!
I have a little aluminum bottle opener from St. Cloud Restaurant Supply that's been on my key chain for 30 years now, so I'm virtually never without a bottle opener. For several years I kept a P-38 on the key chain, too, but I didn't use it enough to justify having it randomly digging into my thigh and cutting up my pocketses.
There's one on almost every Swiss Army knife. Not the easiest to use, but it's there.
Mr. McGuire: I want to say one word to you. Just one word.
Benjamin: Yes, sir.
Mr. McGuire: Are you listening?
Benjamin: Yes, I am.
Mr. McGuire: Plastics Cocktail Sauce
Very cool story, NBB. Thanks.
1. Pharmaceutical ads. Especially ones which make use of a classic song's tune forever destroying it
2. lists of complaints that go on and on
A grievance against grievances. 🤔
Meta-grievance!
Well, I wasn't complaining about others here, let me be clear, I was just making sure I didn't fall into that teap
3) autocorrect (or when it randomly hibernates)
1. The Grim Reaper. Today was my eighth funeral since Thanksgiving. It's time for death to take a holiday, at least around here.
I lost three family members this year, two aunts, one from each side, and a cousin who was a year younger than I am. I'll be happy to show 2018 the door.
fun wolves game after 3.
where's that trash function?
1. Awkward conversations with your kids you never thought you would have to have. (If you're going to sit on the lid of the toilet while waiting for the shower water to heat up please keep some clothes on or sit on your towel.)
I have a lot of 2018 grievances, but right now a terrible customer from yesterday is dominating my thoughts so fully, I can’t think of any of the other grievances. Satisfying in the end, though; despite his insistence on assuming I didn’t know what I was talking about (I have no idea where he was getting this), he went to two other employees with the same question, both of whom brought him to me.
I suppose the other main grievance is that I still work here, period.
Grievances (with a list like this, obviously life is going pretty well):
1. Daylight Savings Time. Neither kid has adapted in the last two months which is just silly.
2. Incompetent, blustering attorney up north. I dread the multiple phone calls and emails each week in which you tell me that I'm "worse than Trump" and have effectively "killed your client." It's not my fault that you don't understand the law, have incorrectly advised your clients, and they have now incurred a bunch of legal fees based upon your completely incorrect understanding of the law. I'm trying my hardest to get this case resolved as quickly as possible to get your clients some closure, but that's hard to do when you are so clueless.
3. Ash. Stop playing werewolf, dude.
4. The light at Lyndale Avenue and 58th Street seems to have gotten a little better, but it's going to remain on my list every year until the put in a sensor that allows it to skip the full cycle when no cars are waiting to make left turns.
5. Jake Cave and the Bad D. At least Danny Santana wasn't a real outfielder when he misplayed every ball hit to him.
6. The Saints. I hope you lose in the most hilarious way possible again in the playoffs.
Re #6. I agree in principle, but when the who dats win games less people get murdered in my town. So, yeah, I guess better rip that band-aid off as soon as possible.
FAQ: Your new, cursed Instant Pot
I'm planning on incoming Baphomet tonight to make pea soup.
NBB Hnos Coot makes greek yoghurt in his I'pot.
I have made yogurt a half dozen times. Best to let it go at least a couple hours beyond the recipe timing for better thickness and tang. But for Greek, don't you then need to drain?
Just talked with my Bro - he said he just scoops out the whey, not straining. But OMG, he is like an InstaPot prophet. It sounds like a religion/political party. Kinda like those apple cider vinegar Mother people.
And your point would be?
😀
Pro tip on split pea: if using ham hocks, make a ham stock with them first.
I should have, but I did use home made turkey stock. It turned out delicious and no one here likes it but me. So I'll be in pea soup heaven for a few days.
Grievences;
1. Ticketmaster and Stub Hub fees -- My Neil Young $50 ticket cost me $74.06 via Ticketmaster
2. The state trooper just outside of Grand Marais who nailed me twice for speeding in a 9 month period
3. Radiohead for continuing to skip the Twin Cities area for a concert
4. Facebook for poor data protection policies, scaring old people, and basically allowing itself to be used by undemocratic forces throughout the world.
5. Twitter for allowing white nationalists to thrive on its platform
6. Climate change deniers
7. People in cars who endanger my life when I ride my bike on City streets
8. Cancer sucks!!!!
Re #7. Yeah, totes. Also, eff people who endanger my life while I’m biking on the no motor vehicle allowed protected bike path. I’m looking at you kids with paintball guns, people driving motorized vehicles, and folks who think it is funny to run full speed across the path as I’m approaching.
One of the most powerful stories you'll read in a long time.
I got something in my eye.
Grievences:
1. The resurrection of fascism.
2. Tom Thibodeau & Derrick Rose still being a part of the Timberwolves organization.
3. The continued lack of flattering pants options for husky fellows such as myself. Yes, I'm fat. Yes, my ass & thighs are thick. No, I don't think that making my pants much larger in that area, and then cut straight down, is going to make that better.
4. Terrible Splatoon 2 teammates in the League pool.
5. How touchy the Bluetooth/USB audio connection stuff is in my 2013 Honda Accord. Fighting with this on bi-weekly 500 mile treks is wildly frustrating.
6. Past Zack can go to hell for offering to bake cookies and bring them to my team summit in mid-January. I have 5 days at home between my current 15 day absence, and the 6 day absence for the summit.
7. HBO & Dish Network failing to come to a deal which leaves me blacked out. I love large media conglomerates.
HBO GO and cut out the middle clowns.
Cable clowns is a definite grievance.
Also, Uverse is our cable and Internet service. Both kinda suck.
In order to wean off of cable, we will need to upgrade our Internet. The current service (allegedly 5 Mbps download) is dodgy and seems to go through phases of dropping connections. A lot.
But our only viable alternative is the cable company....
Where is the competition in this market?
We're trying to figure out this one as well. On the cusp of cancelling DirecTV in Minny, but need to be able to get HGTV, Colbert, and Bundesliga - currently using Xfinity (from Hartford) over Hotspot seems to fill in the gaps.
If you're not in a contract, you've got quite a bit of power. We argued them into slashing 60% off of our bill a month or two ago with DirectTV.
Those are "temporary" rates. And they make it increasingly difficult to manage subsequent pricing. You have to be willing to leave.
They're very temporary, and you have to be willing to leave and to call back next year once they pile everything back on.
We've been doing it for a few years now. It's a hassle, but it's better than paying $130 a month for TV.
I just cancelled DirecTV (not easy, you get put on hold for a while). But now need to figure out a WiFi solution for Scandia. I can do the HotSpot on the iPhone, but then run out of data (at lea$t with my current plan).
Can you do WiFi with DirectV?
1) Strong, healthy people who push the auto-door-opener at Whole Foods. Losers.
2) People who purchase ready-to-eat food and eat just after the checkout. You can't wait to get home?
3) Those who eat things while in the check-out line. You can't wait 3 minutes to get to the ready-eat spot?
4) Those who eat things while shopping. That's stealing!
5) Those who eat in their car in the dark after shopping. Don't want the kids to get it.
6) Non-handicapped people who park in the handicap spaces. And the cops that never ticket them.
7) Plastic packaging around things like batteries. I usually cut myself trying to open them.
8) Those who don't put their shopping carts back in the cart-stalls. 3rd ring of Hell...
9) News web sites that count the number of times you read their stuff then turn you off. Hey this is the internet, I'm just going elsewhere.
10) Companies destroying our language (enjoy the go, make healthy happen, enjoy better, be your way, etc.)
11) When I go to the JCC to swim and all lanes are closed except 1 due to swim-team practice-time. Or they're completely closed due to some esoteric Hebrew holiday (e.g. Maimonides defeated the Hittites back in 4307).
12) Drivers in Hartford. Where chaos rules.
13) Pedestrians on Farmington Avenue. Head's down, they're crossing the street now, hell or high water.
#10 -- Minnesota Twins: This is how we baseball.
#11 -- other than the High Holidays (which are half about grievance), they are pretty much all esoteric and about celebrating an obscure victory (feats of strength) or remembering an ancient grievance.
Judaism was made for Festivus.
Spin class in a Sukkah?
#12. Yes. Unfortunately not limited to the city.
9. I have a browser for normal use and one for which I delete cookies several times a day.
I use private/incognito mode for that. Everything is automatically deleted when the window is closed. There are also extensions that will do that, but it'd require another profile.
I heard this from one of the Hnos, but had to look it up -
Millennials don't own can openers.
Hey. I own a can opener!
I....very rarely USE the can opener.
I like using mine because it usually means I'm making something with chiles in adobo or some sort of tomato sauce.
My chipotles in adobo come in a pop-top can.
As for can opener, isn't it in the opposite end from the bottle opener?!
I have a little aluminum bottle opener from St. Cloud Restaurant Supply that's been on my key chain for 30 years now, so I'm virtually never without a bottle opener. For several years I kept a P-38 on the key chain, too, but I didn't use it enough to justify having it randomly digging into my thigh and cutting up my pocketses.
There's one on almost every Swiss Army knife. Not the easiest to use, but it's there.
Mr. McGuire: I want to say one word to you. Just one word.
Benjamin: Yes, sir.
Mr. McGuire: Are you listening?
Benjamin: Yes, I am.
Mr. McGuire:
PlasticsCocktail SauceVery cool story, NBB. Thanks.
1. Pharmaceutical ads. Especially ones which make use of a classic song's tune forever destroying it
2. lists of complaints that go on and on
A grievance against grievances. 🤔
Meta-grievance!
Well, I wasn't complaining about others here, let me be clear, I was just making sure I didn't fall into that teap
3) autocorrect (or when it randomly hibernates)
1. The Grim Reaper. Today was my eighth funeral since Thanksgiving. It's time for death to take a holiday, at least around here.
I lost three family members this year, two aunts, one from each side, and a cousin who was a year younger than I am. I'll be happy to show 2018 the door.
fun wolves game after 3.
where's that trash function?
1. Awkward conversations with your kids you never thought you would have to have. (If you're going to sit on the lid of the toilet while waiting for the shower water to heat up please keep some clothes on or sit on your towel.)