209 thoughts on “2011 Game 17: Twins at Orioles”

1. Looks like I didn't miss much.

2. Pavano <--- dealing the bullpen holds it's collective breath

3. Nice catch by Span there, he had to go a long way for that one.

4. Whoa, Kubel in left, Delmon with the flu. Our roster is pretty much decimated right now.

   1. Good thing we're playing the O's!

      1. It's a tonic, for sure.

5. can hardly hear the game over the hail

6. I like Hughes. 🙂

   1. I like youse, too, GH.

7. The O's feed has slash lines. Twins producers, if you're reading this (and you obviously are), please make this happen for our games. The fewer teams left that aren't doing it, the more clueless we appear.

   1. Dilbert Creator Pretends to Be His Own Biggest Fan on Message Boards:

      http://gawker.com/#!5792583

      So who knows... perhaps I am Nick Blackburn? Maybe Gardy posts here under a nom de plume. So perhaps there is a Twins producer among us.

      1. Lew Ford would be my best guess for an incognito Twin or ex-Twin 😉

         1. My guess would be Neshek. Or perhaps Slowey, he seems to have a similar sense of humor to a lot of the posters here.

            1. I was Andrew-baiting.

               1. Who?

                  1. sorry. Uh, Moo-Guy-pee?? How did Stick pronounce it?

                     1. "magoo eyed her", i believe, which still makes me chuckle on several levels.

      2. ooh, and "I'm sorry I peed in your cesspool" is destined for a long life.

         1. Sounds like something I'd like to see posted at the Strib.

      3. Wow. After reading that, I'm proud that I never liked Dilbert.

         1. reminds me of the John Lott/Mary Rosh mini-scandal.

            1. john mackey too.

               1. I knew a director of a show in Minneapolis who made three fake online personas for himself to defend his crummy show and blast the critics. Two mistakes: one, his personas all spoke exactly the same way and said almost exactly the same things. Two, the comments section posted IP addresses, so he was caught and mocked immediately.

                  1. I personally think it would be more fun (if I were famous) to go online and rip myself. But that's just me.

                     1. Dude, yeah! And watch all your fans jump to your defense? Way more satisfying.

         2. I like Dilbert- he reminds me of a lot of engineers I work with. The pointy-haired boss is also spot-on for a handful of managers I've been around. Still, Scott Adams seems to be quite the douche from this story.

            1. I work in a large corporation, so the subject matter speaks to me as well. I just never thought it was funny.

               1. agreed...I rarely laugh. But I nod a lot while reading it

         3. I kind of enjoyed the comic since I've worked in cubicle farms for the last 9 years, but I quickly regretted that after his wonderful misogynist rant a few weeks back.

            1. being funny and being a d!ck are not mutually exclusive categories. He didn't actually harm anyone or any puppies, so I'm giving the comic strip (not him) a pass.

               1. 

               2. Oh, and Dilbert is like an "edgy" Garfield.

                  1. without Dogbert, there would be no Bucky Katt or Rat from Pearls.

                     /semi-oblique reference to dead horses (and already referenced below by hj)

      4. without scott adams, there wouldn't have been much "pearls before swine". one more point in his favor, i suppose. much funnier than his works, at least.

8. off topic, but it must be shared. Brian Wilson's beard has GOT to be fake. I mean, c'mon. Look at that thing!

   1. True story: I occasionally watch Giants games when I know he's coming in. Between that ridiculous thing and his weird off-the-field persona, he's one of my favorite players in the league.

   2. My thoughts exactly when his pic showed up on yahoo's homepage today.

9. That is the worst single I've ever seen.

   1. And out number 3 was hit about twice as hard as that single. Ah baseball, you are a funny game sometimes.

      1. yea, if you are gonna have a single....
         

         1. is that what they mean by a singles bar?

      2. Funny as a Crain wreck sometimes.

10. Ted, I've heard PLENTY ENOUGH "FISTED" FOR A LIFETIME, THANK YOU

    1. too much information, Rhu_Ru.

    2. +3 minutes!

11. Nishioka's status as the Twins middle infielder with the most hits (tied) remains intact for another inning.

12. Just to cheer myself up during this early deficit, I decided to look up The Captain's current OPS and was not disappointed: .571

13. C'mon rain!

    1. Radar shows the worst of the storm is north of the city.

14. Turned on the radio in time to catch three "FISTED" whoppers in less than five minutes from Robinson. I blame Span and Tolbert for not hitting the ball squarely, but seriously, Ted needs work on expanding his vocabulary.

    1. "fisted" and "expanding" should probably not be juxtaposed casually.

       1. Oh, no...

       2. I saw a talk last summer about the Wang-Kleitman Theorem.

          1. did the talk run long?

             1. It was about average.

15. Luke Scott sucks!

16. Dentist appointment today. Tonight's dinner is scrambled eggs, tomato soup, and Advil. What's for dinner guys? I need to live vicariously tonight.

    1. Turkey chili from the crock pot, which turned out to be inspired morning planning, the walk home was as cold as it's been for a month or so (bank thermometer said 42).

    2. My first gefilte fish of the year!

    3. empty house tonight. I'm stopping at In-N-Out on the way home for a double-double and fries.

       1. Winning!

       2. still never been there... ::sigh::

    4. Pepperoni pizza once I get home from work from Papa Johans. It's all about that garlic sauce.

       1. Apparently my brain was thinking about Mr. Santana, who I started following on Twitter today. I miss you, Johan. 🙁

       2. I would like a tanker trailer full of Papa John's garlic sauce. How are your supplier contacts, Zack?

          1. Well, I have a friend who used to work there... I wonder what kind of strings I could pull?

             1. Maybe if I steal that muscle car that Papa John is so proud of I can get the sauce as part of the ransom...

    5. Leftover kung pao chicken.

       1. cold, from the carry-out container??

          1. I will re-heat it, probably in a bowl. Haven't gotten that far yet.

    6. pasta with a tomato/bacon sauce, hot lettuce, and portafeu (italian, spanish, and french, oh my).

       1. hot lettuce? Did you shred and add to the sauce or what?

          1. peckish jane's creation. cut it into thick chucks (iceberg), salted and vinegar, then doused with the sauce. simple, but quite tasty.

             1. Interesting. I've read about stir-fries with lettuce, and other cooked lettuce recipes, but have never pulled the trigger. I need to give one a try.

                1. actually, the lettuce isn't cooked in this (though we've cooked with lettuce plenty of times). the spanish name is "cogollos al ajillo".

             2. by the way, by "peckish jane's creation", i mean that as she is the one that "created" it from scratch, not as the inventor of that particular dish. sorry for any confusion.

                1. I'm confused a lot, so I'm glad to hear that you are willing to take responsibility.

    7. Strip steaks, baked sweet potatoes, and sugar snap peas. A cheapbeer (tripel!),].

       1. love that tripel. You've been blessed, CH.

          1. A very considerate Citizen gave me three bottles last time I saw him.

             1. A very considerate Citizen
                Lots of that going around lately. Hope you enjoyed the tripel, I know I did.

       2. that sounds like an all-around feast.

17. Feel the Force, Luke.

    1. A Jedi are you not.

18. I'd ask if the Twins are winning, but the way my day is going I know they're not.

    1. If I were you, I'd go with that instinct.

19. Dazz claiming he'd set up a Boof Bonser for Mark Reynolds trade. Hah.

    1. A guy who strikes out a ton for a pitcher that can't go more than five innings? Sure, why not?

20. Seven hitters in the O's lineup hitting under .235 so far? Looking at the names in the lineup, that seems pretty unlucky. Granted they've got a couple guys well past their prime, but Markakis, Jones, Scott, and Wieters all ought to be decent hitters. Reynolds should be a decent hitter, too, but his low average isn't surprising.

    1. Yes, but Andino's hitting about 800/900/1 trillion against the Twins.

    2. Reynolds was a Yakima Bear when I worked for them in 2004. He struck out quite a bit but his average hadn't fallen to hilarious levels yet. Traditional fans must despise the guy.

       1. Sounds like Dazzle is a Reynolds fan, so go figure.

          1. Yeah, that's...confusing me.

21. This game is going to turn out like one two years ago I predict.

    1. Former Twin Brian Bass with the win!

22. Have we reached the "I hope Pavano eats some innings in this stinker" stage yet?

    1. Yes. Not the performance I needed from him in my non-WGOM fantasy league tonight.

    2. We were at that stage before the game started, minus the "in this stinker"

    3. I am always hoping our starters come hungry for innings. I hear the innings taste better with some run support on the side, though.

       1. It's true. Run support is both nutritious and delicious!

23. Wiggle. That could have been a couple of runs worse.

24. We have our win for this series already.

    1. +12

    2. good to see that the change of venue has improved your optimism.

       THE TWINS ARE GONNA WIN THIS GAME week.

       /New Guy channeling

25. Tolbert,

    I don't ask much of you, but if you could hit a dinger right now, that would be great.

    Love,

    Greek House

    1. Dear Tolbert,

       I could have looked at three pitches. You suck.

       Love,

       Greek House

    2. He doesn't love you.

       Or he sucks.

    3. Tolbert,

       I don't ask much of you, but if you could hit a dinger right now, that would be greatamazing.

       Love,

       Greek House bhiggum

26. We don't get something here and I'm gonna....

    have another beer.

    1. Bottoms up!

    2. Beer time!

    3. time for a round.

27. Looks like Span was pretty lucky to get that walk based on the location of the first two pitches.

28. wow. that sucked, tolbert.

    1. Watched all three pitches, all three pretty well in the zone. And after Arrieta got ahead on Tolbert, he threw him off-speed pitches, which shouldn't be terribly surprising in that circumstance.

29. Have the Twins had an inning this entire season in which they batted around?

    1. Laddie, field your frickin' postion.

       1. Hmm, I appear to be out of position and missing an "eye". Fitting I'm nested under the pirate and complaining about Casilla.

    2. Sure, why there's just the other...oh, wait, you mean the Twins batters?

    3. Yes. In the game that they lost 10-5 to the Royals, they batted around one inning.

30. WTF, Alexi.

    1. I'm guessing by this comment, Lee had more of a "single" than a single.

       1. He almost had a "double."

    2. That throw would have been amazing if the bases were 120 feet apart.

31. Eric Hacker and Dusty Hughes warming up. Oh boy.

32. LuKe Scott SucKs!!!

33. Anyone else catch the Super Mario Bros music in the background at the stadium after Pavano walked Jones?

    1. Ha! I did notice that, but didn't put two and two together until you mentioned it.

34. 

35. Throw him the hook, Carl.

    1. Throw in the towel, Carl.

36. GOSO

37. Gee, thanks, Carl.

    1. my feed's behind.

       aaaaaaand, there it is. eff word.

38. You might as well let him finish it the inning now, Gardy.

39. Ugh. The Wieters jokes aren't as funny when he's being awesome.

    1. Only someone with Butera as the regular catcher would consider .209/.277/.395 awesome.

       1. I dunno, I look at that and figure he'll hit better than .209 eventually, he's getting an alright walk rate, and solid power.

          1. Plus, I don't think Butters has ever hit a ball as far as Wieters just did to clear the bases.

       2. And anyway, it was a reaction to the single at-bat, nothing further.

40. Ok, I'm done. But, just to remind you that this is a good day,
    

    1. If schadenfreude makes you feel any better, the double-double I ordered turned out to be only a single when I got home with it.

       At least they charged me for a single. Small favors.

41. Another Tuesday game I missed. This one I'm glad I wasn't watching for.

42. Yuck, Carl. Your mustache permit is very close to being revoked.

43. Basketball!

44. I would be fine with playing anyone but Casilla at SS for the next month or so.

    1. Hell, put _elm_n at short and Cuddyer at second. It couldn't get any worse than it already is.

       1. I was thinking Kubel at SS, but watching _elm_n dive for grounders would make the nonexistent defense worth it.

       2. that wasn't a stellar throw by laddie, no, but hughes should have been able to catch that. on the replay, when the ball was getting to him, he was looking squarely down at the ground.

          1. I'm not giving him all the blame, but that play and Lee's grounder earlier just don't give me any confidence that Alexi will ever get his focus to where it needs to be.

45. eyes on the ball, luke.

46. As Butch turned it over to the Knicks-Celtics, "I can only watch so much of that."

47. Mauer to shortstop!

48. I'm going to watch a movie with Shia LeBeouf in it.

    1. Come on, Rhu, things aren't that bad! Don't do that to yourself!

       1. Just keep him away from the Keanu and Bullock.

          1. Yeesh, it just gets uglier and uglier, don't it?

49. I figures that I win the trivia question again tonight and no one's around to hear it.

    1. Well, congrats, I guess. What was the question?

       1. Easy one. Dazzle should give the answer sometime soon; Multiple choice, which Twins player didn't win a ROY? Oliva, Carew, Hrbek, blah, blah

          1. I heard them give the question earlier, I guess. I was thinking Hrbek, but I really have no clue.

             1. There it was. And I remembered to add my city/state before the question was asked, too.

50. Down to about a 1 in 200 chance of winning.

    1. Never tell me the odds.

       

51. So in an 8-run blowout, Hughes is going to face just two hitters? And we have how many lefties in the bullpen? It's obviously easier to run a bullpen when the pitchers are doing well, but sometimes I don't have a lot of sympathy for managers running short on pitchers available in the bullpen.

52. Hacker makes his debut for the Twins- yay.

    1. 0.02 LI for Hacker when he entered--could be well on his way to being the new Groundskeeper!

       1. Yes, an auspicious start- doesn't get much lower leverage than 0-8.

53. Hey, seems like I caught a good game. How's things?

    1. If you were behind the plate of an early evening softball game tonight, then congrats. If not, your sarcasm is unappreciated. 😛

    2. Nothing a nine-run rally can't cure.

54. Ted, you dolt -- Hrbek kept his rookie status in '82; he lost because Ripken won it.

    1. Okay, that's better.

    2. I'm really not a fan of ol' Ted. He seems to throw gasoline on the goml fire that is the Dazzle.

       1. That's one of Ted's strong points, in my book. Maybe he'll get Dazzle worked up enough to drop a Bert-style F-bomb and give us a few unscheduled Dazzle-free broadcasts.

55. The White Sox lost to the Rays today. I want to be excited about that, but it hardly seems worth it if the Twins won't even sniff .500...

    1. A White Sox loss is always a good thing, but damn, the Twins need to get going here.

    2. Just 5 home games for the Twins in their first 19. It was probably bound to be a slow start, though it didn't need to be this slow...

       Looking into it a bit more, last year, AL teams were .568 at home and .432 on the road. Through 17 games, with 5 at home and 12 on the road, I guess that figures to a pretty even 8-9 record. (Reminder to self: home/road split is small, though non-zero in baseball.)

       So if the Twins wind up at 6-11 instead of 8-9, they're really just two wins off of what you'd expect from a .500 team. So it kind of is sniffing .500 in that light. In some other stretch of the season, a .500 team would be expected to go 9-8 and a couple extra wins could give the Twins a 11-6 stretch, which looks a lot better than 9-8 in terms of games over .500, but is really just a couple more wins over 17 games.

56. Wait, so the graphic of Target Field Gameday uses has sparsely populated seats but Camden Yards is packed?

    1. the upper decks are just middlin'

    2. Maybe they're playing the Red Sox.

57. Dazzle, "Dan Schatsnader"?

58. Repko gets to be the honorary TynyDH for garbage time.

59. Hey, look what I found.

    

    1. Well, it looks like we brought the cap but forgot to pack the mojo.

60. Groundskeeper Twitchy. Hoo boy, that's depressing.

    1. Hopefully he keeps the O's off the board to keep it from getting more depressing.

       1. Baby steps, yeah.

          1. Looks like he's leaving a lot of pitches over the middle of the plate or way outside.

61. I wish Joe was in for a different reason.

62. Seeing Joe in garbage time isn't quite as soul crushing as watching Neshek tossing meatballs last year, but it's close.

    1. Spoke a little too soon.

    2. Very close.

63. Argh.

64. Shia. LeBeouf.

    1. Only if his typically stellar cinematic performance is counterbalanced by that of an equally emotive thespian such as Megan Fox.

       1. If only those two had made such a well-directed movie, I would probably watch it.

       2. Why is LaBeouf being put in her league? He's almost never done a good movie, but he has a reasonable amount of talent.

          1. I got nothing against Shia, really, I just like snark. I've been watching him act since he was on Even Stevens.

          2. 'Cause she's insanely hot and crazy, and he's kinda goofy looking. Plus, Shia didn't do himself any favors with the Indiana Jones thing.

             1. Well, he didn't write nor direct it.

                1. Yeah, those guys aren't going to get much work again, are they? 😉 I don't have anything against Shia, he's just been in some rather bleah movies. I did enjoy Eagle Eye.

65. Tolbert this.

    [roadkill.jpg]

66. Hooooo boy. They tacked on 3 runs while I was driving home? Sigh.

67. Nuked the fridge.

68. [explosion.jpg]

69. Time to nuke this fridge, Lego style.

    

70. the O's had an 8 game losing streak coming into the game, so I guess they were due for a win

    1. also, no Morneau and Delmon, it sucks playing short handed

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