Tonight on the 4ltr, the Red Sawks play*, and the Yankmees don't!!!!111one111!!! How did that happen?
Anyway, there is some sort of milestone at stake (Tim Wakefield seeks career win 200, including many games NOT against the Yankmees).
In order to provide context for the milestone, there may or may not be another team on the field. However, it is rumored that two non-Sawks players that 4ltr viewers may have heard of, Joe Mauer and Jim Thome, may be mentioned. Mauer, because his iconic sideburns are two of the most notable features of flyover America, and Thome because he too is within striking distance of a milestone of sorts, even though it is likely to happen in obscurity unless it happens tonight.
Bring the snark, kids. That's what we are playing for.
*some guy named Booker or Barker or something is starting for the other team, in case anyone cares.
your opening literally made made LOL
Looks like I'm shut out from ESPN3 here. Well, that's an onion in the ointment.
Don't you have MLB.tv?
Gu-wha?! I thought ESPN games were blocked by MLB.tv. Apparently not. I should have F5ed this sooner...
Only Sunday Night Baseball and playoffs on ESPN, I believe, are blacked out on mlb.tv.
I assume I knew that at some point, what with me having used this for three years. Well, no harm done, except that I missed the first three Twins runs.
Tim Wakefield is so old, he played with Barry Bonds when Bonds was a Pirate. And the Pirates went to the playoffs.
I was going to try to follow that, but it's so good, it is essentially unfollowable. Well played, dw.
Wakefield has been pitching longer than Bert was HOF eligible.
Ooh. I stand corrected.
better go grab something to eat downstairs at the restaurant; how about getting a lead or somethin' by the time I get back?
be more specific next time, Rhu. There's a lead.
is Delmon playing for the Sawks?
M.V.P. Most Versatile Player.
just like that!!! 1-1
Gameday mini stuck on "in play, run(s)"
No RBI?
error on the catcher apparently
Scorers strike after Ortiz lost his.
JI-
JIM
I like this version of Wakefield.
uno
'Wheels' Thome!!!!
I totally spookied that.
Thomers stole home!
Tolbot's all over the sub-70mph stuff.
Good, quick inning for Baker. More commercials for 4ltr!!!
Rick Sutcliffe doing all he can tonight to justify his place as worst baseball commentator at ESPN.
That is one tall oder, er order.
Foiled by auto correct
so, is the rule "If your OPS is under 700, you may swing only at fastballs; otherwise, hope the knucklers miss"??? I'd go with that.
I see what you're having for dinner, and I approve.
I'm glad that somebody reads the tags
3-1, hey - good job, guys!
holy cow, Thome had tons of hair when he hit his first homer
SMACKED!
Dude! I miss saying that
DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE!!!!!!!!!!!1
How 'bout some back-to-back jack?
Why is Danny trying to emulate _elm_n???
He's been doing it all year, and I'm not amused.
That's the way, uh-huh u-huh I liiiike it.
Just logged on to WGOM and the game and all is right with the world.
For now.
My wife saw the score and said: "they're not sucking now"
I replied: "There's still a good deal of game yet."
With Baker pitching, I'd like to think he can keep the sucking at bay. But somehow getting 4 runs on the board helps a lot.
Oh, I feel good about Baker, its the after-Baker I worry about.
Barker can suck plenty.
I have to say I like the HS Baker better than the non-clean-shaven Baker.
And I like the Baker better than the non-Bakers.
Another quick inning for Baker. Now, if he can just get through the sixth....
(career OOPS in the 6th is -- GULP -- 887, compared to 683 over innings 1-3)
This one's all up to him, because the idea of our bullpen against this lineup is really no good.
Sheesh, you nailed that one, bS. Pull it together, Baker!
What's his career OOPS in the 7th inni-- aw, never mind.
Damnit, Tolbot. I told you not to swing at any knuckleballs.
Praise pussies!!!
I always...nope, I'm gonna back away from this one.
cat got your tongue?
Alwa...oh, damn you, bS, you're baiting me again...
Dick's saying he never watches games 3, 4 and 5 when he watches the 1987 World Series, and he wonders why any Twins fan would. What a tool. Part of the reason the last two games were so great is because they came on the heels of those losses. I'm over-thinking this, but it feels like he's saying when he watches The Godfather, he skips the stuff about Michael becoming the new Don.
When I get those DVD's, I'm going to watch those games first just to spite Dick.
He probably skips over Mufasa's death.
Dick only watches Andy's escape from Shawshank prison.
I can see skipping those games. Games 6 & 7 are just great knowing they were must-win without actually having to watch the losses. Besides, I've seen enough already this year.
Dick doesn't believe that any man can eat 50 eggs.
Give that man a (cool) hand.
I assume Dick skips to Frodo destroying the ring.
oh man, SPOILER!!
Wow, I was typing nearly this exact thing. Thank you, F5.
Frodo? Is that Fredo's long lost twin brother? Say, I have an idea for The Godfather 4!
4?
But there were only two!!!???
I was gonna make a joke about fat tubs of goo, but I hope it's just a chicken bone or something that he swallowed.
Huh, I expected that to be about Matt Capps.
I haven't clicked it yet, but I legitimately did too.
just the Red Sawks' version.
Ugh. I would have preferred Capps...thinking of Jenks's colon isn't much fun.
I'm expecting Capps to be a Red Sox next season. Theo seems to sign a lot of portly pitchers who I'd classify as "white trash."
Danger! Danger, Will Robinson!
I'm Fat Tire-ing it tonight, as the Milkmaid's other purchase was Sam Adams Cherry Wheat (which, I'll admit, isn't as horrid as I was remembering).
I desperately hate marascino cherries, so that beer will always be as horrid as I remember.
I only took one drink of it, and it was accidental (I could have sworn I'd picked up a Fat Tire). I didn't like it, but I think if it was the only option available, I'd be alright.
pass 'em over to me, ct
Maraschino cherries are just fine. When they are in a Manhattan.
f-ing sixth inning.
I know how this one ends.
geez, with that hairy crap on Pedroia's face, he looks like a star of a Geico commercial.
Geckos have peach fuzz?
that scraggly thatch is an insult to peach fuzz
I am glad that I only have Gameday.
I like him way less than the neanderthals, though (no, I do not particularly care for the neanderthals).
[Dido.jpg] and [Dido.jpg]
Well the good news is the Twins are still winning...
nevermind.
That didn't last
The good news is they aren't losing yet...
Boo.
Alright, I'm out. I have better things to do.
well sh!t fire on a dynomite stick
🙁
I'm sitting here with a smile on my face, thinking about hoisin pork.
I was just mentioning the Milkmaid how nice it was to have a large lead for the first time in a while. Sigh.
Well, at least I got to watch the three Twins highlight vids on Gameday before the Sawks' explosion relegated them to the way, way bottom.
On the bright side, we get another Thome-Wakefield PA, right?
Looks like Timmy wants nothing to do with Thome.
wait, foul ball off Mauer's mask, and ump gives Baker a yellow card?!
Sounds about right.
So when do we find out that Gibson is getting TJ? I want the damn bad mojo to end ASAP.
Yeah, I'm just waiting for him to get it out of the way.
I'm banking on divine intervention.
Apparently no TJ... yet. Further diagnosis tomorrow. Frown.
That Kurkjian segment on Nishi was brutal but pretty accurate from what I've seen. If even his fellow teammates think he is AAA it's really hard to see him turn it around. Maybe Nishi can become Rochester's highest paid player.
This cheered me up a bit.
I liked the old guy in the front who stayed in his seat, kind of stone-faced until AFTER the catch, then handing him his hat.
The Doomsday Machine. My cue to go home.
I'm going to keep staring at the trainwreck.
According to the script on his glove it's Mechanic. If you're Phil Dumatrait, you don't get a sweet nickname like that.
It's a typo. It's supposed to read Maniac. As in, Matchbook Seeks Maniac.
They're not saying "PLOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUFE"
plouf-da
So I'm pretty sure it's a lead pipe lock that Capps is going to give up a grand slam to the laser show.
Is someone nicknamed "The Laser Show", now?
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DPvMOVFshyI
Okay, I am now fully on the Petunia sucks bandwagon. What a tool.
How could you have not been on it before?!
He's a bit of a cock, but I sure wish he played for our team.
I guess because I had never heard him
crowspeak.httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7QGqQIlRibY
Gaah, make it stop!
oh, that is sweet.
I'm assuming Crawford was trying for a base hit on his bunt, there. Or he's really stupid. Maybe both.
Or Dumatrait is so bad it takes 5 pitches to give up a sac bunt. Oy.
speaking of Frodo, is that him playing 2b for the Sawks?
That makes Youkilis Gollum, right?
That would make Scutaro Samwise.
Looks more like Gollum.
I think there's about nine Gollums playing for the Sawks.
up and in to Pedroia. Capps' best pitch this season
Time for him to accumulate some positive WPA.
and there you go. Pitcher of the Game.
Yes!
Hey- Capps and Danny V both did something good, on the same play. What's going on with this game?
Well, how about that.
That'll do.
I was just waiting for poor defense or some other clusterfrick, but no dice. It was just...the Twins doing the little things.
Cappy with the nifty escape. Huh.
Fat man escapes punishment.
Is it too much to ask that he turn into LaTroy Hawkins (2002-03)??
That inmate is ready to turn into Gilbert Grape's mom.
Blind squirrel just found a nut.
That would also describe my feelings if DY manages to get a hit on a knuckleball.
Activate Tolbot dink.
I just got here, but I have to say...that was quite unexpected by Capps!
And not so unexpected by Tolbert.
Ok, I'm really done now.
How in the hell do you get caught stealing on a 73 mph pitch? God I hate Tolbert.
Not just caught, but thrown out by about 10 feet.
Did he wait to run until he saw the catcher catch the ball?
Little League rules.
Sweet mother of route--what was that, Delmon?
I bet Del is lousy at billiards.
I didn't see the play. Can I dedude a carom from your comment?
A ricker-shay, if you will.
Good hands, Joe.
Tolbot throws a knuckler, I say
Oh, Mauer...
The little things suck.
Mauer had better hit 3 home runs this inning.
Mauer had better hit 3 home runs this
inningseason.don't push it
Happens all the time; make an error in the top of an inning, hit 3 homers in the bottom. But only if the guy is leading off the inning.
OK now get him in.
Ploufferdoodle double!
Delmon's been teaching Plouffe how to slide, I see.
Cuddy go fizzle.
I want Kubel back next year.
KUBES!
Needless to say, but a game-winning HR for #599 would be very cool.
Duderino!
So, the 200th win won't come against the Twins. That's about as much as I dared to hope for.
Silver lining moment of the game, right there.
I suppose there's no guarantee that the 200th win won't come against the Twins. It just won't today. Those danged knucklers...maybe he'll be at 201 by the end of this series.
Top of the lineup for the Sox.
Hold 'em and there's a fair chance of winning.
But hold them dammit.
You expect a lot from the Twins bullpen and their offense.
Repko in for Kubel...we're playing with fire if this thing goes to extras.
What, you don't want Rectal in the lineup?
I like to get Rectal as rarely as possible.
You know Spooky, in some ways, we're very similar people.
I haven't stopped giggling at this yet.
That throw from Cuddyer was pretty incredible.
I know the season is over, but I really really really want them to win this game
I'm experiencing this feeling tonight too. Is it that it's the Sawks? Probably.
there's a base open if you want to hit him, Twitchie
Three hits this inning, and Gameday describes all of them as "soft". Just call it the Charmin offense.
Geez, Ortiz went the other way there.
If you'd done that here you coulda stayed a Twin.
woulda missed out on the 'roids, then, though
He could've gotten some from Rincon.
was Rincon in the bigs or in the minors then? I thought he was in the minors
Bob Wells?
If Bob Wells was on steroids, I want an explanation of why he was so out of shape and such a crummy pitcher.
He had to be using something. Those home runs against him went a looooooooong way.
Ha! man, that reply is so out of right field, reminds me of Charles Durning in To Be or Not to Be
Well, if I had anything better to do, I'd go do it.
Oh, frigging Ortiz.
Does it feel like that 5-0 lead happened about a week ago?
It was 5-1, but yes, it's a distant memory now.
Ugh, this sucks. Why tease me for so long before this?
a question man has pondered a long time
Oh, I don't even get teased anymore.
+1 ring to rule them all
There's no closer in the majors that bugs me more than douchebon.
when you get a home plate camera shot of both Papelbon and Pedroia, well, it's too much
Detroit's dancing fool comes close, though.
And this Boston lead gives me a chance to see Papelboner. It just keeps getting better.
Ooh, a Revere for Tolbert pinch-hit! Pulling out all the stops to win this one!
That was terrible.
Yup. Time to play the young guys. Well, and Thome, so he can get two more taters.
The young guys on this team could play us right into the #1 draft pick. I like it.
Unfortunately the strongest draft in many years was this year's, not next's.
#1 would be worth tossing the rest of this season. There's gotta be a toolsy high-school outfielder out there for the Twins to take at the top of the draft.
Well, that was a laugh riot.
Blah.