100 thoughts on “December 23, 2016: The Impossible”

  1. I haven't gotten the 24th off since I joined my company, either. But then, I pretty much knew that going in.

  2. with the 25th being a Sunday, I get the 26th off too. w00t.

    forecast is rain, rain, and more rain for today and tomorrow. Snow is dumping in the Sierras.

    1. Same. I've also got the 2nd off, so I've got 11 straight days off, which is crazy to me. Of course it'll be just me and the kids all next week so I'm not really sure just how "off" it is.

    2. I usually have the last 2 weeks of December off and a little ways in January depending on how the calendar falls, but of course, being an independent contractor, it just means that I don't make money for half a month. Christmas falling on the weekend always helps and this year we've been doing a lot of training so I've been able to help with that, which has made a big difference, especially since I had used the money I had set aside to cover me for the time off to pay for plumbing repairs a couple weeks ago.

    3. About the best part of the academic lifestyle is the ridiculous amount of time off. I turned in grades on Tuesday. I'm teaching an extra class during our winter session, but if I didn't I'd be off until the end of February. Even with that extra class, I don't start back until January 9.

      Then again, the kids don't start back until the 9th either, and my wife will be out of town the first week of January, so I will likely be doing more work that first week chasing our little monsters around than I would if I were actually "working"

      1. Dr. Chop falls off a cliff the week after thanksgiving and then slowly recovers til mid January. She works a lot of hours during the semester, and crafts a lot during the down time. I'm totes jeals.

  3. We are making an offer on a house. The owners will be taking closed bids, to be opened on the 27th. Our realtor suggested that we write a personal note to the owners to accompany our bid.

    I wanted to suggest that we say they should take our bid or I will bury them up to their necks in an ant hill and smear their heads with honey.

    1. My wife wrote a note when we made the offer for our house and it worked, even though ours was a contingent offer and the other wasn't.

      1. I had a friend that sold to someone after getting a big story. The purchasers flipped the house.

        1. When we bought our first house, we put offers on about 10 different homes, and they always picked someone else. Then, we added a letter and switched to a loan that was only available to teachers, and we got the next one we offered, and were told that was the reason.

          When we sold that house, we had 4-5 essentially identical offers and picked the family that wrote a letter and that we had met when they came to look at the house. So, sometimes it does make a difference, especially if there are multiple offers.

          1. unfortunately, the owners have only owned this house for 6-7 years. Not sure how invested they are in the neighborhood.

            For us, this is my wife's "dream house" and the place we expect to spend the next 30-40 years.

    2. You could try reverse psychology. "Fine. We'll take your house if you absolutely have to get rid of it, but you're going to have to pay us for the hassle."

      1. Sadly, they are likely to get multiple offers. We are offering a bit over asking, with a contingent escalator (a grand over competing offers up to a ceiling). And anticipating getting outbid. #firstworldproblems #bubblingrealestatemarkets #ihatethebayarea

  4. Okay if people want Festivus.

    Stef's mom was diagnosed with duodenum cancer. She has whipple surgery on Tuesday, then chemo. 50% chance of success.

    She's my wife's only family left that she hasn't disowned (refer to probate post from last week). She's her best friend. Hell, she's one of mine.

    1. Oh man, sorry to hear that.

      Two days ago, Sheenie learned that her father's cousin (with whom we're very close) has six weeks to a year because his cancer returned and he's not going to fight it again. Then, later that day, she learned her "aunt" (to whom she closer than any of her actual aunts) has uterine cancer and is starting chemo this week. That was a very rough day.

          1. Nth.

            We are headed to Santa Fe on sunday. Stone setting for my FiL is in the middle of the week, IIRC. Hard to believe it has been a year already.

  5. Here's a grievance: my kids are trying to kill me. The jalapeño (6) is so excited about Christmas that it's nigh impossible to get him to sleep at a reasonable hour, so I've been in and out of his room until 10:00 or so every night instead of accomplishing actual holiday prep. And the peperoncino seems to be going through some sort of developmental thing (he's almost exactly 3 1/2) that's causing him to be awake for extended periods in the middle of the night. (He's not crying or ill, he just wants a drink and needs to go potty and then will quietly play with a toy in his crib while I lay on his floor drifting in and out of sleep.) Two nights ago he and I were up for at least a couple hours starting at 1:30 a.m. and last night it was about one hour.

    1. awake for extended periods in the middle of the night. He's not crying or ill, he just wants a drink and needs to go potty and then will quietly play with a toy in his crib

      Sounds like my sleep pattern. Which I guess is a grievance that I'm airing.

      1. Oh, man. This.

        Except the order is not quite right. Get up because need to pee, then can't get back to sleep. Then wishing I had a drink.

    2. I'll just dido this, because it's close enough to what we've had going on recently. Pure pain. Nothing getting accomplished.

      1. On the one hand, in the grand scheme of things it's a really minor issue. On the other hand, enough loss of sleep makes me less compassionate and less generous toward all those around me, and I don't like that.

        Here's hoping it gets better for you--and Rhu--sooner rather than later!

    3. I know the airing of grievances is meant to be a "get-it-off-your-chest" session, so I'll preface this with, "Ugh, I've been there."

      FKB-type response SelectShow
      1. Spoiler for some reason I guess.... SelectShow
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  6. Grievances

    Minnesota big time sports teams (Male Division) My God. Ineptitude, desultory effort, clueless management, awful ownership. Is there a worse market for big time mens sports than this one right now? I'm getting sick of being sold "hope."

    Baby Boomers. Self-centered, it's all about me since the 1950's. Will go out leaving the world a much worse place than what was given to them and they were given a world recovering from a world war that literally killed millions upon millions of people.

    Hollywood Movies. There is practically no movies available for an adult who has very little interest in a Super Hero universe or video game. CGI spectacles has taken over for writing, character development, and cogent plot lines.

    'Politics Division' SelectShow

    Cancer Sucks!

          1. Thirded.

            But I'll at least echo free's complaints about our sports market and baby boomers. Long live millenials!

            A major shout out to stubborn, argumentative five year olds.

    1. anti-grievances SelectShow
        1. Like shooting fish in a barrel SelectShow
  7. Whipped up the Cherry Winks last night. Mrs Runner used a box of Corn Flake crumbs instead of the standard Corn Flakes hand-mashed to small pieces. While tasting fine, I think we all missed the bit of extra crunch. Next up are the Sandbakkels. One of my mom's best Christmas gifts was a set of Sandbakkel tins to Runner daughter.

    1. Every time someone mentions a pet getting rescued I picture the poor animal tied to the tracks as a train barrels down.

  8. In new music news, dr. Dog just dropped an album with no press. If you buy it now they'll donate the proceeds to the southern poverty law center.

  9. My non-forbidden-zoney grievances:

    Administrative BS that does nothing to actually help students. It's like the higher ups think we would not do any teaching at all if they weren't watching over every detail. I guess all the new, ever-growing layers of administrators need to give themselves something to do with their time.

    Coworkers who don't do their damn jobs. This has been an issue for me for years, as I'm usually someone who jumps in to do things when something needs to be done. Others in my department, not so much. So far I've just put up with it, but now that I'm co-department chair, I get an even clearer look at who does what. You've known you need to do (admittedly BS [see above...]) administrative paperwork since August. You've known it was due three days ago for at least two months. How is it you still haven't done what you need to do? How is it ok that I am forced to wait until you finally finish your part before I can do the rest of the (administrative BS) work I need to do, pushing it further and further into my holiday time with family?

    Being sick during the holidays. It's just a cold, but while we're traveling to see family is not the time I want to be laid up feeling crappy.

    People who break into someone else's house and steal stuff.

    Dog poop on the floor. Currently about a once-a-day occurrence in our house. I know our dogs are getting quite old, but when I let them outside and they go on the floor within one minute of coming back in (and one even did it while she was in the process of walking in the door), it's hard to believe it isn't intentional.

  10. Grieve on:

    Twins Illustrating Definition of Insanity: Doing the same thing and expecting different results. We'll see if the new brain trust can shake free enough Pohlad dollars to make this team a contender again.

    Pretty Much Everything About the NFL: Do I really need to elaborate? Okay, the Cleveland Browns have lost all 14 games they've played this season and may not win even one game. Parity!

    Being Sick for the Holidays: Or for birthdays, while on vacation, etc. Seems to be a popular grievance this year.

    People Who Collide with Your Parked Car and Flee: This happened to me twice this year, both times to my front bumper, once on each side. The second one left big blue paint streaks on my bumper and knocked out the fog light on the passenger side. Fuckers.

    Eligible Voters Who Fail to Exercise Their Franchise: Democracy is not a spectator sport. Might come a time when it's no longer offered as an option.

    Kittens That Climb Into And Destroy Christmas Trees: We got one this year but didn't realize it until after Thanksgiving. The Festivus pole might be our only alternative for years to come.

  11. Here we go:

    Federal Rule of Civil Procedure 4(d)(1)(C)

    I can't fathom how this rule is difficult to follow. It states exactly how to comply.

    Health Issues For Various People

    As discussed above, cancer sucks. But so did having a cold since the Twin Cities Marathon. Just once, I would like to sleep through the night again without waking up to a study nose. Oh, and miscarriages still suck, too.

    College Athletics

    GW wins the NIT and then fires its coach in the most bizarre scandal. Everyone leaks more and more preposterous stories, and we'll never know what truly happened behind the scenes. Worse, the only GW basketball fan website now is so polarized that it's become less fact-based than Breitbart.

    Plus, just by living in this state, I'm exposed to LOLeidner and his ragtag bunch. Go away. For ever.

    The Current

    I'm thankful you pushed me to the KMOJ Morning Show by hiring Brian Oake, but I want to be able to flip over occasionally and not hear Bon Iver within ten minutes.

    The Twins

    Not going to add much to what's been rehashed here before, but least we forget, someone thought Miguel Sano could play rightfield with minimal training.

  12. I'll add mine:

    That everything political has to be an either/or left/right agree/disagree proposition. Can't we please find some common ground?

    My kid finding the treats that were tabbed for the Christmas stockings. Now I gotta buy new stuff, and also I have a giant box of fruit snacks that I wish I didn't have if it isn't going into stockings.

    Our Current Tax Schemes. My problem isn't with the taxes themselves, it's with the complexity. There's a lot of complexity there. I mean, I'm getting paid to figure it out sometimes, but... we should be able to make this stuff easier, shouldn't we?

    Olives. You know... I just don't like 'em. I've tried to get to like 'em. I was able to teach myself to like tomatoes and cucumbers. But olives? Olives are the worst.

    People Dying. Because I miss them.

    Food Being Thrown Away. So I grew butternut squash this summer. I had about 10 of 'em, stored in the garage in an out-of-the-way corner until it got too cold. I was going to make butternut squash soup for Thanksgiving. The week before, my mother-in-law decided she didn't know what they were and she didn't want them around any more, so she fed them to the cows. Gah! She also threw away the pearl barley that my Grandma made, because she thought it looked weird and old, even though it had only been in the freezer for a week... Double Gah!

    1. we should be able to make this stuff easier, shouldn't we?

      The IRS already knows what you owe. Tax companies have successfully lobbied to not have the IRS just tell you/deduct the amount.

      1. This is one heck of an incorrect opinion. I made chicken "gyros" the other day and made an olive tapenade to go on it . Delicious

        1. I..I...I can't even.

          also, I am super glad that cheaps had the self-awareness to put quotes around "gyros" above. Chicken gyros should not be a thing.

          1. It definitely feels wrong to even have it in quotes there, but it's the same in construction save for the meat so it's the best descriptor. Still delicious though.

                1. I used to love Mezzetta's Italian Antipasto Olives, by far my favorites. Big green pitted suckers with roasted red pepper strips, garlic cloves and peperoncini in a white wine brine. They were discontinued this year. Bah, humbug.

  13. Grievances:

    Marketing departments. Not only are you not fooling me, but I think the level of BS you create is only slightly surpassed by cable news.

    Crohn's disease. Mrs. Hayes' post-pregnancy hasn't resulted in another hospitalization or surgery, thank goodness, but I think that's a pretty low bar.

    The Pohlads. You squandered the temporary advantages of the beautiful new ballpark the public built for your baseball team with an out-of-touch management cadre, some of whom (DSP) you have retained after a much-needed regime change in the front office.

    College athletics. The amount of attention, money, and university resources given over to this dumpster fire infuriates me.

    Bratwurst. Polish sausages are superior encased meats.

    LEED-platinum codes. I love that my building was renovated to be kinder to the environment. I just wish there were days when I could set my thermostat lower than 68° or open my office's damn 15-foot-tall window eight inches.

    Metro. My bus route has been nut-to-butt in the colder months of the year. I watch other routes' buses drive by, half-empty, more frequently. We've been telling you it's like this for a couple years now.

    Gentrification. My bus route travels through neighborhoods that are becoming more starkly pitched between expensive apartments & condos aimed at childless Millennials and Boomer-owned houses no lower middle class young family can afford. massive luxury apartments for college students with rooftop infinity pools and multi-thousand dollar monthly rents have sprouted up in the neighborhoods around campus like vinca, slowly choking out affordable non-squalor and everything unique.

    'Political Division' SelectShow
  14. Penny wise and pound foolishness My institution has more money than sense, and sometimes they make my life unnecessarily difficult because pinching pennies.

    Having an asshole for a boss
    My boss is an asshole

    inept colleagues
    I'm tired of working with jerks who always have their palms open, game the system, and complain that they're overworked. We work 35 hours a week in the French quarter. Don't you know how fucking lucky you are?!?!?! Just. Do. Your. Job.

    Depression and anxiety
    Fuck these two feelings and the horse they rode in on.

    Politics
    Donald Trump is an idiot.

    Splitting up the family
    It's going to be good in the long run, but it's certainly not good for today.

    the new normal
    This phrase and all the other double speak currently being used to manipulate people into believing that this is the way things should be.

  15. Incompetent staff. It's bad enough being The Man. Having to try to manage bad staff without having filled the first-line supervisor position who should be doing that task is super fun. Bright side: I've gotten rid of all but one of the really bad ones.
    Incompetent gubmint bureaucracies that sort of overlap with mine but actually have all of the enforcement authority. Getting peed on by stakeholders and others for stuff that's not actually my entity's job is awesome.
    Getting sick during the holidays. I sure hope amoxicillin does the trick. Last year at this time was miserable on multiple levels. I have no desire to repeat one of them.
    Being the spouse of one of the two "responsible" kids. It's tiresome to see your spouse get taken for granted year after year because certain other siblings are narcissistic and manipulative. That may be a bit over the top. But not much.
    Normalizing ugly opinions and behaviors. That's as far as I'm going toward the FZ today.

  16. New grievance: last time I talked nba with my brother, he was a Rubi-liever. In this post fact world, he's become a Rubi-hater.

      1. Both teams were terrible in the last couple minutes. But the Woofs were just a little worse. Rubio was a liability on offense, they took bad shots and had poor ball movement.

        1. Up until those last few minutes, Rubio looked really, really good on offense. Sure he missed some shots at the end, but the looked to be like good looks at least. Of course, everyone else was missing shots then as well.

          And, ugh, Wiggins. I've been frustrated by him all year from recaps and box scores. Then whenever I get a chance to watch, I see exactly what the box scores have shown. High volume of bad shots, bad passes when he is willing to even try one, no rebounding. Everytime he pump faked a guy at the three point line only to move in five feet instead of laterally to an open three only to brick a bad long two, I'm pretty sure a kitten died.

          I never thought I'd say this, but I would really rather the Wolves either trade him or give him the four year extension so they can give the five year to Towns and Lavine.

          Boogie sure is fun to watch, though.

          1. WTF was with that godawful pick and roll pass from Lavine to Towns in the last minute? Even if it hadn't been intercepted, out was going to hit Towns in the shins.

  17. College Athletics - ugh!
    Nasty Politics - ugh! ugh!
    Winter - I don't ski, snowmobile, or hang out on frozen water to fish. April can't get here quick enough.
    Barrerio - Us locals are all a bunch of bobos who mindlessly cheer for the wrong players. His takes on Koivu are so off. His hockey knowledge (or lack thereof) should prescribe a hockey talk ban by KFAN on his show. Go back to Chicago you stiff!
    Common Man - Can't spew one single complete sentence. Knows absolutely nothing about any sport other than maybe golf. We have a sports station with content filled with talking heads I can't listen too. Sucks!
    Football Gods - Why can't we have nice things in Minnesota?? Why do you favor the mortals across our state lines? Why do you cater to the devil in Dallas, TX?
    Local Department Store - On December 23rd, you choose to NOT have enough people to check out shoppers on a timely basis. It's December 23rd you idiots!
    NHL writers - Read an article this morning stating the Wild must trade for more scoring, as we only have 2 players with over 10 goals scored so far this year. Well, we are 2nd in the Western Conference in scoring, so do we really have a scoring problem?

    1. It's a proven fact that listening to "The Common Man" makes you dumber. Scientists have actually measured a significant decrease in brain cells in those listening. The affliction is particularly strong when Common talks baseball.

      1. I haven't listen to Comman Man is about 7 or 8 years. Over the summer, I was at the mechanic waiting for some tires and they had KFAN on the shop radio. Common's bit hasn't changed since I stopped listening.

    2. Read an article this morning stating the Wild must trade for more scoring

      Particularly odd timing, considering they scored 7 goals last night to bring the winning steak to nine.

      Maybe they're just worried about what will happen if Dubnyk gets injured?

  18. Absolutely no Festivus slacking from you all. What an outstanding list of grievances - well done!

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