All posts by freealonzo

The Replacements — Bastards of Young

This performance got them banned from SNL for 30 years.  I don't get it.  Sure, there's the f word off mic, but other than that this performance is incender... incendiary (Spooky get's the reference).  They should put this video in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.  (sorry may have to watch an ad, this can't be found on youtube).

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Diary of a 50 Year Old Widower

The cards and photos have long been lovingly put into a nice box and stored away.  The calls asking “so how you doing” have slowed to a trickle too.  Most of Elaine’s clothes have been brought over to Goodwill and I have started to move some of my stuff into her old dresser drawers.  The medical insurance has all been figured out and I haven’t seen a doctor’s bill or EOB in many weeks.  It’s been six months since I’ve become a widower and as time moves onward, the rhythm of a new life is starting to emerge.

Continue reading Diary of a 50 Year Old Widower

Keeping Track — The Hill

I wrote the following 6 years ago today.  I thought about it yesterday as I rode up that same hill with no problems.  It's been 6 years since I originally lost 40 pounds and have basically kept that weight off.  In fact, over the last couple months I have recommitted my self and have lost additional weight so that I am nearly 50 pound less than my early 2008 nadir.

 

Near Fort Snelling there is a very steep hill that connects a bike trail to the Mendota Bridge. The hill has a good 30+ degree slant and is long. For us flatlanders in the Midwest, it’s a pretty nasty hill for bike riders, the steepest I know of along the river. Early this summer I tried to ride up the hill but had to get off about mid-way and walk. I vowed that by the end of the summer I would be able to ride my bike all the way up that hill.

If life was a Hollywood movie, what would be seen next is a montage (with a kick-ass rock song on the sound track) of me exercising, training on other hills, working that hill and getting closer and closer to the top before I had to get off. But life isn’t a Hollywood movie with rockin’ montages. I did remember my vow and when I was riding my bike this summer I would attack any hill I came across a little harder. I hadn’t, however, been back to the Fort Snelling trail.

This being Minnesota, the bike riding season is fast coming to an end and my vow was weighing on me. Thankfully Saturday was a beautiful day and I had some time. I was going to see if I could make it up that hill. It might be my last time I had this season.

Coming up to the hill I was pretty confident, I noticed that other hills that had given me trouble earlier in the year were easily ascended but as “The Hill” drew nearer, my mind was clouded with doubts. First among them is that the hill trail is perpendicular to the river trail, meaning I wouldn’t have a running start. But more worrisome was what if I failed? What would that do to my confidence? Would that mean the hundreds of miles I put on my bike this summer would be for naught? I approached the hill with trepidation and had further worries when I came to the hill and, due to the nice weather, found it full of other walkers and bikers – I would have to weave my way around them.

Life throws hills at us all the time. Relationships, work, finances, old houses and cars, etc., seem to constantly present some sort of obstacle that we need to overcome. Just dealing with those day-to-day obstacles can be physically and mentally tough, sometimes overwhelmingly so. But I think it’s also important challenge ourselves with hills of our own making. It doesn’t matter what it is, it can be improvements in your personal relationships, it can be that you’re finally going to learn how to play guitar, it can be stop smoking or lose weight. The important thing is to set a realistic goal and accomplish it. Just by doing that you can gain more confidence to address all those other problems that life throws at you.

So yes I made it up the hill. In fact about a third of the way up I knew I was going to make it. It was a lung buster and wasn’t easy but I made true my June vow. Even more satisfying than making it up the hill was the fact that I passed two guys probably 20 years younger than me walking their bikes. Will making it up that hill change my life? Probably not, but who knows maybe it will a little bit, and if I can make little changes for the better, maybe they will add up to bigger changes over time. Know what my next goal is? To stay in shape over the winter so that on the first nice weekend in April when I bring my bike out for the first time, I attack that hill and once again make it up without stopping.

How about you, any hills you’re trying to conquer?

Confessions of a 50 Year Old Widower

It’s been over two weeks and the flowers are wilted and going into composting, the extra food has either been eaten or been given away, and the sympathy cards have slowed to a trickle.  It’s starting to feel that a new normal is settling in.  After nearly 24 years of marriage and 26 years of being in one relationship I have found myself widowed and entirely in a new life situation.  I thought it might be interesting to share my experiences with this group – as it might be therapeutic for me but also to spark up some interesting dialogue and perhaps cause some internal thinking on your part.  I hope you indulge me and I promise this will be the occasional posting and not a vehicle to go all “woe is me” on everyone.  So with that preamble… Continue reading Confessions of a 50 Year Old Widower

FMD — It was 20 years ago today

Freealonzo taking over FMD this week…

This year reminded me that we are hitting the 20-year anniversary of a lot of very good and influential albums.  In a way it makes sense, Nirvana’s Nevermind went huge in 1992 and the result was that a lot of “alternative” bands were “discovered” and promoted by the major labels and music consumers were more open to explore the music environment.  I think 1994 was the baby boom generated by the phenomena that was Nevemind.    In fact I would argue that 1994 was one of the greatest years ever for popular music.  Do you agree?  What about 1984? Or 1968?  1971?  Those years can make a case for best ever as well.

After the break see the list of influential (imho) albums released in 1994 and let us know what year you think was the “greatest ever.”  Best thing is there is no wrong answer (listing does not mean endorsement, athough I would swear by most of these albums).  Oh and don't forget to drop your lists.

Continue reading FMD — It was 20 years ago today