Game 99: Twins in Only Mustard Town

It could be worse
It could be worse.

Blackburn versus Peavy

Lineups:

Twins

  1. SPANTATIC
  2. Silver Smith
  3. Chairman
  4. THOR
  5. The Mountie
  6. Zac Brown
  7. Dozier's tough I'm going with Helmet Hair or Billy Ray Cyrus
  8. Laddie
  9. Old Balls

Pale Hose

  1. Bad Person
  2. Awful Friend
  3. Person you don't want to see at IHOP
  4. Pauli Pocket
  5. Someone else
  6. That dude who annoys you from across the room
  7. He chews on your pen when he borrows it
  8. Cuba
  9. Boo

Go Twins!

98 thoughts on “Game 99: Twins in Only Mustard Town”

  1. After watching span take all three outs this inning i wonder what the record for consecutive put outs is by one player?

  2. Ooh, a one-run lead with Blackie on the mound? I can't believe he made it through one inning without giving the Sox some runs back.

  3. I know today's Cub Foods Hot Streak player! As such, my only real hope for the game today is for Mauer to get a hit.

  4. Provus says "strike three called, Casilla thought that was ball four."
    I immediately think "Angel Hernandez must be working home plate today."

    Of course he is.

  5. I f-ing hate Nick Blackburn.

    They should literally just leave him in Chicago. Just don't bring him back to Minneapolis. Let him figure it out from there. Just leave him.

    1. I have no feelings towards him whatsoever. Numbness is better than having to hate him for however much longer the Twins will keep trotting him out there for batting practice.

  6. I haven't made any predictions in a while. I predict that Dozier will jack a large donger today!

  7. Well, Aaron Hicks is 5-5 today in New Britain with two doubles and a homer. At least the Twins have that going for them.

  8. I get to watch the Twins at home on my lunch break for the first time ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11!1! Living two blocks from the store does come in handy.

    I would have preferred Twins hits to Beckham hits, but meh, it's still baseball on my break.

  9. There are lots of things a big league ballplayer needs to be able to do that I can't do, but I can almost always count to three correctly.

            1. In related news, Eri Yoshida is having her best year as a pro this year.

              She's 3-3 in 6 starts with a 5.10 ERA. 1.8 k/9, 4.2 BB/9 (both career bests).

  10. I'm pretty sure I just heard Dazzle call the pitch that Doumit struck out on a "doo doo ball." I'm fairly certain that's every pitch Blac_burn throws.

  11. One factor Dazzle and Cory didn't mention that helped Peavy get out of the inning is that the bottom of the Twins order stinks.

  12. Have you guys ever noticed that the Twins are terrible and I hate them and they have stupid ugly faces?

  13. Dazzle, the way things are going, I really don't think Blackburn's pitch count is likely to matter.

    1. They should leave him out there for 400 pitches if it means we don't have to watch him pitch any more this season.

  14. Blackburn stinking in the game tonight
    Take your broken arm and learn to pitch
    All your life
    We are only waiting for the moment to say goodbye

  15. Nick Blackburn has a 5.54 ERA in 382 innings since 2010, during which time opponents have hit .310 with a .500 slugging percentage.— Aaron Gleeman (@AaronGleeman) July 25, 2012

    That's even worse than I imagined.

    1. If you want to see worse, just look at his 2012 numbers. Even really horrible teams don't keep guys with these stats around long.

  16. Blackburn's OBA is .327. That means everyone is pretty much Joe Mauer against Blackburn.

        1. That makes a lot more sense. And actually, it would be a slight improvement if he turned everyone into Joe Mauer.

  17. Does this concussion blabber by dick and cool dog hold any water? I'm inclined to guess not, but I'm not an expert.

  18. North Korea's national anthem is really boring...yeah I'm watching women's Olympics soccer North Korea vs. Colombia instead of the Twins.

    1. London Olympics screw-up of the day: A South Korean flag was displayed on the jumbotron as a backdrop for the North Korean roster, causing the game to be delayed after the North Korean team stormed off back to the clubhouse for 45 minutes.

  19. I hope this isn't the day we finally get that eight-run inning, because it probably wouldn't be enough.

  20. I believe that rather than listen to Dazzle talk about "team chemistry", I'm going to give up on this game and find something else to do. I'm sure I'll regret that when the Twins come back and win, but oh well.

  21. get home from work and see this 8-2 score 🙁 I hate when the Twins lose to the Pale Hosers

  22. Oh I see Burton and Perkins were available today. Good thing Gardy didn't burn them up putting out the fires started by the terrible relievers last night.

  23. Boy, next year when they look for any highlights from this season to use during their radio bumpers, it'll have to include plays like where the Twins batter grounds out but avoids a DP.

  24. After getting swept by the White Sox, there's nowhere to go but up. We'll just have to settle for 104-58!

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