All posts by meat

On being better, not great

I've struggled with weight my entire life. When folks were bing nice they called me husky, when not being nice they called me lots of other things. Later in life I became big man. (Seriously, everyone who wants my attention on the street calls me big man (an aside, there is this bellman who works at a hotel between two of my museum's buildings. I see him all the time. A couple years ago his house burned down. Tragic. Right before thanksgiving. I passed him some cash as I've been there and it's a terrible place to be. We chatted about the kind of crushing loss that comes from losing all your shit and how you're glad to be alive but all your time is consumed with figuring out how to get the basics of life covered. Anyway, months later he asks if I know any furniture restorers - I do. I give him the names of a couple guys. A couple months later he calls the museum and is transferred to my desk because he's forgotten the names I gave him. He say, hey, do you work the a heavy set fella? I say, that would be me. He says oh, not heavy set, healthy guy. big man...................))

I've counted carbs, watched weight, drank less, ate only white foods, had a can of green beans a day, didn't orange Julius but might have if I was a bit older, and lost hope along the way. I've exercised, biked to work, strength trained and beat myself on the cardio machines. I work a pretty active job, but now that I'm management I spend a lot more time at my desk.

Enter a bad trip to the doctor. I generally do not shy away from knowledge, though being diagnosed as diabetic kinda crushed me. Moral failure. (I know, I know, not really but that's the thought process). Enter a deepening depression already deep enough with the state of the world. I fired my PCP for a variety of reasons but high up on the list was the way they delivered the news - phone call and an email telling me to pick up a prescription. No follow up. No information. No referral. Just take these pills for the rest of your life, you're fine.

New PCP is a great doctor. Very communicative and very interested in long term enjoyment of life. Says, hey, let's work on some of this. Try to lose some weight. Take it seriously. I do and I did. Problem is that that I just don't lose the weight. Doc says my A1c is climbing a bit despite my efforts at diet and exercise. Says, look, there are these new classes of drugs on the market. Lots of concern tho, no long term understanding regarding  life time drugs or if lifestyle change means you can taper off them in a year and maintain health gains. We weighed the risks and rewards and I chose to jab myself every week (though I've already been injecting shit to kill the hives* so what's another couple jabs a month)

The crazy part is that almost instantly everything changed. I guess I had no idea how much time I spent dealing with or thinking about food. I love to cook. Cooking is an expression of both love and creativity. That isn't what I'm talking about when I say that I didn't know how much of my life was dominated by food thought. Almost impossible to describe.

The weight fell off of me at first. My best friend in NOLA left in June. We kinda had a nawlins** bender before he left which I'm sure didn't help my overall health picture. I started the course of drugs in July and when I saw my man at the MN state fair on Labor Day I was down ~20 pounds. He was shocked. I was shocked. I am shocked.

In the 4.5 months since I started taking a drug designed to control blood sugar (and taken by lots of folks who want to lose the extra 20 pounds) I've lost a considerable amount of weight, but I've also changed almost every aspect of my life. I still drink too much, if I'm honest, but I've been far more active, I eat considerably more healthy than I did prior, and my a1c is low enough to be considered elevated but not diabetic - though I'll carry that diagnosis for the rest of my life.

Lots of stuff to unpack. I have many mixed feelings about the drug. On one hand it's effing amazing in the ability to control sugar and food noise, on the other have I failed so hard I need to be on a drug to bring me back from the edge????!? (also, I don't engage with fast food or 'ultra' processed foods that often, but I am certain that the food scientists addicted millions to their products and now Lilly is here to provide a cure in the form of another addiction) I get that some folks see these drugs as cheating. I didn't engage with this for vanity. The visible change, tho, is what drives people to ask what/how/are you? and say things like you look great (thanks, but that implies I also looked like shit previously...) All to say that when you're big man people have opinions and do not hesitate to share them.

I'm continuing to shrink a bit. I've been lifting again to maintain muscle. Thinking about going to a strength trainer. My life is largely the same but very different. Colleagues and strangers all treat me differently now that I'm not big man anymore. Strange to wander around as a different human in the same skin.

*thanks covid

**no one says this

Gumbo z’herbes changed my life…..

Okay, not really, but! But! this dish proves that kale isn't a joke being played on us by the hip kids. (As you may may have guessed, I'm a kale skeptic, but this was super delish) I adapted this recipe from here.

You'll need - ->

  • 3tablespoons vegetable oil
  • one link of smoked cajun sausage diced - or some tasso
  • 1yellow onion, diced
  • 2shallots, minced
  • 2garlic cloves, minced
  • 1jalapeño, seeded and finely chopped
  • couple dashes Worcester sauce
  • a dash or two of your favorite cajun seasoning blend -Cajun Two Step, Tony C's are great but dial down additional salt,  Donnies spice mix is also great
  • 8ounces fresh spinach
  • 1bunch fresh curly kale, large stems removed
  • 2cups vegetable stock, fish stock or clam juice
  • 1(14-ounce) can coconut milk - I used light instead
  • 1pound fresh or frozen okra, trimmed and cut into ¼-inch pieces
  • 3medium Yukon Gold or other yellow potatoes, diced
  • 1tablespoon filé powder
  • 1tablespoon chopped fresh thyme leaves
  • 1pound head-on prawns or shrimp, peeled and deveined - I used Louisiana brown gulf shrimp  and I highly recommend that you do as well or at least try to find domestic shrimp to avoid engaging in slave labor practices rife in international shrimping.........
  • ½pound lump crab meat (preferably Dungeness crab) -blue swimming crab meat is a-okay here
  • Salt and freshly ground pepper
  • Cooked white rice, for serving
  • Lemon wedges, for serving
  • Crystal hot sauce for serving

Method - ->

slice and dice the onion, shallot, garlic, and jalapeño (seed and devein if you're worried about heat). Chop up the sausage into tiny bits. Heat a bit of oil in a dutch oven or deep soup pot. Brown the sausage and remove from the pan, add the onion, shallot, jalapeño, garlic, dash of Worcester, pinch of salt, black pepper, and cajun seasoning (The spice level is a dealer's choice thing, you do you). Add a bit more oil and sauté until veg is translucent and soft. Add the kale, spinach, 1 1/2 cup water, 2 cups stock, and one can of light coconut milk (you can use the unleaded type here and the end product will be .... extra) and wilt the greens (5-10 minutes over medium heat). Remove the greens to a blender (or use your immersion blender) and add a cup (or more) of the pot liquor and blend the greens until smooth. I used a vitamix to really, truly ensure that I wouldn't encounter a single, recognizable piece of kale when finally consuming this dish.......Return the puree to the pot, stir to combine, add potato dice and simmer until the potato is tender - about 10 minutes or so. Add the shrimp and continue to simmer until the shrimp are cooked through. Add tiger file and thyme,  and rinse the crab meat, remove the pot from the heat, add the crab meat and ring the dinner bell. Adjust for salt, serve over rice with lemon. Kale, not all bad. I still skipped the okra. Okra is still gross.

Everything bagel bread

Topping

Bread

  1. For the topping: Combine all ingredients in bowl; set aside.  - or just buy everything but the bagel from Trader Joes.....
2. For the bread: Spray 8½ by 4½-inch loaf pan with oil spray. Whisk flour and yeast together in bowl of stand mixer. Fit mixer with dough hook. Add 1¼ cups (10 ounces) water and 2 tablespoons corn syrup. Mix on medium-low speed until dough comes together and no dry flour remains, about 2 minutes. Turn off mixer, cover bowl with dish towel or plastic wrap, and let dough stand for 10 minutes.
3. Add salt to dough and knead on medium speed until dough is smooth and elastic, about 10 minutes. Turn out dough onto clean counter and form into ball by pinching and pulling dough edges under so top is smooth. Flip dough smooth side down.
4. Pat dough into 6-inch square and position parallel to edge of counter. Fold top edge of dough down to midline, pressing to seal. Fold bottom edge of dough up to meet first seam at midline and press to seal. Fold dough in half so top and bottom edges meet; pinch together to seal. Flip dough seam side down and roll into 8-inch log.
5. Transfer to prepared pan, seam side down. Spray top of dough lightly with oil spray, then cover loosely with plastic. Let sit in warm place until dough rises to lip of pan, about 1 hour.
6. Adjust oven rack to middle position and heat oven to 350 degrees. Line large plate with clean dish towel. Bring 2 quarts water to boil in Dutch oven. Once boiling, add baking soda and remaining 2 tablespoons corn syrup.
7. Gently tip dough out of pan onto counter. Lift dough, gently lower into boiling water, and cook for 45 seconds per side. Using spider skimmer or 2 slotted spoons, transfer dough to prepared plate. Fold dish towel over dough gently to wick away excess moisture on top. Let sit until cool enough to handle, about 2 minutes.
8. Respray now-empty pan with oil spray. Add 2 tablespoons topping to pan and shake until bottom and sides of pan are evenly coated. Transfer dough to prepared pan, seam side down, pushing it in at edges to fit if necessary.
9. Using paring knife, make six ¼-inch-deep slashes crosswise along surface of dough, about 1 inch apart. Brush dough with egg, then sprinkle with remaining 4 teaspoons topping. Bake until golden brown and loaf registers at least 200 degrees, about 45 minutes. Let bread cool completely in pan, about 2 hours. Remove from pan, slice, and serve, toasted if desired.
I got this recipe from ATK / Cooks Illustrated. The first time I made this the dough was almost soupy because I didn't really do a great job measuring, and we didn't have a kitchen scale...... The dough was ugly as sin, and flopped all around, and then baked up to perfection. Crazy.
This time the kitchen scale was used and we nailed the correct amount of flour to water and the dough came together exactly as described. We lined the loaf pan with a bit of cheese cloth to help lift the loaf and deposit it into the boiling water.  Worked like a charm. However, I did manage to mangle the shit out of the dough when trying to get it back out of the water. I'll work on a better method next time. Currently in the oven. I'll let you know how it turned out.