Tag Archives: In-Depth Analysis

2012 Game 46: Tigers @ Twins

Okay. This team stinks, but last week, I posted the game plan for victory - and they followed it to victory. The best part? Absolutely nothing has changed. Sure, Max Scherzer might strike out 30 more per nine innings than Carl Pavano (I think I actually saw Carl Pavano summon the ghosts of baseball players past so he could un-strike them out, lowering his k/9 to something like -4... dark magic, that), but he has no facial hair whatsoever.

Meanwhile, Morneau has parlayed his smooth Canadian charm into in actual war on the opposing pitcher - I wouldn't be surprised if he hit seven home runs today in four at bats.

Mauer's a pussy, but he'll probably whine his way on base two or three times this afternoon. A.J. would advance the runners with a leadership scowl, but walking's cool, too, I guess.

We're actually playing at Target Field today, so expect the Tigers to ground out weakly in shame when they think of where they have to play their games.

This is in the bag, people. Can we just skip to tomorrow so that we can catch a nailbiter?

My prediction: Twins 14, Tigers 8.

Game 40: Twins @ Brewers

Well, hey. It looks like we've got ourselves a little winning streak here. Let's do some in-depth analysis and see how the odds look for extending it.

PITCHERS
Carl Pavano (2-3, 4.38 FIP, 4.28 xFIP, 0 k/9)
Yovani Gallardo (2-4, 3.89 FIP, 3.96 xFIP, made up name)

Edge: Initially, it would seem that the Brewers have the edge here, but even though Pavano seems to have taken a sacred vow to never strike anyone out ever, I'm going to go with the Twins here. Unless you're Randy Johnson, pitching is 90% luck, 10% facial hair, and Pavano's rebounded nicely after a tough 2011.

HITTERS
I'd be a fool to bet against a lineup that prominently features a catcher sporting a .350/.381/.450 slash line. Twins, it is.

BALLPARK
Miller Park can't possibly hope to match Target Field, so even though they're not playing at Target Field today, I'm giving the advantage to the Twins.

INTANGIBLES
Morneau's radiant good cheer (that is how he won that MVP in 2006, right?) is worth a hundred of whatever the Brewers might have in this department (beer, maybe? brats? Ryan Braun's contaminated urine?)

Adding all of that up (4-0), I'd say it's pretty much a sure thing. The Twins are going to sweep this series!*

* yes, I might be getting ahead of myself here, but with literally every indicator saying that they'll win this game, why wouldn't they win the next one, too?