This week's fungo comes to you via sean's link in the CoC:
Another year, another piece about Twins hitters complaining about Target Field's dimensions. Fine, guys, we get the point: you don't like the challenge of scoring runs in a ballpark which might actually allow you to field a competitive team. Mr. Pohlad, tear down this ballpark!
In its place, the Citizens of the WGOM will build you a new ballpark in which you can play a child's game for boo-coo bucks. The only hitch is, we get to pick a ballpark from baseball's past - whether it's a defunct major league park, a current or former minor league park, or a park from the Japanese league, it doesn't matter - and that will be your new home ballpark. We will magically insert it into the warehouse district (and magically make the Multifoods Tower/33 South Sixth invisible). After that, it's up to you and the front office to figure out how to win there (for the sake of things, we'll assume the Twins can figure out how leverage their "new" home to make enough money to win in an old ballpark like Fenway or Wrigley).
Gentlemen, your nominations, please.
Polo Grounds.
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I would so love to see some games at a park with the dimensions of the Polo Grounds. Maybe not as a home stadium, but it would be an awesome spring training gimmick, for instance. Come to think of it, if the Twins' hitters are going to whine so much about Target Field's fences, management should move the fences back for spring training to give them an idea of how much worse it could be.
Or, if Mauer and Morneau would like some extra home runs, they could always play at Lake Front Park. Pitchers might not be too crazy about it, though.
Yeah, that's probably closer to what these guys had in mind.
The RF fence wasn't quite 200 feet from the plate. Even Mauer could probably turn into a pull hitter for that kind of park.
No man muscles required!
Evil Joe Mauer would break the career home run record in one season.
Speaking of 33 South Sixth... I think they should put an permanent art installation in there. A former roommate of mine even drew up some plans at some point for some cool looking effects they could throw over the facade. My favorite idea was a waterfall.
I'm fine with the current digs. Just rename it LOL Field and we're in like Flint.
The Metrodome, obvs.
Maybe we could build it like Enron Field, that way Ben Revere could play 275 feet from the plate in left field.
I'd build the same park again.
In that case, Revere might have a chance at making some assists on plays at the plate.
This is tough. It would take some searching to find one that fits, but I'm a fan of old-timey parks with sparse foul territory and cavernous outfields. The decreased foul territory means closer to the action with fewer foul outs, but more strikeouts. Plus more triples, fewer home runs, and more actual, non-misplayed inside-the-park home runs.
Griffith Stadium? It was 402-408 feet down the left field line until 1954, when they cut it to "just" 388 feet. Revere would keep busy, but you might need a rover as the first cutoff man. It was 320 feet to right, but with a 30-foot wall.
The Douche would hate it there.
I considered it, but way too much foul territory: 61 feet behind home plate! I also prefer lower fences. 30 feet, or even 11 in left field, is a bit high, though I can accept it when dealing with things in the way such as roads and other buildings. I wish there were more pictures, especially aerial ones, to get a better feel for what it looked like.
A few years back, the Twins' calendar schedule was "Twins Territory" with 12 different minor-league and amateur fields from across MN featured. There was an interesting one in Alexandria... Google maps tells me it's Goose Park, on Lake Winona.