33 thoughts on “Game 33: Oh. Hi there.”

    1. Yup. I was driving during the back-to-back homers, and Dazzle's will to live has been beaten out of him.

  1. On the bright side, I'm not nearly as bummed out about being blocks from Target Field while being stuck at work because of conference calls as I was at the start of the year.

      1. I don't know if Hughes has a mechanical problem, a physical problem, or if he's just not very good any more. But right now, I don't see what he's doing that Alex Meyer couldn't do.

        1. I hit the upper-70s on a speed gun in high school. I'll trot out there for the league minimum.

          Quick question - can I wear a hockey cage out on the mound, because comebackers terrify me.

  2. So, since we're going to stink anyway, maybe we should go for the all-time record!

    The worst record ever is the 1899 Cleveland Spiders, who went 20-134 for a .130 winning percentage. In a 162-game season, that would be 21-141. We'd have to go 13-117 the rest of the way to do that.

    The worst record in the modern era is the 1916 Philadelphia Athletics, who went 36-117 for a .235 winning percentage. In a 162-game season, that would be 38-124. We'd have to go 30-100 the rest of the way to do that.

    The worst record since the 162-game schedule took effect is the 1962 New York Mets, who went 40-120 for a .250 winning percentage. That's the winning percentage the Twins have going into today. Assuming we don't lose two games to rainouts, the way those Mets did, we'd have to go 32-98 the rest of the way to do that.

    Let's go for it, Twins! You can do it!

    1. In all seriousness, though, I really hope it doesn't come to that. We make jokes because it helps us get through it, but it's no fun to root for a terrible team. I'm sure it's no fun to play on one or to manage one, either. Maybe we can make a big comeback and get back into this game yet!

  3. Well, at least we don't have to rely on Jepsen to come in and lose the game.

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