74 thoughts on “July 23, 2021: Foxtrot Zulu”

          1. You have something against big cat names? I like all of those except the Jazz.

            Also, a friend reminded me that the Wizards exist, so Guardians is the third worst team name in sports. Easily the worst in baseball.

            1. Big cat names are incredibly generic, and almost never location specific. Gaurdians comes close to the same, but, as observed, there is some local tie-in at least. It's not a strong name, but it's not generic cat name bad.

              Yes, Wizards is also awful.

                    1. Considering the ability of third base coaches to determine whether a runner will score, giving them power over releasing players seems like a mistake.

          2. How do you feel about Lynx?

            I think expansion or transplanted names that are nonsensical in their new context are worse than names after various wild beasts, particularly for old teams that came into existence before their home city developed its national reputation. (See: Detroit Pistons vs. Tigers, & Lions, & Cougars Red Wings.)

            Missed Opportunities that are Offensively Generic
            Arizona Cardinals
            Atlanta Falcons
            Atlanta Hawks
            Dallas Wings
            Indianapolis Colts
            Los Angeles Rams
            Los Angeles Sparks
            Memphis Grizzlies
            Oakland Athletics
            San Francisco Giants
            Washington Nationals

            What now? Why?
            Chicago Sky (Sky is unique to Chicago?)
            Cleveland Guardians
            Dallas Stars (Texas’ “Lone Star” is singular, no?)
            Indiana Fever
            Los Angeles Clippers
            Los Angeles Dodgers
            Nashville Predators (how does the first pro team in Nashville screw up the obvious names)
            Toronto Raptors (at least it dates the team to the 1990s)
            Vegas Golden Knights

            Pure Nonsense
            Golden State Warriors
            Los Angeles Lakers
            Minnesota Wild (h/t davidwatts for catching this obvious oversight)
            New York Red Bulls
            Real Salt Lake
            Utah Jazz
            Washington Mystics
            Washington Wizards (better than “Bullets,” given the home city)

                  1. Wild is a broader concept, actually related to the fact that MN genuinely has a lot of natural, wild, beauty.

                    Specific animals that aren't especially unique to the state lacks that same depth.

                    What are the problems peoe have with Wild? (If the Jazz were in New Orleans, that would be roughly equivalent and an excellent name, right? Absurd in Utah, but otherwise solid).

                    1. If there is a single word to describe the ethos of the scandihoovian population base of Minnesota, it's definitely "wild." Dontchaknow.

                    2. Oooh. the Minnesota Nice!!!

                      All the available bucks to Rhu.

                      Logo would be, what, a Minny-and-Paul-like Sven and Ollie? A grandma looking disapprovingly?

                    3. I think there are two problems with Wild — one related to the word itself, and the other the options of demonstrably better, Minnesota-specific names.

                      “Wild” is an adjective first, an adverb second, and only then a noun. The noun is both inanimate & abstract, the equivalent of naming a team the “Land,” “Sea,” or “Outer Space” instead of a definitive feature of one of those bodies. It breaks the language.

                      If that wasn’t enough, there are a number of more Minnesotan names to chose from:

                      - “Voyageurs” would have been an easy fit at the time of expansion. These days, I wonder if the colonialist/imperialist associations might be too strong for it to be a viable choice. When a team represents a whole state, it’s hard to find one human avatar for the region. (“Vikings” is an awesome name, but not certainly representative of all Minnesotans.)
                      - “Loons” was certainly an option that was available, appropriate, and viable.
                      - “Walleyes” sounds weird, but…
                      - “Northerns” would have been great — unique, yet evocative of the earlier team.
                      - “Muskies” has a Minnesota sports precedent (and a connection to the North Stars), they’re native to the state, they’re fearsome & strong, and there aren’t enough teams named after aquatic animals.
                      - “Moose” was another option with similar advantages, including a hockey precedent.

                      I’m not a fan of uncountable plurals as team names, but “Blizzard” or “Frost” would be cromulent for a team playing sport on ice in Minnesota. (“Glaciers” are probably too slow for a sport like hockey.) “Iron Rangers” would have been perfect, if not for that team in New York. It’s too bad Polaris is in Ursa Minor; “Little Bears” or “Little Dippers” is probably too silly for a major league team, even if it maintains the North Star connection.

                      Ultimately, “North Stars” was just about perfect — emblematic of the state, not offensive to any person or group, and an excellent sobriquet for a team packed with talent. In a similar way, “Lakers” was perfect for Minneapolis in the same way — directly tied to the motto, the landscape, and not offensive to anyone. That’s part of what makes losing those franchises elsewhere so unfortunate.

                    4. What y'all are knocking on the Wild, are things I love about the name. What's wrong with an abstract name? I actually love the fact that it's not just some reductive animal or generic local reference. It's creative, and that's fun. What's more, saying the Wild is like "the Land" or "the Outer Space" just isn't accurate - "The Wild" is exciting in a way those other things aren't.

                      I like some of the alternate names just fine, but the creativity of the Wild is just awesome. To DW's point - "what is a Wild" - the very point is that it isn't "a" Wild. It's not just a thing. It's an idea. It's so much cooler than a thing. High concept, locally applicable, exciting reference ideal for sports.

                      Plus, I love the wilderness scene built into the logo. That's just cool.

                    5. The Northwoods scene in the logo’s interior is pretty cool. But the animal depicted seems to be some kind of angry beaver or perturbed muskrat…

                      I’d have preferred the same elements combined into the shape of Minnesota — unifying the wilderness theme with a graphical depiction of the State of Hockey.

                    6. Speaking of the state of hockey, I was reading a list of supposed most notable olympic athlete from each state, and was upset that it wasn't one of several from The Miracle team

            1. "Warriors" belongs in the "offensively generic" category if anywhere. I mean, it originated in Philly with an ABL team in the 1920s, and then the BAA team in the 1940s that joined the NBA, eventually moving to the Bay Area. I don't see what makes that any more "pure nonsense" than the other names in the generic category.

              "Lakers" on the other hand had a strong connection with the original franchise location. The "pure nonsense" critique is much more apt.

              1. I guess I could see moving “Warriors” to “What now? Why?,” rather than “Pure Nonsense.” My thinking was that once a team assumes a place name that represents not just a municipality, but a state, its avatar name (I have no idea what to call the second part — it’s not the nickname) needs to reflect that. California is at no loss for compelling names, so to continue to rely on one imported from Philadelphia seems silly. I know they’re still the Bay Area’s NBA team, primarily, but their place name is more aspirational than that. If they were still the San Francisco Warriors or adopted Oakland as their regional name, I’d have been more inclined to label it “Offensively Generic.”

                The California Angels would be a further test of that principle, if they still existed. I think that team desperately needs to carve out an Orange County identity, rather than Anaheim or LAAoA (or Angels in the Outfield of Disneyland, or Edison International Angels…). Would Orange County Angels make sense? I’m not convinced it does, but then again, neither does Anaheim or LAAoA.

                I think the Twins avoid this to a degree, drawing the team name from the state’s capital city and cultural capital that just happen to be next door neighbors & rivals.

    1. Initial reaction. LAME.

      Second reaction, I kinda like it, especially that logo with the G with wings around a baseball. Before today I hadn't heard of the "Guardians of Traffic" on the Hope Memorial Bridge but that tie-in, with the logo changed my mind.

      Third reaction, it isn't like some of sports' historic names would be well received if they were new. So everyone will just get used to it.

      1. I can support this take. I was also wondering if there was some other local flavor there I wasn't in tune with.
        But I did also see that they changed as few letters as possible. InGuardians

      2. I'm in this boat. Is it the best name they could have chosen? (No, that is clearly "Rocks"). But it's a surprise name that isn't awful, and I'm cool with that.

      1. To my eye, it looks like they tried to mesh the current block script with the “Caveman” wordmark of the mid-Seventies. It certainly doesn’t make much of a visual connection to statues on an Art Deco bridge.

    2. Whatever, I guess. I assume they were trying to come up with something that couldn't possibly offend anyone, and so chose as bland a name as they could.

      1. 100%
        The Space Force also recently designated their personnel as "Guardians." So, hokiness all around.
        "Guardians" also seems asymmetrically grandiose as compared to typical moniker. But I suppose there are "Titans" and "Kings" and whatnot out there.

        1. I hope they open an academy so we can have Space Cadets.

          Seriously, though, Space Force is ridiculous. If the Air Force & Navy can’t jointly oversee space security, the job should have been given to the Coast Guard.

  1. So, 3 weeks straight of 90 hour work weeks has me thinking I need to adjust my long term plan at the joint. I just asked for preliminary drawings for a new project behind our new patio. I want to add a couple restrooms outside, as it is a looooog walk to the restrooms inside. Also, I am thinking of adding in a commercial kitchen outside as well. Possibly, a smokehouse in it. Ribs, fish, and all kinds of fun stuff. Main reason for this is to relieve stress in our indoor kitchen. We are getting slammed lunch and dinner every day. We are executing just fine, but to handle the business levels I have 9 cooks on line every night and 6-7 over lunch. Crazy, crazy times.

      1. after yesterday's news about the threat of forfeits and having to pay the other team's expenses, I'm only surprised that an employee would refuse. Because the club cannot take that kind of liability.

    1. I really hope ahead of the next CBA negotiations that MLBPA decides it represents players at all levels of the game, rather than just the few who make it through the gauntlet of minor league exploitation.

  2. Ha ha ha

    ...Christy Longmire of RogerEbert.com saying, "To suggest that Bruce Willis is phoning in his performance in 'Cosmic Sin' would be an insult to telephone communication, which can be an effective means of conveying important information and genuine emotion."

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