Today's cuppa rightfully calls out the ass-battery the local nine have been displaying pretty much since the season opener. We've seen a few flashes of high-octane offense here and there, but that certainly has not been the trend. Miguel Sano is batting for a paltry .091 average, and I'm tired of waiting for him to turn into the David Ortiz we didn't throw away. Today's starting lineup features four players batting below .200, and only one batting above .300, and he doesn't have quite enough at-bats to qualify for the leader boards. So yeah, it's been cold here all spring and the bats are still in hibernation, but they will wake up one of these days. I'm hoping the return of Buxton to the lineup (DH today)  will provide a much-needed offensive spark.

On the mound, young Joe Ryan will take the ball for his third start this year. He's got a split win-loss record with one apiece, sports a 2.70 ERA, 1.10 WHIP and has 11 strikeouts in 10 innings pitched. Not bad for a rookie. I can recall many seasons past when we collectively bemoaned the team's reluctance to rely on young starting pitchers, but this is a different FO and manager. If the Twins are to go anywhere this year, it will be on the arms of a rotation that averages just 28 years old. Here's a tip for the rookie today from an old observer of the game who turned a year older today -- don't throw a single pitch to Salvador Perez, just point to first base. Every. Fucking. Time.

At the other end of the career spectrum today, KC sends to the mound an old, familiar nemesis in Zack Greinke, who at the ripe age of 38 is pitching in his 19th major league season this year. I simply have to tip my cap and applaud a guy who has spent half his life as a major league pitcher. Zack has had no decisions in his first two starts of this campaign but brings an impressive 2.45 ERA and 1.09 WHIP to the hill with him. He's recorded just one K in 11 innings and strikeouts aren't as much of his game as they used to be, but his VSI (veteran savvy index) is off the damn charts.

Play ball!