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Philando

A week and a half ago, I attended a breakfast held in honor of this year’s winners of the Coretta Scott King Book Awards. The honorees all spoke—about books, about art, about children, about being black in America. Author Jason Reynolds gave a spoken word performance that brought the audience to its feet. Here is an excerpt:

if you listen closely
you can hear the machetes
cutting the air
in half
connecting for half a second with something
breathing and growing
breathing and growing
before being chopped
down like sugar cane in a Louisiana field
yes there are machetes everywhere
the sound of them cutting the air

chop CHOP
chop CHOP

we try not
to bend in the wind
try not to bow or bow
try to wrap fingers around our own
saccharine souls
and brace ourselves
for the

chop CHOP
chop CHOP

the machetes
cutting the air in half
coming for us

You can read the full poem here, and you can see it performed in this video, recorded by a person in the audience.

Last night police officers shot and killed a black man. This is nothing new. But these were the police officers from the place I call home. The police officers whose station is an easy walk from my house. Whose station is in the same building where the jalapeno started going to daycare last month. The police officers who wave to my boys when we’re walking home from the park.

While eating breakfast this morning, I told my boys that too many black men are being killed by the police. I told them that last night our police officers shot and killed a black man. The peperoncino, who just turned three, got it. He said, “That’s not okay. The police need to say sorry for killing.”

It’s hard to know how much to say to young kids. It’s hard to talk about racism. But I didn’t have a choice this morning because I needed the jalapeno to know in case things were different today in the building where his daycare is and where the police station is. I wanted him to hear it from me--not from an older kid or a teacher.

Things were pretty quiet this morning, but when I was leaving from dropping off the jalapeno, a protester had arrived. He was a skinny, young white guy holding a large cardboard sign. Handwritten in black marker was FUCK YOUR BADGES. I wasn’t sure what to do, but with the peperoncino in the back seat, I rolled down my window and waved. I said, “Good luck today.” He nodded and said, “Thanks.” While I probably wouldn’t phrase my own sentiments the same way he phrased his, I wanted to say a kind word to him, to let him know that I support him in believing that the killing has got to stop.

I didn’t know Philando Castile, but this morning my heart hurts for him and for all those who loved him.

WGOM SUMMER MIX 2016

Well, here we go folks. Was hoping to get this out by the 21st, but a busy schedule, houseguests, and travel put it on the back burner. That said, I've gone through this a number of times, and I think it's a pretty good mix, y'all. As with last time, "flow" was taken into account (with a tiny bit of theme thrown in), so management recommends you listen in order. Thanks to everyone for your input, and we'll see you back here next year.

01PrinceLet's Go Crazy
02Hop AlongSister Cities
03Khun NarinLong Wat
04Sturgill SimpsonKeep It Between The Lines
05BeruitGibraltar
06David BowieHeroes
07OperatorsControl
08Tom PettyAmerican Girl
09The MonkeesYou Bring The Summer
10Car Seat HeadrestVincent
11Horse LordsTruthers
12Thao & The Get Down Stay DownNobody Dies
13The Explorers ClubSummer Days Summer Nights
14DieselSausalito Summernight
15Girl BandI Love You
16PubertyParties
17Nathaniel Rateliff & The Night SweatsI Need Never Get Old
18Alabama ShakesThe Greatest
19Massive AttackVoodoo In My Blood
20New KingdomAnimal
21Julien BakerEverybody Does
22William TylerSunken Garden
23PrinceIt's Gonna Be A Beautiful Night

Tracks #10 and #20 are a teensy bit NSFW, but it's more the blink and you miss it variety.

If anyone should want the access a folder with all of the songs, just send me an email at my user name (no spaces) [at] this here website's domain.

2 votes, average: 9.50 out of 102 votes, average: 9.50 out of 102 votes, average: 9.50 out of 102 votes, average: 9.50 out of 102 votes, average: 9.50 out of 102 votes, average: 9.50 out of 102 votes, average: 9.50 out of 102 votes, average: 9.50 out of 102 votes, average: 9.50 out of 102 votes, average: 9.50 out of 10 (2 votes, average: 9.50 out of 10)
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She Works Hard For The Money

This post is partially about parenting, partially about work. In this case, they are intertwined.

My wife has always had a pretty good job and has always been pretty career-motivated. We talked a little about having me stay home when we first had kids. In the end, we decided that it wouldn't work for us. I wouldn't like it (or be good at it) and she would have been jealous of my time at home. She ended up going part-time down to a 3-day per week schedule. She worked downtown at the time and would go in early so I'd be the one to get the kids ready for daycare three days per week. We did that while we had two children.

When we had the third, she switched jobs to a small firm that was five miles from our house. It was still 20-24 hours per week but she went to an hourly wage. She could come-and-go without a ton of guilt. When the kids were in daycare, she'd work three full days. Once they were in school, she'd work four 6-hour days.

It was the perfect job for our family. She would go in to work after the kids got on the bus and would get home right before they got home from school.

Now she has decided to stay home full time with a 15, 13, and 10-year old. From the outside, it looks a little insane. She's worked all this time to get to the point that the kids are old enough to be a little more independent and now is the time she's decided to stay home? If you're going to stay home, why not do it when the kids are young? But I think she made the right decision.

A few things factored into the decision. My mom passing away last year at the age of 67, my wife's lingering affects from a concussion suffered last fall, and my daughter's rehab from a broken leg all played a part in it.

We only have three more years of all of them under one roof. Life is short and the clock is ticking.

The Games We Play: PunMan Goes to Geekway

Geekway to the West is a 4-day Board Game Convention held in St. Louis around the middle of May.   This year I got to go for my second time in three years.  I logged in playing 16 amazing games over a three day span (I didn't stay Sunday).  I wanted to give a quick rundown on the games, along with a few good stories.

Thursday:

Forbidden Stars -  Shouldn't have started with this one.  Very complicated.  Ended up stopping early.

XCOM: The Board Game - Neat cooperative game controlled by an app.  Dug this one, would like to play it again.

Medieval Academy - Dull card drafting game where you are trying to be ahead of everyone else on a number of tracks.

Boomtown Bandits - My biggest surprise.  Western Themed game where you are trying to rob different locations.  You roll dice in place of gunfights.

Good Cop, Bad Cop - Fun, quick little hidden role deduction game.

Viticulture - Incredible worker placement game about building a winery.  Love this game.

Commissioned - Cooperative game where you play one of the apostles spreading the gospel throughout the Mediterranean.  Much better than you'd imagine a Bible game to be.

Friday:

Twilight Imperium - Supersized complex 4x game (explore, expand, exploit, exterminate).  We played 6 hours and didn't finish.

Mysterium - Dixit meets Clue.  One player is the ghost trying to give the other players clues as to whodunit.

Euphoria: Build a Better Dystopia - A touch of dark humor surrounds this worker placement game.

Codenames - Party style game where two teams compete to see who can find their agents (with clues given by the spymaster) first.

Spyfall - Party style game where most of the players are trying to find the spy, and the spy's trying to figure out just where he is.

Scythe - Favorite game of the con.  Not yet released.  Another 4x ish game set in alternate universe 1920's Europe.  Incredibly intricate with neat components and interesting mechanics.

Tsuro - Simple game about staying on a path longer than your opponents.

Saturday:

La Granja - A mix of Agricola and Stefen Feld.  You're a farmer looking to create the best farm.  Neatest part is the cards which each have four possible purposes.

Blood Rage - War, confrontational game set in the last days of humanity in Norse Mythology.  Fun albeit imbalanced.

Notes: 

Scythe was the most sought after game of Geekway.  The kickstarter was last fall and it's due to be out this summer.  They were giving away one copy in the Play and Win contest.  However, EVERYONE wanted to play this game.  There was a sign up sheet, and it's only by the grace of my friend getting there early on Thursday that we got on the list high enough to get a chance to play.  The bummer is that the friend who got us on the list, didn't get to actually play the game.  Highlight of the game was the main creator of the game (Jamey Stegmaier) coming by to ask how we liked the game and if we had any questions.

The game plays on a set map, there's five factions that all have a specific starting space.  The map is a hex grid and the hexes have different resources like wood, metal, oil and food.  There's also villages that help you produce more workers.  You have a character piece that can engage in battle, visit the factory (which gives you some extra abilities) and have encounters (which give you a choice between three different benefits.)  There are also mechs that you can deploy that also help in battle and carry workers to different locations.  The action is dictated by the player boards, all of which are different for each player.  (All players have the same actions though, it's just different how they work together).  The board is split into 4 sections, each section with a top action and a bottom action.  The top typically give some benefit, whereas the bottom allows to you to a special action using one of the four resources.  The goal is to end the game with the most money.  The game ends when someone has played 6 stars on the accomplishment board.  There are several different ways to get a star, including winning combat, completing an objective, achieving maximum popularity or power, and deploying all your mechs, among others.

Now, it could be all the hype.  This game has been pretty hyped up for a while, ever since the box art was released.  So there are some pretty high expectations.  However, I loved playing this game and have not been able to stop thinking about it since.  The world created here is really cool, and the mechanics of the game all work together in such an intricate way.  I want to play all the different factions and I even want to try the solo player automa version.  I'm kicking myself for not backing the Kickstarter campaign, as all of the Collector's Editions are sold out.  I'll take the base version at this point.  I'm even considering doing the print and play to get to play it sooner (yes, there is a free print and play version linked on the Stonemaier website).  I predict that this game will be on many "Best of 2016" board gaming lists.

One other quick funny story happened when we were playiing Spyfall.  In the game, there is one spy, and the rest of the players have a card with the name of a location.  The spy is trying to figure out the location, the others are trying to find the spy.  This is done by asking questions.  My friend asked me the first question in one game, "How did you get here?"  I answered "I drove." He immediately called me out as the spy because the location was the Holy Crusades.

The con was a great time of board games, friends, and fun.  The Play and Win gave us motivation to try lots of new games, and everyone was super friendly, especially the people who came and taught us Twilight Imperium and Scythe.

If you haven't been to a gaming con, I highly recommend them.  If you're in ST. Louis (Rhu) I definitely recommend Geekway, and get your tickets early.  There's also the ever popular Gen Con in Indy, Origins in Ohio, BGG.Con in Dallas, and many many others.

What have YOU been playing lately?

My GeekwayTop 10:

  1. Scythe
  2. Viticulture
  3. La Granja
  4. Boomtown Bandits
  5. Mysterium
  6. Blood Rage
  7. Euphoria
  8. XCOM
  9. Commissioned
  10. Good Cop Bad Cop

First Monday Book Day: It Was a Good Reading Month

My dad always tells me that he can pretty much figure out when classes end for the semester for me just based on my activity on goodreads.  Since the first Monday of May, we've eased into summer vacation here, which has done wonders for my "to-read" pile.

The Fifth Season by N. K. Jemisen - The world is destroyed by a never ending series of natural disasters, and now a newer, bigger disaster has occurred. The world building is really cool, which I'm always a sucker for, and the magic (magicians can draw power from the earth, and cause or quell earthquakes and volcanoes) is super cool.  As of right now, this has my vote for this year's Hugo.

The Dirty Dust by Mairtin O Cadhain - Billed as the best book ever written in Irish, it was translated twice in the past year, making it available in English for the first time.  I really liked this. It's certainly modernist (the entire book is dialogue that weaves in and out of comprehension) and the characters aren't particularly likable. They are all dead and interred in the local graveyard, but they are no less petty and provincial. Old insults fester and new insults bloom throughout and watching the dead continue on in their profane, affronted, unproductive afterlife still somehow makes for a dark comic narrative that was an enjoyable read.

The Sorcerer of the Wildeeps by Kai Ashante Wilson - This was a short novel about a caravan crossing a dangerous wilderness and the love between the sorcerer (wielding some kind of outsider black magic) and the captain (who it appears is a god in disguise).  It was whirling and new and pretty great.

So Sad Today by Melissa Broder - Switching gears quite a bit here, this is a collection of personal essays, with the emphasis on personal.  Broder is a poet (I read her collection "Scarecrone" last year and really liked it) and she really opens herself up here.  Body dysmorphia, monogamy, open marriage, anxiety, depression, vomit fetishes, everything is on the table.  But rendered in a really distinct, vain yet somehow vulnerable voice.  I thought her poetry was very internal when I read it, but these essays expand out into her world without losing that self-centered perspective (and I mean self-centered in as positive a way that I can).

Nagasaki: Life After Nuclear War by Susan Southard - The story of the second atomic bombing told from the perspective of those who survived it.  It is intense, and a story that I did not know.  Seeing the Japanese dealing with an atomic bomb that they didn't understand was horrifying.  The scale of these weapons is awfully incomprehensible to me.

The Sublime Object of Ideology by Slavoj Zizek - The English department's philosophy reading group's pick for the spring semester finished up this month.  I thought it was very interesting, the idea of "they know it, but they do it anyway" being explained in philosophical terms.  As always, half the fun for me was getting to listen to a bunch of people who know what they are talking about talk about this stuff.

Ancient Oceans of Central Kentucky by David Connerly Nahm - Two Dollar Radio might just be the best indie publisher out there.  This is another wonderful book from them.  A man appears claiming to be the narrator's brother who disappeared as a child.  A fractured psychedelic journey through childhood in small town Kentucky results and the final half of the book is incredible.  Another book that I loved.

Mira Corpora by Jeff Jackson - Another Two Dollar Radio book.  This one was very strange, the voice of this book was the best part. Jackson tells a nightmare version of his childhood in a voice that is almost calm, while at the same time being bizarre and dreamlike. The note from the author's introduction is an almost perfect summation - "Sometimes it's been difficult to tell my memories from my fantasies, but that was true even then."

Tinkers by Paul Harding - Pulitzer Prize winner from 2010 or so.  This was good, but for me, not something great.  Old man lies dying in his home surrounded by family, while the stories of his latest three generations are told.

The Utopia of Rules: On Technology, Stupidity, and the Secret Joys of Bureaucracy by David Graeber - The same guy that wrote the history of debt.  Graeber has interesting ideas about why we like bureaucracy even as we profess to hate it and why we need it and turn to it to try and fix problems that we know it can't actually make better.  In dealing with administrators at my university, I enjoyed the thoughts on the power and violence inherent in bureaucracy.  The last essay on Batman is all kinds of dumb though.

Fortune Smiles by Adam Johnson - Six long short stories.  Johnson is a pretty good writer (if you've read The Orphan Master's Son you probably already know this). The characters in every story become real very quickly.  I recommend this one too.

The Wind-Up Girl by Paolo Bacigalupi - I grow weary of genetically engineered apocalypses as settings for science fiction.  However, of that genre, this is a pretty great entry.  The story moves quickly and it was an easy read to get engrossed in.

Beatrice by Stephen Dixon - The latest from Publishing Genius (another favorite indie press).  Beatrice accomplishes what it sets out to do very elegantly, I think. A short novel from inside an aging writer's head as he attempts to deal with the death of his wife. Finding a way through is an enormous undertaking, and that way can be so easily lost.

Nobody Dancing by Cheryl Quimba - Poetry from Publishing Genius.  It was ... OK.

Paradise of the Pacific: Approaching Hawaii by Susana Moore - Another history where I came in knowing very little.  This book was a bit scattered, which took some getting used to, but the subject was an interesting one, so I made it through.  Hawaii is a pretty interesting place, I might have to seek out more info on this.


Like I said, it's been a good month for reading.

Diary of a 50-something Widower

Two years ago May 10th my wife of nearly 24 years passed away after a nasty illness. We had two children of college age living away from home, which meant that I was entering my 50’s flying solo, picking up the pieces of a life that was once a partnership. How does one do that? There’s no survivor’s manual: do A, next is B, then follow up with C and Presto! you now have a life with new routines and go from there. Unsurprisingly it’s not quite that easy. While thinking about that, this Rumi quote has been sticking in my mind lately:

“Sorrow prepares you for joy. It violently sweeps everything out of your house, so that new joy can find space to enter. It shakes the yellow leaves from the bough of your heart, so that fresh, green leaves can grow in their place. It pulls up the rotten roots, so that new roots hidden beneath have room to grow. Whatever sorrow shakes from your heart, far better things will take their place.”

Continue reading Diary of a 50-something Widower

First or Second Monday or Tuesday Book Day

I'm currently working my way through The Accidental City: Improvising New Orleans by Lawrence Powell, a history professor at Tulane. It's occasionally dry in its recounting of names, but the history of New Orleans as a city that kept itself as independent as possible from the various 17th and 18th century colonial powers is an interesting one. I'm almost up to the Louisiana Purchase.

On deck, I have Nagasaki: Life After Nuclear War by Susan Southard, so I have a little mini theme of city-based historical books going on right now.

What are you reading?