Nice to be running in the cooler temps...
We did a 9 mile slog in heat/humidity only 3 weeks ago and I must have stopped to walk a dozen times, gasping like an amphibian washed upon some distant shore, sweating like a Gatorade ad.
Last week we polished off an easy 12 with the cooler temps. Today was also cool and an easy 9 (taper) for the upcoming Hartford Half in two weeks.
It's really different running with other people - get into a good conversation and you don't notice the miles fly by.
A is for: (a little) arrogant
I didn’t know much about babies before the jalapeno was born in 2010, but I thought I knew—in general terms—how I’d approach being a parent. All I had to do was follow the example of my own parents.
Growing up, I always felt that my sister and I were at the center of our parents’ lives. They worked hard at their jobs during the day, but on evenings and weekends they were supremely attentive to our needs, our activities, etc. Not to say we got everything we wanted—they were plenty firm about setting limits—but they always seemed to be focused on us. I wouldn’t say they were at the level of helicopter parents, but they were definitely very involved. I suppose I must have known that they theoretically had lives of their own, but that fact barely registered. My mom’s hobbies included things like going to church meetings and sewing clothes for my sister and me. My parents occasionally got a babysitter and went to the theater or the SPCO, but it was rare. All in all, everyone seemed pretty happy with this arrangement.
B is for: (lack of) balance
Fast forward to after the jalapeno was born. I went back to work when he was three months old. My general routine became: work (at a job I liked, fortunately), spend time with the jalapeno, dinner, tend to whatever chores needed to be done, collapse into bed at 9:00, dreading how often the jalapeno might wake during the night. Over time, his sleep improved somewhat (hello, sleep training) and I started working in occasional trips to the gym. I went online and read message boards where moms talked about their babies. Sometimes I found the energy to catch up with a friend or two via email. Once in a while, we made plans to get together with friends (who also had small children) on the weekends. But I rarely left the house other than to go to work or the gym.
In retrospect, this seems ridiculous. How could this setup possibly be a good idea? But I’m by nature an overachiever. I was trying to do everything “right” for my kid, but in doing so I was failing myself.
C is for: changes
Fast forward again to the present day. The jalapeno is 4 years old and the pepperoncino is 15 months. I’m still working full time (and fortunately still like my job). Life is chaotic, to say the least. In theory, I have less free time than ever, but I’m doing things differently now. Having gone through all the infant and toddler stuff once before, I know that many of the hard things are only temporary. I stay away from online discussions where moms compare and compete about what their children are doing and everyone knows what’s best for all babies everywhere. I’m also making time to do things that have nothing to do with my job or my children.
Get a last-minute chance to go to a Twins game on a beautiful day? Do it. Hear about a bizarre online game run by some guy who goes by a moniker that has to do with scary dairy products? Do it. Have a friend who wants to check out a new restaurant (sans kids)? Do it.
There are by no means enough hours in the day to do everything I’d like—for my job, for my kids, or for myself. But now that I’m no longer trying to be something that was making me miserable, I’m a lot better off, and I daresay my kids are better off as well.
Image credit: (cc) Michael Verhoef
I spent a good part of this month on vacation or preparing for it. While on vacation, though, I took in some stuff.
Prometheus. Why is this movie so dull? Ridley Scott remembered to take a lot of pretty enough shots, but the story really takes its time, and the cast just doesn't become particularly engaging for the viewer, outside of lead actress Noomi Rapace and Idris Elba, who really can do no wrong. Also, clear this up for me: did people watch this whole movie unaware that it was a prequel? I remember hearing people say they were shocked by the ending setting up the Alien franchise, but I can't imagine being force-fed any more clearly. Maybe my memory on this is failing?
The only good thing I saw anytime recently was Django Unchained unless we add TV, and even that was pretty light of late.
What have you seen?
Last weekend, did a mile swim on Friday, a 7 mile slog-run in very-warm-and-humid West Hartford (bet I lost 7 lbs in sweat) on Saturday, and a 100-mile bike-ride in East Massachusetts (Narragansett Wheelmen Century). Took about 7.5 hours (the wife got a flat around mile 30, natch).
Yeah, I'm kinda sore from all that - need to roll out the legs, replenish, heal, and recover for Hartford Half-Marathon training (race is 10/11).
In looking at these, remember that they are done on a team-by-team basis. In other words, we're giving an award for being the best player on each team for the 2014 season. Thus, someone who spent half the season for one team and half the season for another, while he may have done very well for both, might not be the player of the year for either one.
Well, August and the first day of September.
The World Science Fiction Convention has come and gone in the past month which means one big thing to me. Hugo Awards. I like the Hugos because they are far enough into the year that most everything they recognize is widely available. Lots of people have lots of very valid criticism about the nominating and voting process for these awards (both are done by fans and convention-goers only), so “Hugo Award Winner” doesn’t necessarily correlate to “Absolute Best Stuff Out There”, but it’s a nice place to start for those who haven’t read every bit of sci-fi published in the last year.
Other big awards that have lead me to really good stories in the past are:
That’s a lot of reading, and I won’t pretend that I got through everything on all those lists. Instead we’ll start with the Hugos and maybe fill in some editorializing about things I enjoyed that missed out. As always, where I can find material freely available online, I've provided a link.
BEST SHORT STORY
The Water That Falls on You From Nowhere (John Chu) – Hugo Winner. A love story in a world where every time someone lies, they are immediately drenched with water.
If You Were a Dinosaur, My Love (Rachel Swirsky) –Nebula Winner. I really liked this story, the gimmick of the story almost wears thin, but it fits the events that put the whole thing in motion. Nominated for Hugo, Nebula, and WFA.
Selkie Stories Are for Losers (Sofia Samatar) – My favorite of the four. The narrator’s mother was a selkie, a seal who was trapped in human form when the narrator’s father stole her coat. Nominated for Hugo, Nebula, and WFA.
The Ink Readers of Doi Saket(Thomas Olde Heuvelt) – Nominated for Hugo and WFA. Set in a village in Thailand where all the wishes that are set in the river during a festival are collected. A good enough story.
THINGS HUGO MISSED?
Effigy Nights (Yoon Ha Lee) – Her collection Conservation of Shadows was incredibly good. If you like this story, get the book, because every single story in there I liked. WFA nominee.
BEST NOVELLETE
The Lady Astronaut of Mars (Mary Robinette Kowal) - Hugo Winner. You should read anything by Robinette Kowal, this is a good story about an aging astronaut having to revisit old disasters.
The Waiting Stars (Ailette deBodard) - Nebula Winner. From the same universe as “Immersion” (my favorite story from last year’s awards), deBodard is amassing a bunch of these really powerful pieces about alienation and culture. Another really good story.
The Truth of Fact, the Truth of Feeling (Ted Chiang) - I love Ted Chiang’s stories. He always does an amazing job of weaving technology and memory together. This story is very good, but I can see why it didn’t win.
The Exchange Officers (Brad Torgersen) (link goes to a .pdf) – I struggled to finish this one. Especially as it was in a category with three writers that I knew and had enjoyed in the past, this one felt as though it didn’t belong.
THINGS HUGO MISSED?
The Prayer of Ninety Cats (Caitlin Kiernan) - Nominated for Locus and WFA. A story of fear and illusion framed by a movie that tells the (fairly graphic) story of Elizabeth Bathory.
BEST NOVELLA:
Equoid by Charles Stross - Hugo Winner. This is pretty good horror. It uses Lovecraft as a jumping off point, but it will turn your stomach and sets up a pretty good monster. My only quibble is that it’s clearly a part of an existing universe (Stross’ Laundry series) and so it’s not self-contained like some others on the list.
Wakulla Springs (Andy Duncan & Ellen Klages) - Set in a Florida swamp over several generations. Nominated for nearly everything (Hugo, Nebula, WFA, Locus).
Six-Gun Snow White (Catherynne Valente). I have loved Valente’s work before this (“Silently and Very Fast” was one of my Hugo favorites a couple years ago) and this transposition of Snow White’s story to the American West is a pretty good story. Nominated for Hugo, Nebula, WFA, Locus - Winner of Locus Award.
(Not freely available that I know of)
The Butcher of Khardov (Dan Wells). A character study of a monster. The butcher’s motivations won’t really surprise you too much, but Wells does a pretty good job of telling the tale in an entertaining fashion.
(Not freely available)
The Chaplain’s Legacy (Brad Torgersen) (link goes to a .pdf) - Liked it fine. Didn’t surprise me much, though there were some scenes that were nicely executed. A chaplain who averted the destruction of the human race is called back into negotiations with an alien race.
THINGS HUGO MISSED?
The Weight of the Sunrise (Vylar Kaftan) - Nebula Winner. Didn't get to read this, but I will sometime soon.
BEST NOVEL:
Ancillary Justice (Ann Leckie) -
This won everything it was nominated for (Hugo, Nebula, Locus). I finally got a copy that I hope to get to this month. Everything I’ve heard has said this is very very good, so I’d recommend it based on that alone. If you read it in September, then we’ll have something for sure to talk about in the next Book Day post!
The Wheel of Time series (Robert Jordan & Brandon Sanderson) -
Enough has probably been said about this. If you feel like 10,000 pages of fantasy might be up your alley, this will scratch that itch.
Neptune’s Brood (Charles Stross) -
I don’t know Charles Stross’ work at all (save for his story in the novella category), but this was nominated for a Locus and a Hugo, so I’ve been tempted to check it out.
THINGS HUGO MISSED?
The Golem and the Jinni (Helene Wecker). I'm two-thirds of the way through this book right now, it seems as though it's a bit longer than it needs to be, but the title characters are interesting. Nominated for Locus, WFA, Nebula.
Stranger in Olondria (Sofia Samatar). Sounds interesting, and I really liked her short story, so I might get around to this one. Nominated for Locus, WFA, Nebula
The Ocean at the End of the Lane (Neil Gaiman). I wasn’t impressed. But then I haven’t connected with Gaiman in the couple of chances I’ve afforded him. Nominated for Locus, WFA, Nebula. Winner of Locus award.
-----------------------------
That might get us started for some discussion. What have you been reading?
FXX is currently running an Every Simpsons Ever Marathon, and I've been tuning in a lot. I watched an absurd amount of The Simpsons in college and law school, and even after that. Right about up until I had kids. In some ways, it's weird to think that they've continued on for the past 5 years, without me. I'm kind of looking forward to seeing some of the newer episodes during this marathon.
I thought it would be worth having a conversation on the WGOM about The Simpsons. For a long time I was of the mindset that The Simpsons stopped being good right about Season 9. But last night I saw a number of episodes from Season 10, and I realized there were some really good ones still. Not all of them. And there were some real clunkers ("Maximum Homerdrive" ::shudder::). But two of them even makes my top 10 favorites list. (Which I'll present here, and maybe try to kick off a conversation). It might well be time for me to re-evaluate my earlier take on The Simpsons.
Though I remain disappointed in the movie. I mean, in a Simpsons movie the bad guy has to be Mr. Burns, right? How did they manage to mess up such a natural mandate? Sigh. Anyway, here's my favorites. Lots of good ones I had to leave off the list.
Phil's 10 Phavorite Simpsons Episodes:
Das Bus (#5F11 / SI-911)
Team Homer (#3F10)
Homer vs. the Eighteenth Amendment (#4F15)
22 Short Films About Springfield (#3F18)
Simpson Tide (#3G04)
You Only Move Twice (#3F23)
Bart Sells His Soul (#3F02)
Mom and Pop Art (#AABF15)
The Old Man and the "C" Student (#AABF16)
Homer the Great (#2F09)
Whilst in Minny two weeks back I took out a yew alongside the house in prep for house painting, but the hedge shears took me down like bloodhounds on Cool Hand Luke.
That and oncet back in H'istan, I had to tackle enormous weedage in the backyard, plus numerous simultaneous powerpoint presentations at work. And, hellboy button mouse on the laptop - net effect - swelling in the wrists, and Constant Sorrows.
I am training for a century ride first week in September in Dartmouth, MA. I did this one last year, took 7 hours. NBBW is joining us this year.
Ibuprofen hasn't made any difference. I need to try bag of frozen peas on the arm.
But I did get in my 65 miles on Sunday (loop from H'istan to E. Longmeadows, MA). Suck it up, boyo.
Like so many of these monthly posts, it's often obvious that father doesn't necessarily know best...nor does mother, and nor do so many others.
I delayed writing this until the last minute, not because I didn't have a topic, but because of privacy concerns. Since there is some anonymity to this site, I'm going ahead and sharing my daughter's story here -- please respect her privacy. Thanks.
Just a couple weeks before finals of the fall semester of Runner daughter's Junior year of college, Mrs. Runner and I found ourselves driving 1-½ hours to her apartment, where we found her curled up on her bed, a sobbing mess. This was our jarring introduction to anxiety disorders.
We didn't know what the problem was at the time, but it didn't take long to diagnose. No one can be certain what brought it on, but surely the stress of college was part of it, and we also discovered that some OCD was also involved, as was the combined living space with three others in her apartment suite. Any thoughts of salvaging at least a class or two of the current semester were gone, as was starting the next semester.
What does this attack look like? I'm sure this isn't necessarily typical for all anxiety attacks, but in her case it was like seeing someone caught between deciding to do two or more things at once and the confusion that would cause; the fallout wasn't just emotional but also physical, leaving her core muscles painfully sore.
The medical treatment for anxiety disorders isn't something that can be done overnight: any of the medications generally need to be started at a low level and increased slowly over time, in concert with any therapist and/or psychologist visits. Several weeks after her treatment had begun, we were frustrated to have to start over with a different medication when we determined the first was not working adequately. She was experiencing nightmares, and I'm proud of her for recognizing when she was having suicidal thoughts and called an expert -- her godmother, who is a pastor and also has dealt with people with anxiety disorders. Also during this time, we got a small rescue dog, who was a life raft to her (and to us!)
While waiting on pharmaceutical relief, the three of us were learning how to identify when an attack was coming on, and how to prepare and combat it. And it was frustrating and slow going. Little by little, though, life began returning to normal. Runner daughter explored a new major at a more local college, and took a required class or two at the community college. We weren't sure we'd ever get there, but she enrolled for the fall semester. The next summer she got a part time job, which she kept through her Senior year. She still has (very infrequent) attacks, but she is able to recognize them and deal with them accordingly.
This spring she graduated (Magna Cum Laude) and had a job lined up even before she had graduated. And she's now looking at apartments. We thank God daily that she is back to being her (fairly) confident, headstrong self.
Why do I share all this? Partly because I know many parents have similar trials, and those that do can know that there is help and that it can work. The other part is that hopefully you empathize with people who do have mental disorders and those who work with them -- not just anxiety disorders, but eating disorders, depression, and even more debilitating afflictions.
