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2012 Twins Game Recaps

TV Review: Twins Baseball “Same Old Sad Story” (Episode 46, Season 52)

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"Same Old Sad Story" lived up its name, as the show's writers seem intent on punishing the faithful who continue to view this cliched nonsense week in and week out. For those of you who wisely tuned out, here's what you missed.

* Carl continued to try and fail to battle his demons (we did learn something about his father being murdered by a strikeout pitch, so I guess that was new)
* Some lame subplot about how it sucks to fail when it really counts
* The opposing team won

Sound familiar? It ought to. We've seen this same episode no fewer than seven times now. At this point, I'm not even sure why Carl is still a recurring character, as we've obviously seen everything he has to offer. I suppose there's something to be said for a familiar face, but there's no way that a fresh face could be worse (on the other hand, I've seen previews of some of the upcoming character "spotlight episodes" featuring characters like Frankie and P.J., so maybe the producers are just working with what they have - what can I say? Times are tough.) The point is, this episode wasn't any good the first seven times, it's not good now, and based on what we've seen, I think the writing staff is out of new ideas. I know this season was written to be a rebuilding of sorts - bring the plot back to "bunch of scrappy losers find a way to win three times" - and while that makes the occasional good episode a real pleasure, it's an awful slog to go through. Let's just say nobody's going to be streaming anything from this season on Netflix anytime soon.

Confession time. I'm beginning to think that this show is miscast. Joe Mauer tries admirably, but he simply doesn't have what it takes to pull off the villain character the show's producers and advertisements so clearly want him to be. He's much better suited to be one of the hero characters. Maybe they'll cast him that way later, but I don't have any faith that the producers know what they're doing.

It doesn't seem that long ago that this show was one of the best things on television. The plot was tight and unpredictable, the characters were all well played and likable (and those that weren't were pruned from the cast before they became the avatars of frustration that some of this season's characters have been). Who can forget the heartbreak of 2008's season finale? Or the joy of 2010's string of exceptionally strong episodes? This show has become rote, and as such, I cannot recommend further viewing until several things are remedied.

2012 Twins Game Log

2012 Game 46: Tigers @ Twins

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Okay. This team stinks, but last week, I posted the game plan for victory - and they followed it to victory. The best part? Absolutely nothing has changed. Sure, Max Scherzer might strike out 30 more per nine innings than Carl Pavano (I think I actually saw Carl Pavano summon the ghosts of baseball players past so he could un-strike them out, lowering his k/9 to something like -4... dark magic, that), but he has no facial hair whatsoever.

Meanwhile, Morneau has parlayed his smooth Canadian charm into in actual war on the opposing pitcher - I wouldn't be surprised if he hit seven home runs today in four at bats.

Mauer's a pussy, but he'll probably whine his way on base two or three times this afternoon. A.J. would advance the runners with a leadership scowl, but walking's cool, too, I guess.

We're actually playing at Target Field today, so expect the Tigers to ground out weakly in shame when they think of where they have to play their games.

This is in the bag, people. Can we just skip to tomorrow so that we can catch a nailbiter?

My prediction: Twins 14, Tigers 8.

2012 Twins Game Log

Game 40: Twins @ Brewers

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Well, hey. It looks like we've got ourselves a little winning streak here. Let's do some in-depth analysis and see how the odds look for extending it.

PITCHERS
Carl Pavano (2-3, 4.38 FIP, 4.28 xFIP, 0 k/9)
Yovani Gallardo (2-4, 3.89 FIP, 3.96 xFIP, made up name)

Edge: Initially, it would seem that the Brewers have the edge here, but even though Pavano seems to have taken a sacred vow to never strike anyone out ever, I'm going to go with the Twins here. Unless you're Randy Johnson, pitching is 90% luck, 10% facial hair, and Pavano's rebounded nicely after a tough 2011.

HITTERS
I'd be a fool to bet against a lineup that prominently features a catcher sporting a .350/.381/.450 slash line. Twins, it is.

BALLPARK
Miller Park can't possibly hope to match Target Field, so even though they're not playing at Target Field today, I'm giving the advantage to the Twins.

INTANGIBLES
Morneau's radiant good cheer (that is how he won that MVP in 2006, right?) is worth a hundred of whatever the Brewers might have in this department (beer, maybe? brats? Ryan Braun's contaminated urine?)

Adding all of that up (4-0), I'd say it's pretty much a sure thing. The Twins are going to sweep this series!*

* yes, I might be getting ahead of myself here, but with literally every indicator saying that they'll win this game, why wouldn't they win the next one, too?

2012 Twins Game Log

Game 33: Blue Jays at Twins

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The Twins won last night. It was a pretty good game. Between that and sitting out on the deck drinking delicious gin and tonics most of the afternoon, I'm feeling pretty positive.

Tonight might change that. Drew Hutchison hasn't shown up on any elite prospect lists that I know of, but he compiled a pretty good FIP throughout the minors (2.22) whereas our pitcher (P.J. Walters) didn't wow folks quite as much.

But this is positive day, so rather than judge our starting pitchers by their minor league record, we'll note that Hutchison hasn't exactly wowed anyone in his cup of coffee thus far. Theorhetically, he'd be the type of high-strikeout, low walk guy that would eat the Twins alive, but nothing is stopping this winning streak from hitting '2'.

2012 Twins Game Recaps

Game 26 Recap: Twins @ M’s

On the surface, this looks like a tough matchup. On all the other levels, it looks like one, too.

mmhmmm...

On the surface, Marquis giving up two runs in six innings sounds decent enough, but he walked six in his six innings, along with the four hits that he scattered, so without the three double plays, this could've been a lost worse.

Luckily, the Twins got a hit (just one, though) to make sure they didn't get no hit twice in a week.

Golly this team is fun to watch right now.

2012 Twins Game Log

Game 26: Twins @ Mariners

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I'm stuck painting my office all day, so I'm going to quarter bake this game log. It's too bad, really, because after last night, it feels like our favorite team deserves half baked, at least. What can you do, though?

Perennial Cy Young candidate (and one time winner) Felix Hernandez takes on perennial DFA candidate (and current 2-0 staff ace) Jason Marquis. On the surface, this looks like a tough matchup. On all the other levels, it looks like one, too.

So, um... Go Twins! I'm going to go put on a second coat.

2012 Twins Game Log

Game 21: Twins vs. Royals

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This is a game log. It is a place for you to share concise, often humorous thoughts while you watch the Twins lose.

It is customary for each game log to have an introduction, wherein that log's author discusses various things about the team. I am currently suffering from a profound lack of motivation in this regard. Therefore, while the log will still be created, you are going to have to pretend that I said something profound like "Oh, that Joe Mauer guy is pretty good, right?" or "This is all Casilla's fault".

Jason Marquis - (1-0, 7.15 ERA, 6.11 FIP, 3.75 xFIP) will pitch for the Twins.
Bruce Chen - (0-2, 2.52 ERA, 3.61 FIP, 3.92 xFIP) will pitch for the Royals.

Enjoy.

2012 Twins Game Recaps

Game 15 Recap: Clete vs. the Sombrero

Clete had been waiting for the call for exactly one week. He still remembered being brought in to Leyland's office that morning.

"Clete, we need you to turn trader to are team."

"Sir, I can't do that, you're like brothers to me."

"This mission is even more critical than playing fifth outfielder. The Twins don't seem dangerous, but our mystics have seen the future, and left unchecked, they will win the division by one game. You must get in there and find a way to stop them."

"How will I know when it's time?"

"You'll know, Clete. You'll know."

The problem was, he didn't know. He had no idea which at bats were important, which moments could possibly make a difference in the long term scheme of things. Therefore, he decided to strike out constantly. Then, one week later, the opportunity he'd been waiting for fell into his lap. The enemy had staged a small rally, and was within striking distance. Suddenly, Clete knew, this was his chance - but he had struck out so many times before, had he missed his chance?

As it turned out, Gardy was drunk, so Clete stood at the bat and looked ridiculous striking out.

Somewhere in the stands, Leyland smiled and whispered "I knew you could do it, kid" as he brazenly disobeyed Target Field's smoking policy.

2012 Twins Game Log

Game 15: Twins at Rays

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The internet connection is extremely spotty at my house right now, so instead of giving you the well thought out, well researched behemoth of a game log intro that you all deserve, I'm going to spout off random things that I like and dislike about the team without backing any of it up with anything resembling a fact.

Likes

  • Burton's Splange - He threw one or two last night, and when that pitch is on, it's a thing of beauty. He seems like a good pickup about 10% of the way through the season, and looks like he could be a decent late inning option. I wasn't expecting to say that about any of the offseason relief pickups, but none of them have been failing to live up to what I'd hope for (Grey is finally letting the rest of the team's pitchers wins a few games, Maloney hasn't tripped on the pitching rubber or picked any fights with fans or umpires, there might be someone else I'm forgetting, but the fact that he's not springing to mind means that I probably haven't been cursing his name too often, so... uh... keep being invisible, other relief guy).
  • The Porkstar - My Reds fan buddy noted how nice it was that the Twins finally had a free agent signing work out. I could have punched him for his condescending tone, but instead, I simply nodded my head in agreement. Willingham's been good with the bat, and he's only the second worst outfielder I've seen play for Minnesota over the last five years. Once you factor in that they had to get rid of Delmon Young to make it so that they could go out and get him, and it's not just a net positive - I can confidently say that it's the best thing that's ever happened to this team.
  • Mauer/Morneau - I was concerned about Morneau for a bit there in the first few games, but he seems to be taking much better swings over the last few games. Mauer's been solid as he ought to be; I just wish he were just a little bit more manly, because seriously, it's got to be bringing the team down.
  • Having a middle infielder simultaneously batting second and not sucking - Carrol's D is much better than I expected (no one show me any +/- numbers, I don't want to see if I'm wrong on this one. It's also really nice to not have a black hole batting second. The hits are starting to come, and I love the patient way the guy bats. They've got 3 guys at the top of the lineup that bleed the pitcher dry. Very cool.
  • Span - It's really nice having him back as the leadoff hitter. Now that Baker's probably gone forever, I'm tempted to say that Span's my favorite Twin.

Dislikes

  • Casilla - I'm pretty sure that the stats don't bear me out on this, but I find myself constantly unimpressed by Casilla. I know he's the replacement-level guy who's just a placeholder at this point, but I find myself going to the kitchen to get a snack when he comes up. If my diet is going to succeed, I need someone else there.
  • Starting pitching - I was slightly (probably stupidly) hopeful coming into the season. The idea of Liriano pitching well, Baker doing what he always does, Pavano eating innings, with some combination of who cares and someone else filling out the last two spots meant that the Twins would likely be getting 2 or 3 strong starts per time through the rotation. The quality start stat is an awful way of looking at anything, but if Pavano bombs tonight, we'll have gone 5 games without seeing a single start that was even halfway decent. With Hendricks, Blackburn, Swarzack, and Liriano (who seems to be intent on showing that 2011 was not his floor) behind Pavano, I have zero faith in the rotation - and more worryingly, no real hope for anything in the future to patch things up. The idea of being just close enough at trading season for management to go get a "proven winner" puts a chill in my bones.
  • Capps - He hasn't exactly exploded into tiny pieces yet, but it's coming, my friends... oh yes, it's coming.

Pavano* takes on Shields* tonight.

I'm to predict a win. 6-3. Mauer gets a double and a couple of RBIs, but Willingham's hit streak ends (he'll make a comment in the aftergame interview on how all that stuff is cool, but "it doesn't matter, so long as we get the 'W'").

* Both of them have presumably played baseball at some point this season, but if you want all those sexy stats, you'll have to look them up yourself, my computer is currently in a hate/hate relationship with any kind of site where I could look them up for you.