Category Archives: Parentgood

FKB – He and Me.

Reflections on my father and me, ala James Joyce.

He:  Menahga High School, 1953 Chevy, Air Force, Airman, Sebeka, Radar, First Class, Korea, Senior Airman, Montana, Sioux City, IA,  Springfield MO, Staff Sergeant, Canal Zone, Panama, ceviche, guinippes (Melicoccus bijugatus), Park Rapids, pistacchios, duck hunting, Viet Nam, reel-to-reel tapes to my mom, Technical Sergeant, Australia, Philippines, Master Sergeant, Duluth MN, smelt-fishing, weather maps, Sr. Master Sergeant, circus peanuts, US Post Office, dark-house spear-fishing, deer hunting.  He loved to grill during a blizzard as did I.  My brothers and I hauled a large rock to the spot in the Itasca State Park where he had his deer stand.

Me:  Park Rapids High School, Dostoevsky, UMD, Fiat, Poland, mathematics, computational linguistics, rational logic,  computer science, Control Data, Scandia, compilers, core-file analysis, Slovakia, Martin Marietta,  EPIX, tcp/ip, lex/yacc, UnitedHealth, patent, design recovery,  grad school, Kefissia, Milan, Istanbul, Mahler, CSC, fixed up a 1951 Chevy, SGS Borealis, grouse hunting, master gardener,  Heinrich Buhl, Durrenmat, G. Grass, US Bank, Hartford, bikram yoga, P. Glass, Messiaen, Aetna, cricket, Bhimsen, triathlon, half-marathon, marathon, Cigna, up to 54 countries now, Gravity's Rainbow.

A while back, I was fly-fishing in the Fish-hook river (which feeds into the Straight River).  Another guy was working his way downstream.   We pass each other with greetings.  A minute later, he says, Hey!  Are you Ray's boy?  I say yes, and feel wonderful at the recognition.

I was on a flight from Paris to Stockholm, and next to me was a Swedish man that had many facial features of my father.  We could have been related.  I wanted to talk with him but he only knew Swedish and me English.

 

Time, is not on my side.

The old me:
“My dog ate my homework.” Translation: “I didn’t do it.”
“There must have been a power outage or something because my alarm didn’t go off!” Translation: “I overslept.”
“If Joe in accounting had done his job, I’d have finished this project on time.” Translation: “I procrastinated and gave it to Joe in accounting a day before the deadline.”
“Man was that traffic terrible this morning.” Translation: “I overslept”

The new me:
“Everything takes twice as long with a two-year-old in the house!” Translation: “Everything takes twice as long with a two-year-old in the house!”

Sound familiar?

Continue reading Time, is not on my side.

Father Knows Best: Snowflakes

About a month ago Aquinas, who is 4 (and a boy) had a preschool Christmas pageant.  I may have told the story before, but bear with me.  After the first song, one of the little girls waved and shouted "Hi, Mom!"  The audience laughed.  And you could see the light-bulb go on over Aquinas' head.   From that point on, in each of the lulls between songs, he would do something "silly" like shout nonsense words, wave his arms wildly, or even flipping his bottom lip with his hands (a bit unsanitary...).  We were a embarrassed. "Wouldn't want to be that kid's parents," we said.
Continue reading Father Knows Best: Snowflakes

Father Knows Best: Or Rather, Father Knows Little

This edition of FKB will be advice free and more of a theraputic thing for me, I think.

Our first experience with a newborn was somewhat difficult, especially for new parents and someone like me who was previously against the idea of having kids at all. The reflux and the late night screaming was difficult to adjust to, and I struggled initially. But, in the end, and after the reflux diagnoses at about three months, we ended up with the best daughter ever. After that, it took me awhile to get into the idea of having another. My wife wanted one (with a reasonable separation between the two, though) but I just wasn't sure if I was ready for two or if it was a better idea to just be able to devote all of our attention to the wonderful little girl we had. Eventually, after hanging out with some of our friends with two kids and seeing that dynamic (all boys, but still) and remembering my own experiences growing up in a two child household, I decided I was ready for it.

Continue reading Father Knows Best: Or Rather, Father Knows Little

Father Knows Best: Youth Baseball

Most of my experience with youth baseball can probably be applied to other sports, but all my boys have ever played has been baseball or softball, so I'll just stick to that. Junior has expressed and a little talent in cross country and has even participated in a Running Club at school, but I wasn't involved in that, so I'll just stick to baseball and softball. Continue reading Father Knows Best: Youth Baseball

Father Knows Best — Life Happens

I signed up for the September Father Knows Best gig back in the Spring thinking it would be a nice to discuss what it’s like to be newly minted empty nesters, especially given the fact that many Citizens have young children (or at least preteens).  You know, assure everyone that there is light at the end of the tunnel.  Unfortunately since that time my life has been a huge roller coaster ride and if you forgive me, I’m going to write about that instead.  However, if you get to the end of this very long post (1,100 words plus) I do have a Father Knows Best related piece that I promise you will find interesting. Continue reading Father Knows Best — Life Happens

Father Slowly Knowing Best

The baby was a week late, so I'm going to be a week late.

What we quickly learned to not be delinquent about was feeding. I'm a schedule-orientated person, though not an obsessive one, so this works. I prefer schedules to not involve waking up in the too small hours of the night, but that's better than still being awake during the much larger hours.

It was quite trying to set up. The boy would nurse just fine and then fall asleep either during or not long after. That led us to believe we were doing things okay. Nope, turns out nursing just knocks him out. He was still quite hungry, but couldn't stay awake. Only took a few stressful nights to learn otherwise. He still controls the schedule, but now we know about it and can plan better.

I am curious how things are going to evolve once I return to work. We have similar methods of problem solving, so I'm in no way concerned about things.

Overall, it's definitely been great. I'm looking forward to getting past the eat-sleep-poop stage.

Father Knows Best: Oh! The Places You’ll Go!


So, it happened. I turned 50 earlier this week. Half a century. For most of human history, 50 was at or above the average lifespan. (of course, the key word there is average, as the life expectancy at adulthood has changed relatively little in the past few centuries; whatever, ignore that like you would ignore Bluto talking about the Germans bombing Pearl Harbor; forget it, I'm rolling). So this is a milestone. A time to reflect. A time to look ahead.

Continue reading Father Knows Best: Oh! The Places You’ll Go!

Father Knows Best: Father’s Day

It turns out I have the good fortune to write our Father Knows Best post the week after Father's Day.  I wish I could say this was well-planned on my part, but, like most of my parenting, I just sort of stumbled into it.  I wasn't entirely sure what to write about, but then my "kids" (Philosofette) wrote a whole bunch of post-it notes about the things I do for them and posted them all around our apartment.  It made me feel pretty awesome.  I'm going to use a couple of those notes to hit on some of the high points of my parenting.  Since, you know... they're few and far between. Continue reading Father Knows Best: Father’s Day