Monthly Archives: October 2018

Parentgood

Father Knows Best – Not the Papa

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So, eighteen months ago, one of the couples I am friends with had a child. I was 35 at the time, and while I had other friends who had children, this was the first couple in my closest group of friends to have a child. I suppose here is where I should maybe mention that he’s named after another friend and I.

J & I are child free by choice. J had never wanted children; I was petty ambivalent about it growing up. In 2010 I had a vasectomy, much to my mother’s chagrin. She assumed we would change our mind at some point I guess. I’d always told her, and continue to tell her, that we will be the cool aunt and uncle, but raising children just really isn’t for us.

In the last several months I have spent quite a bit of time with these friends and their boy, who I guess I will call Dub Z. Before he was born, my friends talked a lot about how they wanted us to be like uncles to Dub Z. I think I have hit that point in his eyes. His parents say he talks about me all the time when I am not there, and he gets real excited when I come to visit. I’ve grown pretty close to him and feel that we are good presences in each other’s lives. Even though I've never felt like fatherhood is something that I must do, I have to admit that watching him grow and change and bond with me is a really great feeling.

I've had two major realizations as a result of all this.

The first is that folks, like my mother, who wonder how or why J & I don't want kids, seem shocked that I am close with Dub Z. I don't really understand this line of thinking? Neither of us don't want children because we hate kids or something. I have pretty severe anxiety in groups of people, and being around children can definitely stress me out (they don't behave like adults so the same coping mechanisms I apply don't work!) but that doesn't mean I hate them. The things that I want out of life, personally, will be easier to obtain without children. I've been told by my mom (and others!) that this is selfish, but I think the truly selfish act would be having children that I am not fully prepared for. And I'm definitely not. But that doesn't mean that I can't go hang out with a kiddo and his parents and share my life with him a little bit. Honestly, the opportunity to instill a young boy with positive values is huge, and I want to take every advantage of that I can.

And that brings me to the second point. While spending this time with him is great, and I make every effort do so as often as I can, it has reinforced my belief that being a parent is not the right life for me. Raising kids is a ton of work! I'm pretty constantly in awe of the ways my friends have been able to adapt to parenthood. And I know that those types of adaptations are ones which I am not really capable of. For an example, Dub Z has recently started potty training, so my friends spent a lot of time checking in with him to make sure he doesn't need to poop or pee. I will literally sit at my desk until I'm in pain because I forget to go to the bathroom unless my body reminds me. I'm not sure I'd be a great teacher or example here!

With all that said, I think that our arrangement works out pretty well. I stop by basically every Saturday that I am home and we have low key hangouts together. We make a dinner plan as a group, and I try to bring over a treat for them. They get to have conversations with an adult, and they don't have to worry about me being weird or uncomfortable around Dub Z. It's not how I expected to be spending my weekends when I was younger, but it's pretty great.

Now that you've all read my ramblings, I'll ask you for a little bit of advice. I'd like to set aside a little money for Dub Z to use towards school when he graduates, and share my relative good fortune with him. I'm not super comfortable talking to his folks about it; I think they would appreciate it, but I also don't want to make them uncomfortable in some way. I also don't want to create some sort of tax burden or liability for them, especially if it impacts his ability to get financial aid. Bonds or something seem simplest but I'm open to any good ideas. I've got another 16 years to get things sorted, but I'd like to start sooner rather than later, and hopefully help get his adult life a solid start.

Keeping Track

1969 Rewind: Game Twenty-two

MINNESOTA 3, CHICAGO 1 IN MINNESOTA

Date:  Saturday, May 3.

Batting stars:  Leo Cardenas was 3-for-4.  Harmon Killebrew was 1-for-4 with a two-run homer, his fifth.

Pitching stars:  Jim Perry pitched five innings, giving up one run on five hits and a walk and striking out one.  Ron Perranoski pitched four shutout innings, giving up one hit and two walks and striking out one.

Opposition stars:  Luis Aparicio was 2-for-4 with a double.  Carlos May was 1-for-4 with a home run, his sixth.  Gary Peters pitched six innings, giving up two runs on five hits and no walks and striking out two.

The game:  Nobody came very close to scoring until the fifth, when Cardenas hit a one-out single and Killebrew followed with a two-run homer.  May homered in the sixth to cut the lead to 2-1.  The White Sox missed a chance for more, as Aparicio followed with a double and Bill Melton was hit by a pitch.  A bunt moved men to second and third, Don Pavletich was intentionally walked, and Buddy Bradford hit into a double play to end the inning.

The White Sox also had a chance to at least tie it in the seventh.  Walt Williams singled and was bunted to second and Ron Hansen walked.  A strikeout and a fly out ended the inning.

The Twins got an insurance run in the eighth.  Ted Uhlaender singled, was bunted to second, and scored on a two-out single by Cardenas.  The last eight Chicago batters went out, the last six of them on ground outs.

WP:  Perry (3-1).  LP:  Peters (1-4).  S:  Perranoski (4).

Notes:  It was a different lineup.  Cesar Tovar started, led off, and was at third base, with Killebrew moving to first.  Cardenas batted second.  Rod Carew was perhaps on another National Guard weekend, as Frank Quilici started at second.  George Mitterwald caught and Uhlaender, who had been leading off, batted eighth.

Cardenas raised his average to .341.  Tony Oliva was 0-for-4 and dropped to .330.  Uhlaender was 1-for-2 with a walk and was batting .329.  Killebrew was batting .311.  Perry had an ERA of 2.57.  Perranoski had an ERA of 0.39.

Having gotten two days off, Perranoski was apparently fresh enough to throw four innings of relief.  He was averaging nearly two innings per appearance.

Carlos May has largely been forgotten, but he was a pretty good ballplayer.  Primarily an outfielder, he spent most of his ten-year career with the White Sox.  He made the all-star team in 1969 and again in 1972.  He was third in Rookie of the Year voting in '69 and got MVP votes in 1972-1973.  1969 was probably his best year, as he batted .281 with an OBP of .385 and 18 home runs.  He also had a very good year in 1972, when he batted .308 with an OBP of .405 and twelve home runs.  His career numbers are .274/.357/.392.  A couple of interesting things about him:  he lost his right thumb in an accident while on Marine Reserve duty in August of 1969.  It ended his season, but he came back to have a solid year in 1970.  Also, he is probably the only major league player to wear his birthday on his uniform:  May 17.

Record:  The Twins had won their seventh in a row and were 15-7, in first place, leading Oakland by two games.

Keeping Track

Happy Birthday–October 23

William Hulbert (1832)
Mike Sullivan (1866)
Lena Blackburne (1886)
Rube Bressler (1894)
Billy Sullivan (1910)
Vern Stephens (1920)
Ewell Blackwell (1922)
Jim Bunning (1931)
Greg Thayer (1949)
John Castino (1954)
Dwight Lowry (1957)
Al Leiter (1965)
Todd Sears (1975)
David Riske (1976)
John Lackey (1978)
Bud Smith (1979)
Kyle Gibson (1987)

William Hulbert was one of the founders of the National League and was its president from 1877 until his death in 1882.

Infielder Lena Blackburne discovered and marketed the mud from the driver beds near the Delaware River in New Jersey that has been rubbed on every major league baseball used since the 1950s.

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The Nation Has An Appetite

Instant-aneous Indian: Instant Pot Shrimp Biryani

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Bonus Appetite post this month. I heard an interview with Urvashi Pitre ("The Butter Chicken Lady") recently and saw a recipe on the NYT for pressure cooker shrimp biryani that she swore would taste authentic and take mere minutes. She was right on both counts.
mis-en-place
Biryani on the stovetop takes a long time and a lot of prep. This version is quick and easy, once the (not so lot of) prep is done.
1. Soak 2 cups of your favorite long-grain rice for at least 30 minutes in water to cover by 2 inches or so. I used basmati, but jasmine would work well too. When you are ready to start sauteeing the veg, drain and rinse the rice and set aside.
2. Chop an onion
3. Finely chop about a tbsp of ginger and 3-5 cloves garlic
4. I wanted more veg than the recipe called for, so I cut a handful of green beans into 1-inch lengths and chunked a half of a yellow pepper and seeded/chopped a jalapeno (use a serrano for more bite). Even more veg would be good.
5. One small can of diced tomatoes, with juices.
6. Spices: a tsp of black mustard seeds plus 3-4 crushed green cardamom pods in one container. In another container: 1 tsp each turmeric, hot chile powder (such as cayenne; I used an Indian chile; use to taste if you don't like super spicey, although this amount did not make the dish hot, per the Mrs, who is not a chile head), smoked paprika, and granulated garlic, plus 1 tbsp kosher salt and ten fresh curry leaves, torn into small pieces (this is an optional, as curry leaves can be hard to find).
7. 1.5 cups boiling water.
8. Juice of a lime plus wedges for garnish
9. A half cup or so of chopped cilantro for garnish.
10. At least a dozen extra large or jumbo shrimp (I used 21-25s, which worked fine; bigger would be even better), peeled and deveined. At least 3-4 per serving. This amount of rice will easily serve 4-5 as a main course. Mine were frozen, so I had to thaw. They were very cold still when they went in, which probably helped them not over-cook.

Technique.
1. Put the Miracle Machine on "saute" to get hot, then add a nub of butter (I used about an ounce) and a tbsp or so of oil. When the oil is hot, add the cardamom and mustard seeds. Let sputter for a few seconds, stirring, then add the onion and saute for 3-4 minutes.
2. Add the veg and saute for a minute or so.
9. Add the ginger and garlic and stir for a few seconds.
10. Add the remaining spices and stir for a few seconds until fragrant.
11. Add the boiling water. Scrape the bottom of the pan to loosen any fond.
12. Add the rice, shrimp and tomatoes. Stir briefly, then put the lid on. Set to manual, high pressure for THREE MINUTES. I actually added the rice, stirred in the tomatoes, then put the shrimp on top.
13. When the timer goes off, do a manual release (mine did not even release any steam!), remove lid and stir in the lime juice. Turn off the machine. Put the lid back on and let rest for five minutes.
14. Serve. You can stir in the cilantro or use it for garnish if you have some cilantro haters.
15. Enjoy.

Start to finish, this took about 30 minutes.
shrimp biryani

Keeping Track

1969 Rewind: Game Twenty-one

MINNESOTA 4, SEATTLE 1 IN MINNESOTA

Date:  Thursday, May 1.

Batting stars:  Charlie Manuel was 2-for-3 with a walk and two RBIs.  Leo Cardenas was 2-for-3 with a double.  Rich Reese was 2-for-4 with a double.  Ted Uhlaender was 2-for-5 with two runs.  Tony Oliva was 2-for-5.

Pitching stars:  Dave Boswell pitched five innings, giving up one run on three hits and two walks and striking out four.  Joe Grzenda pitched four shutout innings, giving up two hits and a walk and striking out one.

Opposition stars:  Tommy Harper was 2-for-4 with a double.  Wayne Comer was 1-for-4 with a home run, his second.  Jack Aker pitched a scoreless inning, giving up a walk.

The game:  The Twins had a short-lived two-out rally in the second, but did not break through until the third, when Uhlaender singled, went to second on a ground out, and scored on a Manuel single.  The score went to 2-0 in the fourth when Reese hit a leadoff double and scored on Cardenas' single.

The Pilots got on the board in the fifth on a Wayne Comer homer.  The Twins got the run back in the bottom of the fifth when, with one out and men on second and third, Harmon Killebrew was intentionally walked and Manuel was accidentally walked.  The Twins still had the bases loaded with one out and had a chance to break the game open, but Jim Bouton came in and got Reese to hit into a force out at the plate and struck out Cardenas.

The Twins got another run in the sixth when Tony Oliva hit an RBI single.  They again had a chance for more, but Uhlaender was thrown out at the plate trying to score from second on Killebrew's single.  They again had the bases loaded in the seventh with one out, but Grzenda struck out and Uhlaender grounded to first.  Extra runs were not needed, however, as Grzenda held Seattle off the scoreboard the rest of the way.

WP:  Boswell (3-2).  LP:  Gary Bell (1-2).  S:  Grzenda (2).

Notes:  Carew was 1-for-5 and was batting .400.  Manuel was also batting .400.  Johnny Roseboro was 1-for-2 with two walks and was batting .348.  Oliva was batting .345.  Uhlaender was at .325.  Cardenas was batting .321.  Killebrew was 1-for-2 with three walks and was batting .314.

Given how hard Billy Martin had been riding his starters, it's surprising that Boswell came out so early.  He had given up just two hits and a walk before the Comer homer in the fifth.  He gave up a leadoff double to Harper in the sixth and was gone.  Grzenda got the job done, so you can't say it was a bad move.  It just seems out of character.

It's interesting that Grzenda was allowed to bat in the seventh with the bases loaded, one out, and the Twins up 4-1.  Obviously a hit there would've been big.  Grzenda was no batter and rarely even came up to bat.  He wasn't really a shutdown reliever, either.  Martin must have thought he was throwing the ball well that day, though, and he was proven right.

Manuel was 5-for-6 and 7-for-11.  The eleven at-bats spanned eight days.

This was Grzenda's longest outing of the season, and in fact was the longest outing of his career to this point.  He would have only one longer appearance, when he made a start in 1970 for Washington and pitched 8.1 innings.  He made two other starts for Washington that season, but lasted only two and four innings.

Ex-Twins Don Mincher and Rich Rollins went a combined 1-for-8 in the game.

Record:  The Twins had won six in a row and were 14-7, in first place, leading Oakland by 2.5 games.

Keeping Track

Happy Birthday–October 22

Kid Carsey (1870)
Bill Carrigan (1883)
Johnny Morrison (1895)
Jumbo Elliott (1900)
Jimmie Foxx (1907)
Wilbur Wood (1941)
Jamie Quirk (1954)
Frank DiPino (1956)
Keith Osik (1968)
Hector Carrasco (1969)
Ichiro Suzuki (1973)
Michael Barrett (1976)
Brad Thomas (1977)
Eli Whiteside (1979)
Robinson Cano (1982)
Darren O'Day (1982)

We would also like to wish very happy anniversary to Daneeka's Ghost and Mrs. Ghost.

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