All posts by Philosofer

Parentgood

FKB: Father of the Freakin’ Year

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I've made some pretty boneheaded parenting moves over the last month.

First: I left the baby sleeping on the bed while I went downstairs to get breakfast for the other kids. She seemed completely out. Of course she woke up a short time later, and didn't make a sound until she fell onto the floor. I think she probably had a mild concussion, given the way she was acting for the first half hour or so after the fall. I had a thing scheduled at work and I made plans to take her to the doctor after I got back from it, but she was back to her old self by the time I got home. Still, it was kind of horrifying.

Second: It took me more than a month to really respond to Aquinas' complaints of bullying before I took action. And it seems like that action was much needed, and has gone a long way towards correcting the problem (thank goodness for the fact that they're first graders, and still open to being good kids instead of blaming the one who told on them). My fear of ruffling feathers was too strong and my kid paid the price.

Third: And yet, in communicating about this issue, I may have inadvertently sent some signals that didn't exactly endear us or my kid to the teacher. I'm not quite sure why we can accurately observe that one kid is faster or stronger than a different one, but we can't observe that one is smarter than another? (I didn't straight up say anything like that, but I fear some unintended implications were taken (look, the class isn't particularly rigorous, and there is some classic "things are going too slow for him" stuff going on (I don't say this to brag about Aquinas, only to observe that this class is moving really slow. Halfway through the year and he's still doing math work that he did at this point in Kindergarten.)(also, he's absolutely going to keep getting 90% on everything you teach, no matter the difficulty, let's not act like 100% is needed to move on...))).

Fourth: Here's the biggie... I forgot my kid. I usually pick up Aquinas from school. If I can't, I arrange for him to take the bus to daycare. Well, I had a hearing out of town and... I forgot. So he walked to my office, per usual, only I wasn't there and the door was locked. So he started walking to the daycare, which is about a mile out of town. On the way there someone - a stranger to him (and us, but not other relatives) - stopped and offered a ride. He happily accepted because, as he put it, "he was tired of walking." The stranger brought him right to daycare (and apparently has done the same for other kids), so in a way it's a "no harm, no foul" situation. Except that my kid accepted a ride from a stranger. So... big time foul.

Anyway, I'm working at this parent thing. This morning I built a huge pillow barrier around the baby as she slept on the bed, and still went up and checked on her just about every other minute, and caught her just as she was waking up 6 minutes into me leaving her there... And I remembered to have Aquinas take the bus when I was gone on Tuesday. And I bribed him, so he got 100% on his spelling test last week. Maybe by the time they leave home I'll feel like I'm on the right track.

Friday Music Day

FMD: To Listen List

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I recently discovered a new artist. Just in the past few days. It's someone that I am absolutely loving. At the same time, I have to say that y'all have let me down. I don't think anyone on the WGOM has ever suggested I listen to Sturgill Simpson. The good news is that, despite the WGOM's silence, somehow he still creeped up to the top of my "To Listen List".

I'd heard some of his music here or there (well, I'm almost positive that it was never here) over the past few years, and I've always liked it, but never sat down and really gave it a listen until a few nights ago. Oh, I had long been meaning to, it just hadn't happened. Other things always took the place, and sometimes trying out new music just isn't what a person is in the mood for. So it sat for far too long. Maybe if someone here had recommended Simpson at any point I would have listened sooner...

Anyway, it turns out he's pretty good. Fantastic voice, excellent guitar work, creative (and somewhat seditious) lyrics... the whole works. You should check him out too.

And, in light of my recent discovery, I'm wondering what is at the top of your To Listen List? It seems like whenever there's something you know you should try, that doing so seems to pay off. At least that's been my experience. So what have you not gotten around to checking out that you've been meaning to for ages? What did you wait too long to try? And what should go to the top of my list, now that I've finally picked up Sturgill? (And, by the way, Sturgill should go to the top of your lists too... Maybe then we could all talk about him sometime?).

Friday Music Day

FMD: Stealth Attack

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Pepper shared the following quote with me from some thing she read that I admittedly haven't gotten around to reading yet (it'll happen... it hasn't even been 24 hours since she sent me the link):

As a delivery device for moments of inner emergency, no art form can approach the immediacy of popular song. A novel cannot assault you while you wait in line at the supermarket; a painting cannot reach out and turn your head as you walk on by; a poem’s feet cannot chase you down the street; a movie cannot screen itself. A song, though, can steal upon you in the dark, on a road, far from home, blow out your tires and leave you sobbing, in gratitude, at the wheel. All other art lives and dies in a medium that mandates we engage if we are to receive its gifts. Songs live in the air.

It's a great enough idea that I'm sure different parts will hit people differently, but the thing that really stuck out for me was the idea of a song "steal[ing] upon you in the dark". A song can come out of nowhere and hit you, big time. It seems like these are often sad songs, but not exclusively. I've had the same happen happily too.

So this week, I'd like to talk about stories of a time a song hit you, by surprise. What song. When and where were you, what were the emotions, how do you relate to that song now, have you ever captured that lightning in a bottle again, etc. I think I like this topic.

Friday Music Day

FMD: On The Road

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I'll be driving a bunch today. I'll probably mostly just flip radio stations until I get frustrated and turn on MPR News. Wait. It's a member drive. Alright, I'll probably just get frustrated.

What do you listen to when travelling? Let's make a "recommended for the road" playlist?

Friday Music Day

FMD: Let’s talk country

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My mother-in-law recently bought a George Strait greatest hits CD. It's... kind of fantastic (despite missing a few obvious selections). Wit the exception of, say Sturgill, we don't talk country music 'round these parts too often. I listened to a fair amount of country in high school, mostly while working in the summers, and that era of Country still hits a sweet spot for me sometimes. I've also listened to a good amount of older outlaw country over the past, say, decade. I still loathe new country, for the most part, and the few good songs aren't worth wading through the rest, imo. For me, country music's decline started with Lonestar. Anyway... What thoughts have you on Country? Not just what you like/tolerate/hate, but... More. What stories, reasons, feelings... Etc.

Friday Music Day

FMD: Proposed Covers

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There's something about cover songs that really appeals to me. Probably the obvious: someone putting a new spin on a classic makes it fresh again. Or maybe it's the less obvious: like a Star Trek alternate universe, it lets you reimagine the world with things changed, but somehow still familiar?

Anyway, this week I thought it might be fun to talk about cover songs that you'd like to see happen.

To kick it off, I'd say Marilyn Manson covering The Police's "Every Step You Take" could be interesting. I'll see if I can think of others.

Friday Music Day

FMD: Mood vs. Tone

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Philosofette taught a lesson this week in her English class demonstrating how mood and tone were different things. She used music to give the example. There were two different approaches, and I was thinking maybe we could take a stab at both of them this week? Seemed like a fun conversation.

#1 "Pumped Up Kicks"

The song sounds happy, upbeat, light even. The lyrics are horrifying. I'm not sure which of those was supposed to be mood, and which was tone, but the "song that sounds one way, but means a different way" thing demonstrates something, right?

#2 "How Do You Like Me Now?"

Strategy #2 was to pick two (or more) songs that fit a common theme. My submission for her class was "happiness" and I guessed I narrowed it further by focusing on songs with a tone of "achievement." Two songs that couldn't be more different in mood, but both fit that tone, are Toby Keith's "How Do You Like Me Now" and Etta James' "At Last." Completely different, but somewhat the same too.

Anyway, what contrasting mood/tone songs do ya got? Happy ones? Sad ones? Mad ones? (I think that covers all the emotions, right?). Have at it!

Friday Music Day

FMD: Music To Cook By

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I feel like I tend to do a lot of cooking in these brutal winter months. I'm sure I don't actually cook more (maybe I bake more?), but something about it seems to... fill the time in a way it doesn't in the summer. Summer cooking is easy. Winter cooking feels more purposeful. In the summer, I can put on whatever tunes I need for cooking to, because anything can fit. In the winter? I'm not quite sure. I often still use the same old Rat Pack songs, but those are happier, lighter, summery songs. I'm sure I'll be doing some baking of some sort this weekend, so help me out... what music should I be cooking to in the winter? Is it different for you too?

Games

The Games We Play: Christmas Wrap Up

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Did everyone give new games for Christmas? Did everyone get new games for Christmas? Games were popular in our household, so I thought a rundown might be appropriate.

Kids Division:

Connect Four - My kids got it from someone. It's a classic at that age for a reason. Simple, but the game holds up, and they're loving it.

Race To The Treasure - DG shared this one during the last Games post, and I'd like to echo his recommendation. My kids have enjoyed this game immensely. The mechanic is simple - draw a tile, place it on the board, build a path that collects the required keys and get to the end before you draw too many troll tiles. I was worried the game would be too easy - and it borders on that - but we've just made it more difficult by requiring 4 keys instead of 3. Aquinas has played the game a number of times on his own too, and has made variations as he sees fit. I can't recommend this one highly enough.

Outfoxed - RPZ recommend this one. When I looked (a week-and-a-half out or more)I couldn't find it anywhere that would get it delivered before Christmas, so we didn't get it, and haven't played it. But I read up on it, and it seems strong enough that I'm excited to chase it down in the future.

Grown Ups Division

King Of Tokyo - Highest recommendation for this game, particularly for more casual gamers. Simple mechanics (roll dice, pick the ones you want to keep), multiple ways to win (smash other players, gain points), multiple ways to accomplish those tasks (roll dice, buy cards, hold the city), and cards you can buy during the game that effectively make each game significantly different. Aquinas is 7 and loves the game. He's not the greatest at it all the time, but once or twice he has come up with fantastic strategies that I didn't see, and won the game with them. So it's easy enough, but complex enough to be enjoyable many times over. Also, by Richard Garfield, the same guy what made Magic: The Gathering.

Hanabi - A simple cooperative card game that is incredibly difficult to win. There are 5 colors and 5 numbers. The goal is to create a pile of each color, in numbered order (Blue 1 - 5, Red 1 - 5, etc.). You play with your cards facing away from you, so all the others can see them but you can't. You then move around the circle either playing cards from you hand (if it's the next card on the stack, you can play it, if it's wrong, you discard it) or giving hints to other players. There are only a few of each card number though, and you can run out of hints to give, so you need to be very careful about your path forward. I played this with some darn intelligent folks and we never won (though we found out we were handcuffing ourselves a little bit, which might have changed 1 out of like 4 results... Maybe.). A great challenge.

500 - Look, it's a classic, and we played a bunch of it.

Adult Division

Cards Against Humanity - I'm well aware that I'm late to the party on this one, but I've played it now, and yes, it was fun and funny and awful. There were a number of things that I needed to avoid googling. So I felt good about that?

Codenames: After Dark - A slightly racier, more scatological take on the original, which is a great party game. Basically, the clue givers give a single word clue and how many cards on a common board that the clue applies to. They can't say anything more or otherwise hint in any way. The trick is that some of those words on the common board belong to the other team, and one is an assassin, so you need to be careful in your clues, and good luck in your guesses. The After Dark variant sets it up so that the clue givers are often in the position of saying things like "boob" or "poop." It's not really particularly adult, but it tries to be. Still a very fun game, and I recommend any version of it.

So what did you get? What did you give? What did you play? What are you excited to try?