2011 Game 39: Twins at Mariners

Finally, the Twins get to pick on somebody their own size. The Worst Team in Baseball is 12-256; the Mariners, 16-23 and in last place in the A.L. West, percentage points "up" on the Bitch Sox for second worst record in the A.L.

Seattle returns home from an 0-4 East Coast (err, Bal'more and Cleveland) trip that ended with consecutive rainouts. So they should be well rested.

Pitching matchup

Scott Baker (3.71 ERA, 4.36 FIP, 3.76 xFIP, 97 tRA+, 40:15 K:BB in 43 2/3) vs.
Michael Pineda (2.84 ERA, 2.67 FIP, 3.31 xFIP, 145 tRA+, 45:13 K:BB in 44 1/3)

The 22-year old rookie right-hander Pineda has been very effective to date, echoing his minor league performance (2.49 ERA, 396:93 K:BB in 404 1/3). He's a fastball-slider guy and, according to PitchFx, Pineda has a VERY live fastball (avg 95.1 MPH), with the slider coming in at 84.7. A right-handed F-Bomb??

Oh, and in case that wasn't discouraging enough, here's some salt in your wounds from the Yahoo preview:

Minnesota outfielder Delmon Young(notes) went 1 for 12 with seven strikeouts against Toronto over the weekend in his return from rib soreness that sidelined him nearly a month. Young is a .227 lifetime hitter at Safeco Field with 18 strikeouts in 66 at-bats.

Enjoy some West Coast baseball, kids. I will be at the Girl's violin lesson for most of this one.

Third Monday Movie Day

Movie of the Month: Delicatessen (Jean-Pierre Jeunet, 1991)

Delicatessen is another beautifully shot, dark but ultimately hopeful film from not-prolific-enough director Jean-Pierre Jeunet. Louison (Dominique Pinon, a Jeunet regular), a former clown, moves into a sad, rundown tenement in a rustic (post-apocalyptic?) world, answering an ad to be the building's handyman. The ad's been placed by the tenement's butcher, who draws in helpers, kills them and sells the meat to the tenants, who have little else to sustain them.

The butcher's daughter falls for Louison, and well, that's a movie right there. Highly recommended, and not as dark as it sounds. It's largely a comedy.

I didn't see any terrible movies this month, but the most disappointing was Easy A, a high-school romp very loosely based on The Scarlet Letter. A few good performances can't save the thing from being predictable down to the letter, even by teen comedy standards.

What have you seen?

Happy Birthday–May 16

Cy Rigler (1882)
Watty Clark (1902)
Earl Halstead (1912)
Stubby Overmire (1919)
Dave Philley (1920)
Rube Walker (1926)
Billy Martin (1928)
Rick Reuschel (1949)
Rick Rhoden (1953)
Jack Morris (1955)
Tack Wilson (1956)
Mark Funderburk (1957)
Bob Patterson (1959)
Mitch Webster (1959)
Doug Brocail (1967)
Jim Mecir (1970)

Dave Philley played five of his eighteen major league seasons in Philadelphia, three for the Athletics and two for the Phillies.

Continue reading Happy Birthday–May 16

Game #38: Blue Jays 11, Twins 3

Twins record: 12-26
Fangraphs
MLB Game Wrap

To be honest, I did not watch much of this game today. When I first turned it on, the score was already 2-0. I heard there was a fair amount of _elm_n being _elm_n today. I also noticed that Jose Bautista had more at-bats in which he hit a home run than at-bats in which he did not. Instead, I paid more attention to the Phillies-Braves game on TBS, which was an intriguing pitching duel between Roy Halladay and Tim Hudson, and which featured what appeared to be actual major league baseball players in both teams' dugouts. Dan Uggla put the Braves ahead 3-2 with a homer off Doc in the bottom of the 8th and Craig Kimbrel pitched a damage-less 9th for the save.

On the bright side, I'm ready to see what glories the newly-begun Phil Dumatrait Era has in store for Twins Nation.

Ex-Twins Player of the Week: J.J. Hardy went 2-for-5 with a grand slam (off of fellow ex-Twin Rob Delaney) to finalize his slash line for the week at .400/.444/.640. If there are any other ex-Twins with worthy weekly performances, please direct your humble recapper's attention to them. (Programming note: The Twins Hitter and Pitcher of the Week Awards will be replaced by Ex-Twins Player of the Week for all subsequent weeks this season in which the Twins fail to win a game.)

Game 38: Twins at Blue Jays

Gardy stalked down the sidewalk straight to an obscure door of the decrepit Metrodome. Gardy reached around the wall feeling for a light switch. He found it and switched it up, but nothing happened.

"Figures," he muttered to himself.

Gardy stormed down some stairs into the bowels of the Metrodome. He continued down several corridors before finally trying to open a door, but it was locked.

"Why is this thing locked?" he called through the door. "Open up!"

"You didn't give the secret knock!" a muffled voice said from inside the room.

"I hate all this cloak and dagger b--- s---," Gardy muttered before tapping out "Shave and a Haircut."

The door was unlocked from inside, and it opened slowly with a loud creeeaaaak to reveal a darkened room save for a lonely candle in the center of a table in the middle of the room. Bill Smith and Jim Pohlad were sitting at the table wearing black capes with hoods.

"The plan isn't working!" Gardy said as he stormed in, slammed the door and dropped in a chair at the table.

"You must have patience, my young apprentice," a crusty voice said from a darkened corner of the room followed by a puff of cigar smoke. "This is a long horse race, and we have to hold our thoroughbred back, so he will finally have enough endurance to finish the race and win the prize at the end!"

"T.K., I am not your apprentice anymore, and I'm tired of all the horse racing crap. Your horses have won fewer races than I've won playoff games," Gardy said. "And who is that in the other corner over there?"

"I'm hunger. I'm thirst. Where I bite, I hold till I die, and even after death they must cut out my mouthful from my enemy's body and bury it with me. I can fast a hundred years and not die. I can lie a hundred nights on the ice and not freeze. I can drink a river of blood and not burst," a creepy voice said from the darkened corner.

"OK, who brought the FOX exec here?" Gardy asked.

"I did," Smith said," He has a vested interest in this as well."

"Yes, and it's going splendidly," said Pohlad with glee. "This is going to be a spectacular comeback. This is going to be so much fun!" Pohlad jumped up and down as he talked. "They thought they had seen amazing comebacks before, but they've never seen anything like this."

"OK, OK, settle down," Smith said. "Gardy, I know you're frustrated, but you knew the first part of the plan would be difficult. Your players will be restored to you when the time is right. We need to rest them so they'll be ready for October."

"Could you at least have given some reasonable injuries? Sore arms, oblique strains, bilateral leg weakness? C'mon, even Ron Coomer doesn't buy that one."

"That one's mine," Pohlad said with a grin. "I love that one."

"And why did you give Morneau food poisoning? Or force Pavano to grow a beard? And what did you do to Cuddyer?" Gardy asked.

"We took his magic kit away," Smith said with a wry grin.

"And I didn't know we would get this far back in the standings," Gardy said. "The fans are starting to lose hope. I'm starting to lose hope."

"When the time is right. We must stick to the plan," Smith said.

Well, it better be soon," Gardy said. "Please! Let it be soon!"

Happy Birthday–May 15

Joe Evans (1895)
Jimmy Wasdell (1914)
Al McBean (1938)
Yukata Enatsu (1948)
Bill North (1948)
Rick Waits (1952)
George Brett (1953)
John Smoltz (1967)
Scott Watkins (1970)
A. J. Hinch (1974)
Josh Beckett (1980)
Justin Morneau (1981)

A. J. Hinch was drafted by Minnesota in the third round in 1995, but did not sign.

Today is also the birthday of Twins’ farmhand Brian Dozier (1987).

Continue reading Happy Birthday–May 15

Remodeled basement. Same half-baked taste.