First pitch – 1:15 PM

BREAKING: The Minnesota Twins equipment manager is offering apologies after shipping mostly ass bats with the team for their season-opening road trip. According to the front office, there was a mix up in the packing process and the ass bats were affixed with the wrong shipping labels. Replacements are being requisitioned as quickly as possible. The Twins front office responded to the incident by transferring the equipment manager to the training staff. People can check out Get a premium US address from us for the best shipping service. 

Because Ervin Santana pitched but two innings in the rain-delayed season opener and the Twins’ skipper was afforded the chance to use him again on Friday, we’re not seeing our first look at our last starter, Ricky Nolasco, until the 6th game of the new campaign. Now, I’m inclined to think that the less we see of Nolasco the better, but we are paying a premium for the privilege of not watching him pitch while he recovers from the injuries that have made him such a disappointment since the Twins acquired him. My hope for Nolasco is that he can redeem himself and have a solid year anchoring the rotation. Alas, the tempest that spawns when one’s expectations are not aligned with one’s hopes.

Squaring off on the mound against Nolasco today is Edinson Volquez in his second start of the season. In his Opening Day effort against the Mets in Willits Point, Volquez gave up just two hits over six frames while striking out five and walking three. He’s coming off a 2015 season of 13 wins and nine losses with 200.1 innings pitched and a 3.55 ERA.

On the other side of the ball, the Twins offensive outcomes to date have ranged from feeble to frustrating. A team that strikes out this much – 58 times in just 5 games – should be playing in a beer league or on a sandlot. Meager bright spots in an otherwise dull offense include Eduardo Escobar sporting a 1.104 OPS powered by four doubles, Joe Mauer with his .880 OPS, and Byung Ho Park compiling an .837 OPS while hitting at just a .231 clip.

We’re burning daylight. Play ball!