I don't expect it to be long. It's a long story, but as I fall more out of love with acting and more in love with writing, it's not important for me to be right here in LA incurring expenses as I work toward a deal.
Happy Birthday–August 28
Joe Yeager (1875)
Dode Paskert (1881)
Aaron Ward (1896)
Charlie Grimm (1898)
Paul Bowa (1918)
Tony Gonzalez (1936)
Tom Satriano (1940)
Lou Piniella (1943)
Mike Torrez (1946)
Ron Guidry (1950)
Joel Youngblood (1951)
Darren Lewis (1967)
Jay Witasick (1972)
Tom Shearn (1977)
Carlos Quentin (1982)
Paul Bowa is the father of Larry Bowa and the grandfather of Nick Johnson. He was a minor league infielder who reached as high as AAA, and later became a minor league manager in the St. Louis Cardinals' organization.
We would also like to wish a very happy birthday to bhiggum.
Game 132: Tigers 6, Twins 4
FOX spared me the pain of watching this one, so I don't have much insight on this game, but at least the annoying streak of pitiful offense is over finally. The Twins had gone 61 straight innings without scoring more than one run. And all it took to end the streak was the Twins getting back-to-back home runs by Luke Hughes and Jason Repko off Justin Verlander at Target Field.
The Twins are now 5-19 in August, their second 19-loss month in this season that will seemingly never end. The Twins haven't had lost 20 games in a month since September 1999 when they went 7-21. However, the Twins' record for most losses in a month is safe, at least for August, since the Twins only have four games left. However, they will have to go 2-2 to avoid having their worst month since the Twins went 3-26 in May 1981. Wow, that would kill any hopes for a season real fast.
The Twins are 14-29 since the AS break. Surprisingly, they have outperformed their Pythag by five games on the season.. They are 23-23 in one-run games and 5-4 in extra-inning games.
The Jayhawks – Blue
The Jayhawks: Joe Mauer, Justin Morneau, Jose Mijares, Joe Nathan, and Jason Kubel. The Minneapolis group sings the song that best describes the way they are making Twins fans feel this season.
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GUVVGQjWFg4
Or it is the 1995 Jayhawks line up on the John Stewart Show? It is one or the other.
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Loading... Game #(insert game number here): (insert AAA joke here) vs. (insert detroit or large cat joke here)
("Man this team is bad" joke)
(half-hearted statistical analysis detailing just how bad things have gotten)
(oh, wait... we're batting against Verlander today? We're even more out of luck than usual.)
(Make 190-pitch complete game joke.)
(links to these two Gleeman tweets detailing how the Twins aren't very good at anything)
(threaten to volunteer to do house work with the wife instead of watching game, only to chicken out later because the work she's got planned sucks, and bad baseball is better than no baseball until the 8th inning when we've only got ONE FREAKING RUN AGAIN)
(Delmon Young joke)
(snarky condolences to anyone who watches the game)
I mean, if the Twins can phone it in, why can't I?
Race to the Bottom
Someone suggested that it's time for a race to the bottom. Well, it's a little early for the sidebar (the Twins are currently in 31st place for most losses in a season in franchise history, that makes for a long list on the sidebar).
However, I took the time to put the list together, below the fold.
2011 Game 131 Recap: Tigers 8, Twins 1
Box Score
Fangraphs
Weather: 86 degrees, clear
Wind: 12 mph, out to RF
Time: 2:55
Attendance: 38,918
I woke up with a head pounding like Niagara Falls and a mouth as dry as Death Valley. An empty bourbon bottle lay on its side on the table, another soldier that gave its last full measure. The dame was long gone, more than a month ago now. One night while we were having a few laughs she slipped me a mickey and took a powder, taking the mojo and my wallet with her. Yeah, she played me for a real sap, and I let her. The name's Twayn. I'm a shamus.
I thought I had her angle figured, see? It seemed clear that the dame was setting me up for a double cross. It was the smart move, after all. Hire me to find the mojo for her, then stick a shiv in my back and make tracks. There's no shortage of teams looking for some mojo this time of year, and they're willing to shell out a stack of semollians to get it. Some of them aren't above using a dame to get what they want. I was onto her from the start, but I let my guard down that night. Maybe it was the way her eyes shined in the moonlight, or the sob story she poured out along with the whiskey.
I've heard a lot of sob stories in my day. They mostly went along with the sound of a tinny piano playing in the parlor downstairs. "Mister, I met a man once when I was young," it always began. This one wasn't much different. So I let her set the hook and start reeling. I just didn't figure she'd make her move quite so fast. Now the mojo is gone for good, and things have been going south ever since she flew the coop. Bad pitching, bad hitting, bad defense -- it's pretty much been the perfect storm of horseshit baseball for the team. And to top if off, Jim Thome got shanghaied to Cleveland.
I still watch the games most nights. Call it my self-imposed penance for letting the mojo get away, and since the boys downtown pulled my license I don't have a lot to do these days. But it doesn't take a detective to see the signs of a team that's lost its mojo. A 5-18 record in August, the worst in the major leagues. Six losses in a row, and no more than a run scored in any of them. Hell, the boys haven't scored more than a run in 13 of their last 23 games. And for the first time in franchise history, they've lost six straight games at home.
I pull the covers back and drag my sad sack of bones out of the bed, run fingers through my hair and head for the shower. There's an afternoon game today, and I need to get to the liquor store before first pitch. Maybe I should just get a case this time. I have a hunch it's going to be a long September.
Minor Details: Games of 8/26
Rochester 2, Syracuse 0 in Syracuse (Game 1--Scheduled 7 innings). Aaron Bates hit a two run homer in the fifth for the only runs of the game. Liam Hendriks worked six innings, giving up five hits and no walks while striking out five. Jim Hoey pitched a perfect seventh for his eighth save.
Rochester 3, Syracsue 2 in Syracuse (Game 2-- Scheduled 7 innings). The Red Wings overcame a 2-0 deficit with a three-run third. Jair Fernandez singled and doubled. Jeff Bailey had two hits. Tom Stuifbergen gave up two runs (one earned) on four hits and no walks, striking out five in five innings. Chuck James threw two hitless innings, walking three and striking out four, to get his first save.
New Britain 4, Trenton 2 in Trenton. The Rock Cats trailed 2-1 after eight before scoring three in the ninth to win. Joe Benson's two-run triple brought in the tying and winning runs. Brian Dozier had three hits and Yangervis Solarte had two, with each raising his average to .319. Andrew Albers went six innings, giving up a run seven hits and no walks. Deolis Guerra got the win with three innings of work, striking out six while giving up a run on a hit and two walks. The win moved the Rock Cats to a tie with Reading for the last playoff spot.
Charlotte 2, Ft. Myers 1 in Charlotte (Game 1--8 innings--Scheduled 7 innings). Omar Luna opened the eighth with a single, went to second on a wild pitch, stole third, and scored on a single to win the game for the Stone Crabs. Danny Rohlfing had three hits. This was the completion of a suspended game, so Tom Stuifbergen, who was the starter of game 2 in Rochester, was the starter in this game as well. He gave up one run on three hits and a walk in 5.2 innings. Matthew Tone took over the pitching and took the loss, allowing a run on two hits and three walks while striking out three in 1.2 innings.
Ft. Myers 6, Charlotte 3 in Charlotte (Game 2--Scheduled 9 innings). The Miracle scored three in the fourth to take a 4-0 lead. Oswaldo Arcia had two hits. Angel Morales homered. Danny Rams drove in three. Pat Dean pitched seven strong innings, giving up two runs on seven hits and no walks.
Beloit 6, Burlington 3 in Beloit. The Snappers scored in five of the eight innings in which they batted. Lance Ray had two doubles. Nate Roberts and Andy Leer each homered. Pedro Guerra got the win, giving up an unearned run on four hits and two walks while striking out eleven in five innings. Bart Carter worked two perfect innings of relief, striking out two, and Jose Gonzalez gave up a hit and struck out three in a scoreless inning.
Elizabethton 11, Bluefield 4 in Bluefield. The Twins broke a 4-4 tie with seven in the eighth. Nick Lockwood had two doubles and a single. Jairo Rodriguez had three hits. Miguel Sano tripled and homered, driving in five; the home run was his seventeenth. JaDamion Williams and Niko Goodrum each singled and doubled, with Williams raising his average to .333. Max Kepler had two hits. Tim Shibuya pitched six innings, giving up a run on three hits and a walk. Steven Gruver was awarded the win despite surrendering three runs on four hits and two walks in 1.2 innings. The win gave the Twins a three game lead over Kingsport for the last playoff spot.
GCL Red Sox 6, Twins 1 at Red Sox. The Red Sox scored four in the second to take a 5-0 lead. Dereck Rodriguez had two hits. Hung Yi Chen yielded five runs (four earned) on seven hits in just 1.2 innings. Nick Cicio threw three shutout innings, giving up just one hit.
August 27, 2011: One
...is the loneliest number, so why the hell are the Twins so married to it? I asked offhand last night, and Sean mentioned that this ties the record (5) for a team scoring exactly one run in consecutive games. Um, congratulations?
Happy Birthday–August 27
Lew Simmons (1838)
Hal Janvrin (1892)
Peanuts Lowrey (1917)
Joe Cunningham (1931)
Jim King (1932)
Ernie Broglio (1935)
Joe McCabe (1938)
Ed Herrmann (1946)
Buddy Bell (1951)
Mike Maddux (1961)
Brian McRae (1967)
Jim Thome (1970)
Jose Vidro (1974)